90% of Single Woman want to pursue men already in committed relationships

[Nadita]

Tiffany you always have the most interesting posts

NOT ME...I have never been interested in a guy who was dating or otherwise attached. I guess I grew up with parents who taught me not to covet thy neighbor or the belongings of thy neighbor. Not to say I haven't thought a guy was interesting or attractive while they were dating a friend or someone I knew but poaching is not for me.

That being said....my ex husband was "poached". At the time I was devastated...the woman only went out with married men...but after I got through it I found out that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As for him.....he made his bed and he's discovered that it is not a very comfortable bed

High five to you! The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. I don't poach another woman's boyfriend, fiancee or husband. There are plenty of fish out there, just lower your bait and wait

[jon29]

Girls seem to chase after me whether I'm with another girl or by myself, it gets very embarrassing. It gets tiresome always having to think up some excuse for these lovestruck fools.

[Nadita]

Girls seem to chase after me whether I'm with another girl or by myself, it gets very embarrassing. It gets tiresome always having to think up some excuse for these lovestruck fools.

Hmmmmm..... You make me wonder ?! Must be a very handsome and buffed dude.

[jon29]

Hmmmmm..... You make me wonder ?! Must be a very handsome and buffed dude.

No just average, one level above those Hollister dudes, what wimps.

[smee2]

Tiff ... another good question. and I may be able to shock you a little here.

I was married twice. The first time lasted five and a half months. The second one lasted 34 years, and the anniversary of Neil's death will be a week tomorrow.

In the time in between first husband and soul mate, the husband I was meant to have, I was "the other woman" ... twice. Why?

An attached man is safer. The situation is usually simpler in reality than marriage or other attachments. How?

Well, for starters he doesn't expect you to cook, clean, and pick up his dirty socks. You are not expected to bear his children, placate a mother-in-law, or be that other part of him ... the little woman.

Provided the other woman is discrete and responsible and follows whatever "rules" make the man feel comfortable and safe, then the other woman ... me ... is in charge of basically everything. This only works if the man in the picture really trusts the other woman.

I had absolutely no feeling of guilt either. Each of the men for whom I was the other woman, had tried to make their marriage a mutually satisfying and at least content arrangement. In each case, however, it was the wife who was making life miserable ... for both of them.

I can tell you that one of the men I shared with a wife was an older man, with a wife who was suffering alzheimers, most often did not remember who he was and why he was preparing dinner and asking her to come to the table and eat with him. He put up with this for years before we found each other. And it wasn't that he was looking. It was a mutual realization that he had some needs, and I do not mean just sex, but companionship, preferrably with someone who remembered his name, and laughter. His wife could no longer give him this. I met her, and her sister. I learned enough about the family to know that there are special cases where a man is really not cheating when his wife really doesn't even remember. But for those time when she would get a glimpse and remember for a short while, was it really fair for her to suddenly remember him and the first question out of her mouth would be "Why did you divorce me?" No, that would hurt.

Anyway for the other man it was more along the lines of adventure, the easing of massive boredom and no excitement or even changes in their lives, the seventeen year itch ... I met him on the day of their seventeenth anniverwary. If his wife had paid even half the attention to him that she expected him to pay to her, I think they could have made it work. But it never did. Even after we parted ways and eventually I married again, he was still unhappy and so was his wife.

So, the main attraction to the "other woman" and the "other man" scenario would be, in my experience, safety. Having decided that your life is missing something, be it physical, or mental, or emotional, and then having decided to do something about it, the only hurdle to cross really is how to do it safely.

Some may think that a man, or a woman, who plays around, is just an awful person. And maybe some are just that. But I met many men who were really not looking to hurt their wives, but more interested in finding a little compantionship, and laughter, with another woman, someone who was not going to nag them or ignore them or do things that hurt their feelings without even taking any care of what they do or say and have no concern about what it might do to their relationship. I find it difficult to explain and I think it would take face-to-face over several cups of hot chocolate to even come close.

