Would You Marry Again?

[WorkerBee]

Currently in the 26th year on my first and only marriage. I cannot imagine having to go through the "dating" process again. I love my husband but I also like him, alot. I guess it's the comfort of knowing he loves you inspite of your flaws and vice versa. Hope all you singles find that one special person you can be comfortable with while still being your "real" self.

[easyrider]

ahh marriage when back in the day it was actually of value and benficial to both parties now adays sadly the system is very corrupt and its way too easy to get a divorce. I must admit i dont really ever wanna get married but of course i wanna find true love again i was engaged previously to my ex for 6 months and was in a five year relationship and we didnt go through with it simply because it didnt seem right at the time do i regret not going through with it? absolutely NOT, i knew it would have been disasterous and more than likely ended up in divorce. In these present times i just dont see marriage as what it used to be sorry to be a downer but just my views so i hope to find someone i can cherish and be with for a lifetime and be faithful to but without the paperwork and being just another dummy in the system.

If religion doesnt define you to have a relationship with Christ, why is it so important? a relationship with the lord is about loving him and having faith and not being brought down by religion

should the court system define your love for your spouse? i dont think so yet some DO which i will never understand i do understand the vow part about taking oath to that someone but what if they arent religious and you arent then does the vows really matter anymore?

Edited February 16, 2012 by easyrider

[umbertino]

Yes, the spelling is correct. From an old lesson I used to teach at an adolescent drug/alcohol rehab...Broken Picker = making poor choices in selecting a boyfriend/girlfriend...in my case, two wives.

And I certainly know what you're talking about having been myself married twice.....I still have a lot of love to give ( and I'm currently in love with someone) but personally , after my own experience I don't think marriage and love have much in common....I respect those who still think that marriage is the only way to show seriousness when it comes to love... I simply do not think so anymore....One can have a fantastic relationship and a very serious one also without marriage .. It's only up to the Individuals involved... A marriage is not a guarantee of anything... Of course jmho.

[techalum]

I would never marry again. There is no one in this world that could take the place of my wife.

[skitealwedrop]

ahh marriage when back in the day it was actually of value and benficial to both parties now adays sadly the system is very corrupt and its way too easy to get a divorce. I must admit i dont really ever wanna get married but of course i wanna find true love again i was engaged previously to my ex for 6 months and was in a five year relationship and we didnt go through with it simply because it didnt seem right at the time do i regret not going through with it? absolutely NOT, i knew it would have been disasterous and more than likely ended up in divorce. In these present times i just dont see marriage as what it used to be sorry to be a downer but just my views so i hope to find someone i can cherish and be with for a lifetime and be faithful to but without the paperwork and being just another dummy in the system.

If religion doesnt define you to have a relationship with Christ, why is it so important? a relationship with the lord is about loving him and having faith and not being brought down by religion

should the court system define your love for your spouse? i dont think so yet some DO which i will never understand i do understand the vow part about taking oath to that someone but what if they arent religious and you arent then does the vows really matter anymore?

Your post is dead on. I don't need a piece of paper and the courts to define my relationship with the man I choose to be with. Thanks for your words, they are validating.

[Shinnidan]

me don't mean to sound like a Beach ....after me two episode were completed....

me kinda felt like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sRYp9Q9w_c

Nuff said! bwhahahaha

[cslewis]

And I certainly know what you're talking about having been myself married twice.....I still have a lot of love to give ( and I'm currently in love with someone) but personally , after my own experience I don't think marriage and love have much in common....I respect those who still think that marriage is the only way to show seriousness when it comes to love... I simply do not think so anymore....One can have a fantastic relationship and a very serious one also without marriage .. It's only up to the Individuals involved... A marriage is not a guarantee of anything... Of course jmho.

+1 Umbertino...I regret that my marriage to my second wife ended before forver more...like you stated, "not a guarantee of aything"...now I am just looking for the forever more...

May we all be blessed in love again.

[easyrider]

+1 Umbertino...I regret that my marriage to my second wife ended before forver more...like you stated, "not a guarantee of aything"...now I am just looking for the forever more...

May we all be blessed in love again.

absolutely i agree everyone deserves love but i am NOT a BIG supporter in marriage in these present times but i am also not against it at all neither, just not a supporter.

