Tiffany23 Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Women And Mate Poaching Published on January 10, 2012 by John R. Buri, Ph.D. in Love Bytes Are you currently in love? Let me ask you --- how interested would an unattached female be in poaching your current love interest? Or putting the shoe on the other foot, if you are not currently in a relationship, how interested would you be in poaching another woman's boyfriend? It turns out that single women are particularly interested in men who are already in a committed relationship --- they seem to have a distinct preference for mate poaching (much more so than single men). When presented bio information along with a photo of a relatively attractive man, fewer than 60% of the women surveyed were interested in pursuing this man if he was NOT currently attached. But if this man was already in a committed romantic relationship, 90% of the single women expressed a strong desire to pursue him. 90%! [bTW: There was not a similar preference among men for attached women over unattached ones.] Women --- hang onto your man. There is a good chance that someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to snag him. When asked why they were particularly attracted to attached men, single women responded: - "Revenge - what goes around comes around" - "To see if I can - I love a good challenge" - "It's exciting - you're in the hunt" - "Because I can - and once I do, it's an ego boost" - "Because he's already been tested - he's pre-approved" Real sweethearts, huh? Remember - 90%! Don't you just want to yell: "Go find your own relationship." Bottom line: research has revealed that poachers rate low in reliability, low in good-heartedness, and low in relationship fidelity. So if you are looking for a temporary burst of excitement that might also stroke your ego, go ahead - screw over some unsuspecting woman who is already in a relationship. After all, isn't that what she deserves if she is that naïve? But if you are looking for a stable, healthy, long-term love relationship, be forewarned --- if you poached your man to begin with, guess what - if you were able to poach him, then there is a good chance that he is poachable again. References: "Who's Chasing Whom?" by Jessica Parker and Melissa Burkley (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2009, 45, pp. 1016-1019). "Sex Differences in Perceptions of Benefits and Costs of Mate Poaching" by Alastair Davies, Todd Shackelford, & Glen Hass (Personality and Individual Differences, 2010, 49, pp. 441-445). http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-bytes/201201/women-and-mate-poaching 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caye98 Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 I generally receive more interest and attention from other women when I am already in the company of another one. I have one friend in alignment with Tiff that specifically likes to go out with me as a "prop" when we go dancing. After all, we both enjoy looking at and chatting up women! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlintNPebbles Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Tiffany you always have the most interesting posts NOT ME...I have never been interested in a guy who was dating or otherwise attached. I guess I grew up with parents who taught me not to covet thy neighbor or the belongings of thy neighbor. Not to say I haven't thought a guy was interesting or attractive while they were dating a friend or someone I knew but poaching is not for me. That being said....my ex husband was "poached". At the time I was devastated...the woman only went out with married men...but after I got through it I found out that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As for him.....he made his bed and he's discovered that it is not a very comfortable bed 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz1104 Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Quite happy with the choice i've made. I enjoy to flirt with the opposite sex,but at the end of the day I go home to the one I love. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparta Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Tiffany you always have the most interesting posts NOT ME...I have never been interested in a guy who was dating or otherwise attached. I guess I grew up with parents who taught me not to covet thy neighbor or the belongings of thy neighbor. Not to say I haven't thought a guy was interesting or attractive while they were dating a friend or someone I knew but poaching is not for me. That being said....my ex husband was "poached". At the time I was devastated...the woman only went out with married men...but after I got through it I found out that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As for him.....he made his bed and he's discovered that it is not a very comfortable bed 90% ?? Hmmm! FlintNPebbles, you must be one of the 5%!! (The final 5% are pursuing women). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unitedrich Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Quite happy with the choice i've made. I enjoy to flirt with the opposite sex,but at the end of the day I go home to the one I love. Me too caz, 24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlefeet Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Me too caz, 24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet NICE 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffani929 Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Interesting post, but really? 90% ACTIVELY seeking out attached men? I could see how an attached individual could appear more attractive. When people are in a relationship, they are usually confident and carry themselves well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz1104 Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Me too caz, 24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet Now that Ladies & Gentelmen is what I call Love. I Love my Sweet with all my heart and know exactly where home is,I don't need GPS. Congrats on your 1st 24 years and here's to your next 24. Well done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcjams Posted January 11, 2012 Report Share Posted January 11, 2012 Hmmmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brbrlocke Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Me too caz, 24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet Almost the same thing I tell my Husband. It's okay to look at the menu just come home to eat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyron Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Oooh! bad karma. Today you steal someone's man, tomorrow someone else comes to steal yours 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AoK Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Hmm....that explains why I'm still single...I gotta get married to get a girlfriend! Okay! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elixirbaby Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 I'm married. wink wink. Just kidding. Thanks for the post Tiff. Go RV 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handy Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 wow ,90% , very interesting , i knew for some reason women like married guys but i didn't know it was that high Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffany23 Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Evolution Psychology would predict this. Women instinctively want two things out of a mate: good genes and a good provider. So why go out and test an unproven market (single guys)…when all you have to do is go after a test driven model (married). Personally, I have found this to be very true…my single GFs MUCH prefer a guy in a relationship than one that isn’t. And I thought it a bit odd that while men prefer having sexual relationships with as many women as they can; they want to settle down with someone that hasn’t been around (much). Double Standards!!!!! While women actually don’t seem to mind a man that has been "around", as they believe they can change him. And they especially like going after one that is currently in a committed relationship. No wander why the two sexes can’t understand each other! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willy1der Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 I generally receive more interest and attention from other women when I am already in the company of another one. I have one friend in alignment with Tiff that specifically likes to go out with me as a "prop" when we go dancing. After all, we both enjoy looking at and chatting up women! I couldn't pass it up, toot toot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
429 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Evolution Psychology would predict this. Women instinctively want two things out of a mate: good genes and a good provider. And I thought it a bit odd that while men prefer having sexual relationships with as many women as they can. Biologists would agree with this hypothesis. With very, very few exceptions, the female of the species has a need for stability, good genes and a good provider. The male of the species has the need for mating with as many partners as possible to pass along his bloodline. Hey, it's just the way the good Lord made me! Just kidding. Actually, my wife and I have been married 28+ years, 3 kids and (now with newborn twins!) 3 grandkids. And yes, I'm allowed to look at the menu, but I stay on my diet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mak63 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 No wander why the two sexes can’t understand each other! Tiff, men get to emotion through sex....... women get to sex through emotion. Guys that understand this "can" have a lot of fun:) Mak63 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markinsa Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 I've noticed that I'm stalked by Sabre Tooth Tigers (I'm too old for Cougars), and Married Women. - 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markchem Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Tiff, men get to emotion through sex....... women get to sex through emotion. Guys that understand this "can" have a lot of fun:) Mak63 While I think what you say Mak is well said and generally very accurate, I had to chuckle of my teenage days 30 years ago when two of the proverbial male lies were " Yes, dear I love you" and "I will respect you in the morning". As I look back, more often than not, these "lies" really weren't lies - just "false" male bravado! I can say that now thirty years later - the wife doesn't give it two thoughts anyhow. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dah-kota Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 I'm married. wink wink. Just kidding. Thanks for the post Tiff. Go RV You've got a long line at your front door. I'm still trying to sneak in the back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPSprayduster Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 The reason why is that Single women chase married men is they don't have to put with normal day to day issue with a married man. See them when they want get what the need and they are happy. Easy until the married guy gets caught or fall in love with her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mak63 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 While I think what you say Mak is well said and generally very accurate, I had to chuckle of my teenage days 30 years ago when two of the proverbial male lies were " Yes, dear I love you" and "I will respect you in the morning". As I look back, more often than not, these "lies" really weren't lies - just "false" male bravado! I can say that now thirty years later - the wife doesn't give it two thoughts anyhow. LOL! I was there 30 years ago as well My quote is one of those things that maturity (being dragged through life) brings Smart guys won't play around if they're married and single guys will have more fun dating if they really understand the ladies Mak63 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tampa1000 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Tiff I like this post but I wonder what was your reason for it!!! I say this because you don't really care for men, you have made it very clear on here!!! If I'm wrong then make your self very clear.....I've read many post where on other girls page on here where you stated you like girls.......... and guys don't get the hint, so please explain your self, thanks in advance....I always wanted to know the questons i asked you!!! Thanks again... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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