But your interesting question is just the beginning of this subject, and all the turns and twists it can take. Many years ago Psychology Today, the magazine, had a write up on the other person syndrome. It was a good piece. But it was flawwed. Once psychologists started pulling the subject apart, and adding input from anthropologists on such specialist areas as fidelity to family, clan, and tribe, and how it all works within the societal structure to ensure healthy development not only of the physical attributes of children but the emotional stability of the group, the scientists doing the studies ,and then producing the publication, realized they were a little off centre on this one. I suspect as we learn even more, as men and women find even more that they can open up and answer questions truthfully, without fear or shame or guilt, we might just see another level built.

From the beginning of recorded history there has been the other woman ... the mistress. Usually the upper class of society, the nobility, and the upper echelons of the military, were allowed such without censure provided there was discretion in the relationship.

From then until now perhaps most of the reasons for men and women to be in an intimate relationship outside of the bounds of marriage have remained the same. But with the advancements and changes in life styles, surely there have been parallel changes of attitude regarding the extra-marital lover in that time. If you come up with any bombshells in this area, please share.

smee2

[smee2]

Tiff I like this post but I wonder what was your reason for it!!! I say this because you don't really care for men, you have made it very clear on here!!! If I'm wrong then make your self very clear.....I've read many post where on other girls page on here where you stated you like girls.......... and guys don't get the hint, so please explain your self, thanks in advance....I always wanted to know the questons i asked you!!! Thanks again...

It seems obvious that you don't understand about gender preferrence, which does not mean that the gender you don't prefer is hated or not cared for, it is just not part of a person's sexual life. Generally Lesbians do not dislike men and *** Men do not dislike women. Those are stereotypes that make it easier to spot the ***** on TV and in movies. (Note: I have permission from the *** people I know to use that word in this kind of instance, so please don't land on me for using non-pc language. It fits and makes a point.)

Also you don't understand the reason for her post ... as you mentioned in your first line. Tiff is an inquisitive person, who enjoys exploring such things as psychological questions to the whys and wherefors of men, women, children, societies and cultures. She has made that clear with her various posts. I sometimes think of her as a young and intensive copy of Margaret Mead.

She parses the variables in relationships. She obviously reads enough to give her early wrinkles and comes here with questions to get answers from a random sampling of us ... forum members. Watch out though ... she could be, with our answers and comments, be forming psychological profiles of us. Hmmmmm.

smee2

,

[jon29]

It seems obvious that you don't understand about gender preferrence, which does not mean that the gender you don't prefer is hated or not cared for, it is just not part of a person's sexual life. Generally Lesbians do not dislike men and *** Men do not dislike women. Those are stereotypes that make it easier to spot the ***** on TV and in movies. (Note: I have permission from the *** people I know to use that word in this kind of instance, so please don't land on me for using non-pc language. It fits and makes a point.)

Also you don't understand the reason for her post ... as you mentioned in your first line. Tiff is an inquisitive person, who enjoys exploring such things as psychological questions to the whys and wherefors of men, women, children, societies and cultures. She has made that clear with her various posts. I sometimes think of her as a young and intensive copy of Margaret Mead.

She parses the variables in relationships. She obviously reads enough to give her early wrinkles and comes here with questions to get answers from a random sampling of us ... forum members. Watch out though ... she could be, with our answers and comments, be forming psychological profiles of us. Hmmmmm.

smee2

Yes, I agree, from what I've observed, she seems to enjoy the exploration of views and ideas on various topics. Nothing wrong with that, the learning curve is a lifelong process.

,

OK, for whatever f'ed-up reason, my one line comment was at the end of Smee's response in the box above....about the "exploration of views and ideas". sorry for the mistake folks.

[FlintNPebbles]

Tiff ... another good question. and I may be able to shock you a little here.

I was married twice. The first time lasted five and a half months. The second one lasted 34 years, and the anniversary of Neil's death will be a week tomorrow.

In the time in between first husband and soul mate, the husband I was meant to have, I was "the other woman" ... twice. Why?