[umbertino]

+1 Umbertino...I regret that my marriage to my second wife ended before forver more...like you stated, "not a guarantee of aything"...now I am just looking for the forever more...

May we all be blessed in love again.

And blessed we will be, my Friend....

[Goldiegirl]

Oh I defintely believe in love. I just think (as one member put it) institution ruins it. Nasty word.... makes it sound like a prison.

I think we live and learn in love and I believe it's your greatest work to give yourself in love. That's how you find out who you are.

Goldiegirl

[Elixirbaby]

That's the spirit! Don't give up, remember there is someone for everyone!

BTW, I didn't realize there are so many singles, here at DV. Hmmm...an after "RV" party could get interesting! Haha

Just remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

[smee2]

Been there and done that ... remarried once already.

First husband (marriage) lasted a very difficult and painful five and a half months.

Three years later, having found what I thought was true love I was content that we lived together. But he went and spoiled that by making a proposal that was so completely romantic and charming and it was obvious how serious he was and darn it all but I had to say yes. That marriage lasted 34 years until he died in a plane crash two years ago. But in my heart and mind I am still married to him. (Married to a box of ashes ... now that is sick!) But had he not died we would be on 36 years by now.

So, would I marry again. No. If I were to find companionship, and understanding, and someone who liked to cuddle ... I would take all he had to offer and try to repay in kind. But I would not marry again. I am too old to care about what anyone would think and really, marriage isn't for the couple, it is for their families and society in general. Neil and I would have been happy to live out these 34 years without a marriage, but that piece of paper made it all okay with the family. So, at this point that piece of paper is not important to me. The gift of closeness is what matters now. I doubt I'll find it though, 'cause I am not looking. I am satisfied to have had a marriage that was so complete in so many ways that it could not be matched no matter what. Why dislodge those memories for someone I might, at the most, have a few years with?

Thanks for posting this. I think it makes us all think for a moment about our own relationships and where they have been, where they are going, and where they are now. It is good to review that every once in a while.

smee2

[willy1der]

Been there and done that ... remarried once already.

First husband (marriage) lasted a very difficult and painful five and a half months.

Three years later, having found what I thought was true love I was content that we lived together. But he went and spoiled that by making a proposal that was so completely romantic and charming and it was obvious how serious he was and darn it all but I had to say yes. That marriage lasted 34 years until he died in a plane crash two years ago. But in my heart and mind I am still married to him. (Married to a box of ashes ... now that is sick!) But had he not died we would be on 36 years by now.

So, would I marry again. No. If I were to find companionship, and understanding, and someone who liked to cuddle ... I would take all he had to offer and try to repay in kind. But I would not marry again. I am too old to care about what anyone would think and really, marriage isn't for the couple, it is for their families and society in general. Neil and I would have been happy to live out these 34 years without a marriage, but that piece of paper made it all okay with the family. So, at this point that piece of paper is not important to me. The gift of closeness is what matters now. I doubt I'll find it though, 'cause I am not looking. I am satisfied to have had a marriage that was so complete in so many ways that it could not be matched no matter what. Why dislodge those memories for someone I might, at the most, have a few years with?

Thanks for posting this. I think it makes us all think for a moment about our own relationships and where they have been, where they are going, and where they are now. It is good to review that every once in a while.

smee2

darn smee, you mean if I batted my baby blues and palyed the guitar (I can't play), and what ever else you're supposed to do you wouldn't even consider it? I love contankerous ole farts, I mean mature women that know what they want. What if I had my grandson ask you for me, he has beautiful strawberry blonde hair, green eyes and is so captivating that the ladies in line at walmarts buy him things. All kidding aside smee, I've been married and divorced and have been single for 18 years and love my freedom. My friends ask me why I haven't remarried and I tell them because God is merciful, he really loves those single women out there.

God bless!

[smee2]

darn smee, you mean if I batted my baby blues and palyed the guitar (I can't play), and what ever else you're supposed to do you wouldn't even consider it? I love contankerous ole farts, I mean mature women that know what they want. What if I had my grandson ask you for me, he has beautiful strawberry blonde hair, green eyes and is so captivating that the ladies in line at walmarts buy him things. All kidding aside smee, I've been married and divorced and have been single for 18 years and love my freedom. My friends ask me why I haven't remarried and I tell them because God is merciful, he really loves those single women out there.