An attached man is safer. The situation is usually simpler in reality than marriage or other attachments. How?

Well, for starters he doesn't expect you to cook, clean, and pick up his dirty socks. You are not expected to bear his children, placate a mother-in-law, or be that other part of him ... the little woman.

Provided the other woman is discrete and responsible and follows whatever "rules" make the man feel comfortable and safe, then the other woman ... me ... is in charge of basically everything. This only works if the man in the picture really trusts the other woman.

I had absolutely no feeling of guilt either. Each of the men for whom I was the other woman, had tried to make their marriage a mutually satisfying and at least content arrangement. In each case, however, it was the wife who was making life miserable ... for both of them.

I can tell you that one of the men I shared with a wife was an older man, with a wife who was suffering alzheimers, most often did not remember who he was and why he was preparing dinner and asking her to come to the table and eat with him. He put up with this for years before we found each other. And it wasn't that he was looking. It was a mutual realization that he had some needs, and I do not mean just sex, but companionship, preferrably with someone who remembered his name, and laughter. His wife could no longer give him this. I met her, and her sister. I learned enough about the family to know that there are special cases where a man is really not cheating when his wife really doesn't even remember. But for those time when she would get a glimpse and remember for a short while, was it really fair for her to suddenly remember him and the first question out of her mouth would be "Why did you divorce me?" No, that would hurt.

Anyway for the other man it was more along the lines of adventure, the easing of massive boredom and no excitement or even changes in their lives, the seventeen year itch ... I met him on the day of their seventeenth anniverwary. If his wife had paid even half the attention to him that she expected him to pay to her, I think they could have made it work. But it never did. Even after we parted ways and eventually I married again, he was still unhappy and so was his wife.

So, the main attraction to the "other woman" and the "other man" scenario would be, in my experience, safety. Having decided that your life is missing something, be it physical, or mental, or emotional, and then having decided to do something about it, the only hurdle to cross really is how to do it safely.

Some may think that a man, or a woman, who plays around, is just an awful person. And maybe some are just that. But I met many men who were really not looking to hurt their wives, but more interested in finding a little compantionship, and laughter, with another woman, someone who was not going to nag them or ignore them or do things that hurt their feelings without even taking any care of what they do or say and have no concern about what it might do to their relationship. I find it difficult to explain and I think it would take face-to-face over several cups of hot chocolate to even come close.

But your interesting question is just the beginning of this subject, and all the turns and twists it can take. Many years ago Psychology Today, the magazine, had a write up on the other person syndrome. It was a good piece. But it was flawwed. Once psychologists started pulling the subject apart, and adding input from anthropologists on such specialist areas as fidelity to family, clan, and tribe, and how it all works within the societal structure to ensure healthy development not only of the physical attributes of children but the emotional stability of the group, the scientists doing the studies ,and then producing the publication, realized they were a little off centre on this one. I suspect as we learn even more, as men and women find even more that they can open up and answer questions truthfully, without fear or shame or guilt, we might just see another level built.

From the beginning of recorded history there has been the other woman ... the mistress. Usually the upper class of society, the nobility, and the upper echelons of the military, were allowed such without censure provided there was discretion in the relationship.

From then until now perhaps most of the reasons for men and women to be in an intimate relationship outside of the bounds of marriage have remained the same. But with the advancements and changes in life styles, surely there have been parallel changes of attitude regarding the extra-marital lover in that time. If you come up with any bombshells in this area, please share.

smee2

Sorry Smee2....I usually agree with your posts 100% but in this case I just can't. The statement about how both of the men you were the other woman for tried to make their marriage work....really? How? Did they seek counseling? Did they have a clear sit down and talk with their wives?

In the case of the husband with the wife with alzheimers....sure men have needs. So do women..but part of being in a marriage is adjusting those needs to your spouse. I have a great friend who was married 50 years. His wife died from Alzheimers 2 years ago. He spent the last 3 years of her life barely leaving her side and when he needed to go out he would have a nurse come on to take care of her. He is financially able to have put her in a nursing home and visited when he could. But love and commitment kept him faithful until death do us part.