God bless!

Hahahahahahaha! You could bat your baby-blues all you wanted, and no, it would not sway me. And how did you know I was a contankerous ole fart? hahahahaha.

Seriously, having been married, and having found your "freedom", you may be one of those chosen few who have found that marriage isn't for eveyone, contrary to what a lot of people believe. I think we are brainwashed from the first year in school to expect certain roles as we mature.

Little girls are taught to dress their dolls in wedding dresses, and then they play with baby dolls, and then eventually they glom onto a Barbie, who is obviously not married to Ken, most likely sleeps around as she wishes, spend inordinate amounts of money on her wardrobe and how she looks. With all that training what else is a little girl going to do but get married, produce babies, and then later get divorced, have a boob job, get a job so they can afford the wardrobe and start seeing men like Ken.

Little boys, on the other hand, are taught to play with fire engines, police cars, construction sets from Lego to Mechano, given games that teach him the intricacies of sighting and shooting at bad guys and then enemy soldiers. What can we expect from them but to grow up thinking a man has to have a job to support his wife and kids, be ready to fight the good fight, with no mention of tenderness towards his family, just duty.

So, marriage is part of what is programmed into us at a very early age. My husband and I never needed the piece of paper that said we were supposed to stay together. We never had children. We were much closer than most married people and were, first last and always, the very closest of friends. Our marriage was the result, really, of family attitudes that we were ... *gasp* living together ... ew!

So, go ahead and bat those baby blues, and don't worry about not playing the guitar. If you can cuddle you are perfect just as you are and to my mind anyway, not a candidate for a husband. The freedom you have now is ... well ... it is a good thing. You can be yourself more than you could before, which I am sure you have found out.

smee2

[willy1der]

Hahahahahahaha! You could bat your baby-blues all you wanted, and no, it would not sway me. And how did you know I was a contankerous ole fart? hahahahaha.

Seriously, having been married, and having found your "freedom", you may be one of those chosen few who have found that marriage isn't for eveyone, contrary to what a lot of people believe. I think we are brainwashed from the first year in school to expect certain roles as we mature.

Little girls are taught to dress their dolls in wedding dresses, and then they play with baby dolls, and then eventually they glom onto a Barbie, who is obviously not married to Ken, most likely sleeps around as she wishes, spend inordinate amounts of money on her wardrobe and how she looks. With all that training what else is a little girl going to do but get married, produce babies, and then later get divorced, have a boob job, get a job so they can afford the wardrobe and start seeing men like Ken.

Little boys, on the other hand, are taught to play with fire engines, police cars, construction sets from Lego to Mechano, given games that teach him the intricacies of sighting and shooting at bad guys and then enemy soldiers. What can we expect from them but to grow up thinking a man has to have a job to support his wife and kids, be ready to fight the good fight, with no mention of tenderness towards his family, just duty.

So, marriage is part of what is programmed into us at a very early age. My husband and I never needed the piece of paper that said we were supposed to stay together. We never had children. We were much closer than most married people and were, first last and always, the very closest of friends. Our marriage was the result, really, of family attitudes that we were ... *gasp* living together ... ew!

So, go ahead and bat those baby blues, and don't worry about not playing the guitar. If you can cuddle you are perfect just as you are and to my mind anyway, not a candidate for a husband. The freedom you have now is ... well ... it is a good thing. You can be yourself more than you could before, which I am sure you have found out.

smee2

Thanks for not crushing me Smee! You're right about the freedom. I come and go as I please, if I choose to work in Alaska it's not a burden on anyone/ Same with going overseas. Although I do love to cuddle next to a warm fire watching a good movie.

God bless you.

P.S. I do lift you up in prayer on a regular basis, just want you to know that God has laid you on my heart to pray for strength!

[aliciadogz]

I wish I could ,but ,it's kinda hard to find guys that like dogz and its not all about them.I'm going to say no.

[Danan]

Smee I think you wrote the most beautiful replies. I totally agree with you. I love my husband and we have been together for 35 years, he was my second marriage and I have made some mistakes, mostly by trying not to argue and rock the boat. He does so much for me and has from day one, I had two children when I married him and he is their Dad. Together we had a son and you would never know that they aren't his. Unfortunately, in the 70's one always heard, if you find a man that will take children that aren't his, you should be grateful. I listened to that crud and ended up not taking a firmer stand in our marriage. So, after 35 years and loving him, I don't think that we are friends. And that I regret. I wish that I had what you had. So, would I remarry, No.

[Nelg]

Ok. Didn't think I would post, but here goes.

My wife and I have had nearly fifty years of complete love and companionship. When I made my choice the first time, it was they correct one. We have traveled together to most parts of the world, but now she cannot make the long trips. The only way I would have an opportunity to marry again is if my "wif" (I can spell, but this is what I call her.) were to pass. I would decline the opportunity. I have had my lasting and life-time love, and truthfully, I don't want to add to those memories; I would just want to cherish her memory.

[Francie26]

The first time was not happy, but we made it through until our children were grown. I didn't intend to marry again, but I met Jim, and that's when I learned what love could really be. He's gone now, but at least I know what to look for the next time, and when I find it, I will cherish it as long as we are both alive.

[wealthhound]

ahh marriage when back in the day it was actually of value and benficial to both parties now adays sadly the system is very corrupt and its way too easy to get a divorce. I must admit i dont really ever wanna get married but of course i wanna find true love again i was engaged previously to my ex for 6 months and was in a five year relationship and we didnt go through with it simply because it didnt seem right at the time do i regret not going through with it? absolutely NOT, i knew it would have been disasterous and more than likely ended up in divorce. In these present times i just dont see marriage as what it used to be sorry to be a downer but just my views so i hope to find someone i can cherish and be with for a lifetime and be faithful to but without the paperwork and being just another dummy in the system.

If religion doesnt define you to have a relationship with Christ, why is it so important? a relationship with the lord is about loving him and having faith and not being brought down by religion

should the court system define your love for your spouse? i dont think so yet some DO which i will never understand i do understand the vow part about taking oath to that someone but what if they arent religious and you arent then does the vows really matter anymore?

Hey easy,

I hear what you are saying but, as long as you and the love of your life would believe marriage to be "of value and beneficial to both parties"... who cares how anybody else thinks of "the institution"?...

I think(and maybe this was a thought you had) that lots of people DO get married and have the mindset that if it doesn't work out I'll just get a divorce, clearly, that statement from someone would give a big clue, they had no COMMITMENT...

My belief, is that when you make that vow and commitment one would do everything possible to make it work (of course not in abuse situations and the like)..you are right ...people seem to give up to easily anymore, they do not hold marriage as the SACRED VOW that it used to be...I really do think making the commitment legal(marriage) puts it in a different light.. i know a piece of paper doesn't necessarily cause one to be committed, but there is that legal piece that is there....

Anyway, I hope one day you will reconsider your position, we need good men like you to carry on the real meaning of the marriage!

[Rubberband King]

> A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife

> looks over at him and asks the question....

>

> WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married

> Again?"

>

> HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

>

> WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

>

> HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

>

> WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

>

> HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

>

> WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

>

> HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

>

> WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

>

> HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

>

> WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

>

> HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

>

> WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

>

> HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

>

> WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

>

> HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

>

> WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

>

> HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

>

> WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

>

> HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

>

> WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

>

> HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

>

> WIFE: --silence --

>

> HUSBAND: "****."

>

>

>

That's funny right there, I don't care you who are.

Leggo RV!

[KiaKaha]

I would marry Mr KK over & over again, but when the time comes for him to leave me behind (I keep telling him I'm going first, but he IS 10 years my senior) I will cherish our memories until we meet again. I'm married to my best friend & eternal companion, he can't be replaced.

KK

[BrokeNoMore]

Ha ha.

Not just NO but 'ELL NO!!!

It took me four tries to get this right. Now way am I gonna roll the dice again.

My picker is broken, and so is my truster.

[willy1der]

ahh marriage when back in the day it was actually of value and benficial to both parties now adays sadly the system is very corrupt and its way too easy to get a divorce. I must admit i dont really ever wanna get married but of course i wanna find true love again i was engaged previously to my ex for 6 months and was in a five year relationship and we didnt go through with it simply because it didnt seem right at the time do i regret not going through with it? absolutely NOT, i knew it would have been disasterous and more than likely ended up in divorce. In these present times i just dont see marriage as what it used to be sorry to be a downer but just my views so i hope to find someone i can cherish and be with for a lifetime and be faithful to but without the paperwork and being just another dummy in the system.