As far as the other guy...I am sorry...if he was unhappy in his marriage...just leave. I know easier said than done but life is to short and if you have tried everything to make your marriage work then leave it and find happiness. In my opinion, he was weak.

It's easier to blame the wife.

My marriage was not perfect. My ex spent a LOT of time and money in the bar. He would get off work and "network" at the bar. He is a salesman. Spent about a 1/3 of our take home pay in the bar. We were married 10 years. I would get off work, pick up our son from daycare, get home and feed the horses and the cattle. Make dinner, feed myself and my son, get my son ready for bed and we would be in bed for hours before he would be done networking at the bar and come home. We had MANY discussions about this. He would agree that his drinking was getting out of control and he would stop....but never did. He would give me a "present" for my birthday or whatever and tell me that he was going to stop drinking...and be drunk by nightfall.

But....the people at the bar thought I was a witch. As he intended that they would. The bar owner would call me and ask me if it was okay for him to bring my ex home...would I allow my ex in the house? In all the years I was married...not one time did I ever lock the door to keep him out. Not once did I tell him not to come home. Not once did I *itch at him.

But in all the years I was married I can hardly remember how many people would comment about how they had no idea he was married until they met me.

My self confidence took a big beating being married to him. I am a nice person. People like me. I like people.

My ex was messing around and still every day he would tell me he loved me. That he couldn't imagine life without me. That he was so grateful that I had come into his life. Up until the very day he told me that he had been seeing this other woman.

And what did he tell the woman who "poached" him? That I was a *itch. That I wouldn't allow him to do anything. That I was the one messing around. Really...I was the one getting his horse ready so he could just load him in the trailer and drive 50 miles (to where she lived) and practice his team roping. Since our son was only 3, I only went with him every once in awhile...and he went 2 times a week.

Sure...I agree...sometimes it is the wives who won't try to make things better for their husbands...but then stand up for yourself and do something. If the wife doesn't want to try counseling or some other marriage saving technique...then separate. Don't cheat. In that case...really no one is a winner.

I do understand why women do become the "other woman". It is easier than dealing with a real relationship and all the struggles. But even when I was single after I was divorced...not ONE time did I go out with someone who was even casually dating someone. There are plenty of nice single men. If I was dating someone and I didn't like where it was going I broke it off. I had a few 2 or 3 month relationships.

Sorry.....didn't mean to get on my high horse....but this has been one of those topics that I have been passionate about even before I was married the first time.

[Luigi1]

We must be getting close to the RV. Women are begining to come out of the woodwork. They know who has IQD.

[Shabibilicious]

It never ceases to amaze me, that someone would chose to dedicate themselves to a cheater. And then act surprised when the relationship fails. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

GO RV, then BV

[Bull Dog]

My Mom once told my old man, "you can look but you can't touch". I will be married 34 years this month and have never been happier. I usually don't even both looking, more important things to worry about like my grandson.

[VIZIOIRAQI]

Oooh! bad karma. Today you steal someone's man, tomorrow someone else comes to steal yours

Thats exactly Right! You plant a seed and it will bare fruit even with bad things , so what type of fruit do you want to grow in your life ? Joy or Pain :lol:

[RodandStaff]

When asked why they were particularly attracted to attached men, single women responded:

- "Revenge - what goes around comes around"

- "To see if I can - I love a good challenge"

- "It's exciting - you're in the hunt"

- "Because I can - and once I do, it's an ego boost"

- "Because he's already been tested - he's pre-approved"

Real sweethearts, huh?

Remember - 90%!

Don't you just want to yell: "Go find your own relationship."

Bottom line: research has revealed that poachers rate low in reliability, low in good-heartedness, and low in relationship fidelity.

Interesting the motives used in this article... and I wonder why a warning light doesn't go off in these gals heads? It's like their setting themselves up for a train wreck.