If religion doesnt define you to have a relationship with Christ, why is it so important? a relationship with the lord is about loving him and having faith and not being brought down by religion

should the court system define your love for your spouse? i dont think so yet some DO which i will never understand i do understand the vow part about taking oath to that someone but what if they arent religious and you arent then does the vows really matter anymore?

Hey easy, I know that you have professed Jesus as your Lord and Savior so you can't live like a married man and serve Jesus with all your heart, you know that. So please don't buy that lie brother.

Seek Godly counsel and ask her to as well.

Next thing is, and I probably don't have to tell you this but don't be unequally yoked to an unbeliever (we can't change anyone, only the spirit of God), talk about make life difficult for you and you don't have to be married to open up that can of worms.

One thing I would like to share with you and/or any other single person out there, make a list of what you would like in your marriage, then check it, if your list is what your spouse can do for you then you definitely aren't ready for marriage. Our list should be what we will do for our spouse. We should be others conscious but not codependent, codependency isn't healthy.

My list is made up of - first comes God and having a Godly home, then I list what I will do for my spouse to. I have a friend that mentioned to me that he is a student of his wifes needs, he is also mature enough to make sure he doesn't cross that line for codependency. I keep that in the back of my mind, I believe it is worth while.

I had a precious woman of God call me and ask if we could talk, so we did. She said she thought that I was the one she was to spend the rest of her life with. I asked her why and the first words out of her mouth was she was physically attracted to me. I told her I didn't believe it was God and she asked why, my response was: You are in the middle of a divorce, why do you think God is telling you anohter man is who you are to spend the rest of your life with, you made a vow with another man, yes he left you but you're still married. Next was that a physical attraction probably isn't God, not that it can't be but when your separated from your spouse it sounds to me like it's lust. She asked for forgiveness immediately. Emotions are an easy way to give place to satan.

I believe you marry to help fulfill God's calling on both of your lives. That's first and foremost. There are soul-ties that take place and can confuse people. When you have sex outside of marriage that is wrong, I've been taught that we need to place the blood of Jesus between us and the unhealthy soul-tie. Soul-ties can also be emotional and unhealthy as well. Apply the blood of Jesus between you and those soul-ties. I was ministering to a man and his wife, they were friends and the lady felt a connection between us. I knew that it wasn't a good place to be in. So I shut down ministering to her and recommended her and her husband seek counselling from their pastor. They did. I had a female boss that was having problems at home and came into my office one morning, closed the door and burst out crying, I let her cry and when she gathered her composure I explained to her that I was humbled that she thought of me as a man of God and came to cry on my shoulder but that I was the wrong person. I told her that people get into trouble because emotions can really mess up peoples ability to rationalize. I also explained that a married woman telling a single man about her and her husbands problems is only asking for trouble. There aretoo many folks that would take advantage of that situation. I suggested that she set an appointment to talk to her pastor and his wife. I never recommend counselling to or by the opposite sex, too much can happen. I have a friend that is a prophet, he was a womanizer prior to surrendering t othe Lord and felt he was called to minister to women that had been taken advantage of by men. I told him he reminded me of Lot, sit in the gates of Soddom and Gomorrah. Too many people think that their ministry is what God delivered them out of. I don't agree.

Getting back to soul-ties.

Easy, if a previous relationship has slanted your view of marriage then I would suggest taking it to God and asking him if you need to apply the blood of Jesus between you and that relationship. Too many people take a previous relationship in to the next relationship. We see something in the next person that reminds us of the person that hurt us and the next thing you know is the next person is catching flack for the previous person. I wouldn't want to hurt the next person and I wouldn't want to be on the other side either.

I hope I haven't over-stepped my boundaries Easy, if I have I'll have no problem asking for forgiveness.

God bless!

[typhoidfvr]

Been married 20 years myself since last November to my beautiful wife and best friend, but... ... I have never met I guy that started dating a girl with the first thought of, "I'm gonna marry that girl!". We usually begin a relationship looking for more of a physical nature. Spot a girl across a room and think, "Mmmm, mmm, Nice ring finger!"