My honey and I have been married for 32 years now (I was married when I was oooohhh around 8 or so ).

I am a normal red blooded American male, but I have never forgotten the response that a retired military man gave one lady at work early on in my marriage. The woman asked this man... "haven't you ever been tempted"? His response... "of course, but then I realized that one woman is a handful, two woman?... no way I can handle that!!!" So I have taken that to heart.

I like the term... "Rejoice in the wife of your youth". Yup, 32 years and we still enjoy each others company and affection... and I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, I feel sorry for the ones who seem to want to enjoy themselves in the shallow end of the pool. I have learned that it's deep commitment that really makes love last.

Thanks Tiffany for always keeping us thinking!

Edited January 12, 2012 by RodandStaff

[wealthhound]

Women And Mate Poaching

Published on January 10, 2012 by John R. Buri, Ph.D. in Love Bytes

Are you currently in love?

Let me ask you --- how interested would an unattached female be in poaching your current love interest?

Or putting the shoe on the other foot, if you are not currently in a relationship, how interested would you be in poaching another woman's boyfriend?

It turns out that single women are particularly interested in men who are already in a committed relationship --- they seem to have a distinct preference for mate poaching (much more so than single men).

When presented bio information along with a photo of a relatively attractive man, fewer than 60% of the women surveyed were interested in pursuing this man if he was NOT currently attached.

But if this man was already in a committed romantic relationship, 90% of the single women expressed a strong desire to pursue him.

90%!

[bTW: There was not a similar preference among men for attached women over unattached ones.]

Women --- hang onto your man. There is a good chance that someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to snag him.

When asked why they were particularly attracted to attached men, single women responded:

- "Revenge - what goes around comes around"

- "To see if I can - I love a good challenge"

- "It's exciting - you're in the hunt"

- "Because I can - and once I do, it's an ego boost"

- "Because he's already been tested - he's pre-approved"

Real sweethearts, huh?

Remember - 90%!

Don't you just want to yell: "Go find your own relationship."

Bottom line: research has revealed that poachers rate low in reliability, low in good-heartedness, and low in relationship fidelity.

So if you are looking for a temporary burst of excitement that might also stroke your ego, go ahead - screw over some unsuspecting woman who is already in a relationship. After all, isn't that what she deserves if she is that naïve?

But if you are looking for a stable, healthy, long-term love relationship, be forewarned --- if you poached your man to begin with, guess what - if you were able to poach him, then there is a good chance that he is poachable again.

References:

"Who's Chasing Whom?" by Jessica Parker and Melissa Burkley (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2009, 45, pp. 1016-1019).

"Sex Differences in Perceptions of Benefits and Costs of Mate Poaching" by Alastair Davies, Todd Shackelford, & Glen Hass (Personality and Individual Differences, 2010, 49, pp. 441-445).

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-bytes/201201/women-and-mate-poaching

Tiffany, WOW, unbelievable!!!

My husband has always said that men are just dogs when it comes to sex, That's his opinion...

I think the greater problem with lots of peeps is that the institution of marriage has been severely screwed by society...my opinion on why this is so is that marriage ( according to Christian belief) is the foundation of the family...Men today are not respected by their wives, not treated as the head of the family, basicallt castrated...as well as the opposite by the men.

If we took appropriate care of our spouses this would not be such an issue, and I am and will continue to be in training in this department. To many people don't want to put the work in a relationship to make it work. Society has made it very easy, I have heard people say, if it doesn't work out, I'll just get a divorce!!!IMO what an attitude. I am not speaking of situation where there is abuse,and the like. I am speaking of relationships where the parties just don't want to work at it. We know men and women are very different thinkers, but God made, formed and created us to bring out the best in each of us.And I am NOT saying that men and women should not be treated equally, they should, I am speaking from a spiritual perspective here.If a man or woman is constantly berated my their spouse and their needs are not met in the marriage then they will stray, and from what I understand about men and woman is that a man will look for his physical needs to be met, if not done in the marriage, and a woman will look to get her emotional needs met.

Oh boy, I am on a soap box, I should of studied human phycology, I find it fascinating. Tif, you are a beautiful young lady, go save your proprinquity..( your area of influence in this world!!!

I love this subject, I could go on and on....so, what's next? What are your thoughts, I would love to hear from the guys!

I hope I am not just rambling on here....

Interesting the motives used in this article... and I wonder why a warning light doesn't go off in these gals heads? It's like their setting themselves up for a train wreck.

My honey and I have been married for 32 years now (I was married when I was oooohhh around 8 or so ).

I am a normal red blooded American male, but I have never forgotten the response that a retired military man gave one lady at work early on in my marriage. The woman asked this man... "haven't you ever been tempted"? His response... "of course, but then I realized that one woman is a handful, two woman?... no way I can handle that!!!" So I have taken that to heart.

I like the term... "Rejoice in the wife of your youth". Yup, 32 years and we still enjoy each others company and affection... and I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, I feel sorry for the ones who seem to want to enjoy themselves in the shallow end of the pool. I have learned that it's deep commitment that really makes love last.

Thanks Tiffany for always keeping us thinking!

Hey Rodandstaff,

If I was a poaching gal, you are the kind of guy I'd seek!!

[Elixirbaby]

You've got a long line at your front door.

I'm still trying to sneak in the back.

I'll make sure it's ulocked for you.

[pattyangel]

"institution of marriage has been severely screwed by society" I agree.

We've allow Satan to come into our Marriage bed.

The deep love that we have for God should be the best example of love we should have for our spouses.

God gave us the gift of desire... to be shared with one. My desires belong to my spouse alone and his desires are mine alone.

When we don't believe that God really wants to grant us the desires of our hearts, we in turn deny His gifts...and grasp at what we desire for ourselves.

We are a life-giving "gift" to one another. Married 35 years.

[wealthhound]

Tiff, men get to emotion through sex....... women get to sex through emotion. Guys that understand this "can" have a lot of fun:)

Mak63

Mak, I like how you stated that, something to think about, and I do believe you hit the nail on the head ( the one above your neck!)

"institution of marriage has been severely screwed by society" I agree.

We've allow Satan to come into our Marriage bed.

The deep love that we have for God should be the best example of love we should have for our spouses.

God gave us the gift of desire... to be shared with one. My desires belong to my spouse alone and his desires are mine alone.

When we don't believe that God really wants to grant us the desires of our hearts, we in turn deny His gifts...and grasp at what we desire for ourselves.

We are a life-giving "gift" to one another. Married 35 years.

Beautiful and so true!!!

Satan is the author of this, I absolutely knoe this to be true!

[nostradamus]

Tiffany,

This topic is understandably stirring up the bee hive.

"This article states, “But if this man was already in a committed romantic relationship, 90% of the single women expressed a strong desire to pursue him.” Does this mean that they would actually do it? That’s debatable."

It's not 90% that would pursue, more like about 50/50 with a +- 10 degree variance based on level of alcohol consumption.

[Tiffany23]

Wow…what a variety of responses. And yes, I love diving into the human psyche….death, betrayal, war…all the good stuff.

As some of you know, I spent 4 years of my life working as a waitress at a Gentleman’s Club…one in Canada and one in Colorado, while attending college. We had a variety of customers, but during the different shifts, you normally ran into two distinctively different types.

During the night, usually young guys that thought a strip club was a prostitute haven and they could get “lucky” if they just looked good and maybe flashed some cash. They seldom got luck.

However, during the day, we would get the “mid-lifers”, usually +40 customers, successful, married and very lonely. Smee’s insight mirrors their lives perfectly (how does she know so much!!!). They were successful businessmen or professionals (lots of lawyers and doctors) but the one place they weren’t successful was at home. Their lives were empty. Their wives, while loving, seldom listen to them or were appreciate when they bought them that new lexus…as they had grown complacent with their lifestyle.

These men would show up each week, like clock work….and be absolutely swarmed with pretty young things. Many of them told me they felt like the “high school quarterback” when they entered this “Cheers” atmosphere. They were someone…like reliving their glory days…or how they wished they would have been. And the money flowed…everyone was happy…the girls made money, the guys were shown a LOT of attention …and as they became “regulars” they got their pick of pretty girls and could pretty much take part in any activity they wanted in or out of the club.

I don't see it as Satan work...I see it as human beings doing what makes them feel good...especially wanted. That's not all bad, you know.

Tampa...I think Smee answered your question perfectly. Just because I prefer an "alternate lifestyle" doesn’t mean that I hate guys. Far from it, in fact some of my best friends on this site are older Gents that I’m very fond of.

Friendship has no restrictions…it just IS!

[Dah-kota]

I'll make sure it's ulocked for you.

Thanx baby...do I need to know a *Code Word* ?

[cooked]

Women And Mate Poaching

Published on January 10, 2012 by John R. Buri, Ph.D. in Love Bytes

Are you currently in love?

Let me ask you --- how interested would an unattached female be in poaching your current love interest?

Or putting the shoe on the other foot, if you are not currently in a relationship, how interested would you be in poaching another woman's boyfriend?

It turns out that single women are particularly interested in men who are already in a committed relationship --- they seem to have a distinct preference for mate poaching (much more so than single men).

When presented bio information along with a photo of a relatively attractive man, fewer than 60% of the women surveyed were interested in pursuing this man if he was NOT currently attached.

But if this man was already in a committed romantic relationship, 90% of the single women expressed a strong desire to pursue him.

90%!

[bTW: There was not a similar preference among men for attached women over unattached ones.]

Women --- hang onto your man. There is a good chance that someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to snag him.

When asked why they were particularly attracted to attached men, single women responded:

- "Revenge - what goes around comes around"

- "To see if I can - I love a good challenge"

- "It's exciting - you're in the hunt"

- "Because I can - and once I do, it's an ego boost"

- "Because he's already been tested - he's pre-approved"

Real sweethearts, huh?

Remember - 90%!

Don't you just want to yell: "Go find your own relationship."

Bottom line: research has revealed that poachers rate low in reliability, low in good-heartedness, and low in relationship fidelity.

So if you are looking for a temporary burst of excitement that might also stroke your ego, go ahead - screw over some unsuspecting woman who is already in a relationship. After all, isn't that what she deserves if she is that naïve?

But if you are looking for a stable, healthy, long-term love relationship, be forewarned --- if you poached your man to begin with, guess what - if you were able to poach him, then there is a good chance that he is poachable again.

References:

"Who's Chasing Whom?" by Jessica Parker and Melissa Burkley (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2009, 45, pp. 1016-1019).

"Sex Differences in Perceptions of Benefits and Costs of Mate Poaching" by Alastair Davies, Todd Shackelford, & Glen Hass (Personality and Individual Differences, 2010, 49, pp. 441-445).

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-bytes/201201/women-and-mate-poaching

Makes me want to yell.......................I'm Married.

[Elixirbaby]

Thanx baby...do I need to know a *Code Word* ?

To gain access, ask the person at the door , "Can I leave my hat on?"

[Tiffany23]

To gain access, ask the person at the door , "Can I leave my hat on?"

Gee Wiz..you two...get a room!

[Dah-kota]

To gain access, ask the person at the door , "Can I leave my hat on?"

Gotcha NOW !

Edited January 12, 2012 by Dah-kota

[pkwood]

Good for you Smee2? Personally, having been on the other end of the adultery, it hurts so much!! I'm not going into details but I love my ex and always will. We have three sons between us, one who died, but nothing is set in stone in marriage. I gave my ex two guy trips a year, he met his buddies often after work while I took care of the boys. Now he has a much younger wife, (whom we both met when his dad went to the ER as she was his doctor) So he has a 22 year old, 20 year old and 4 week old. Way to go OLD MAN!!