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mrparrot last won the day on September 28 2010

mrparrot had the most liked content!

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About mrparrot

  • Rank
    Lopster Bait.
  • Birthday 02/20/1967

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Bottom of the Lopster Tank.
  • Interests
    Eating. Flying. Pooping on car windshields...


  • Location
    Poway, CA
  • Interests
    Exotic Parrots, Forex, & quality fermented beverages.

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15,080 profile views
  1. Confession time... I am the reason why we have not only been waiting for so long, but also why we will continue to wait. Allow me to explain. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. The moment I sell mine back to my broker, the RV will happen...
  2. For those of you who are ALWAYS late to everything, I have your "Get Out Of Jail Free" card... "The early bird may get the worm, but the SECOND mouse ALWAYS get the cheese.:. I'd rather have the cheese...
  3. Ya'll forgot to mention another good use for baking soda. ***puts on his Teachers Hat*** Got an ant problem? Baits don't work? Insecticides don't work? Windex not doing it? Flame thrower not doing it? That's because you're killing only the ones that you can SEE. You need to take out the nest AND the QUEEN. For those of you who fell asleep in Junior High Science Class, let's review the physiology of the ant, paying special attention to their digestive tract. The little buggers lack the ability to BURP. Would anyone like to guess where we're going here...? ***listens to the crickets because most of the class has fallen asleep*** OK, for the one person who is still awake, only because they're getting paid to take notes for the rest of the class... In a small bowl, mix a 50/50 blend of BAKING SODA and SUGAR. They will not only eat it, but will haul it back to the nest. And since they can't burp, the baking soda causes gases to build up in their little bodies until they burst like a ballon!!! Now I can't guarantee that if you put your ear to the ground, that you'll hear them popping like a roll of bubble wrap, but it will get the job done. CLASS DISMISSED!!! ***gets trampled as the herd runs for the door***
  4. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but someone is messing with you. Mr. Brando passed away 15 years ago... Born: April 3, 1924, Omaha, NE Died: July 1, 2004, Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, Los Angeles, CA
  5. Sensuous. Sensuous up, can you get me another beer?
  6. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 99.9%. It's called wedding cake....
  7. Perhaps this is a better list for your needs... Budgerigar — Also known as the Budgie, or Parakeet, this common little bird is capable of learning a large number of phrases and songs. Their voice tends to be low and not always defined, and males tend to train better than females. Monk Parakeet — Also called the Quaker Parakeet, this colorful little bird is actually a small parrot. They are known for being very clever and social, developing large vocabularies of phrases and words. Indian Ringneck — Very clever little birds, Indian Ringnecks can develop a large vocabulary, and speak very clearly in sentences. Not so much for mimicking the pitch of a human voice, they more often speak in their own bird voices, though they can carry the mood of the phrase. Eclectus — Known for being especially gender dimorphous -- the male is green and the female bright red -- this parrot is able to verbalize distinctly and mimic the tone and mood of language. While its capabilities are strong, these abilities depend entirely on training from an early age. Hill Myna — This pretty little black bird has an amazing capacity for mimicking human voices, with a varied range of pitch and tonality. I do hope this is the last time we'll have to address this subject. Bird poop can be rather difficult to remove from ones hair while one is enjoying a day at the park...
  9. Really? Again? Didn't we just have this conversation less than a month ago...? The next time you need an animal that starts with the letter p, could you PLEASE consult this list? Thank you. Pademelon Panther Patas Monkey Peacock Pekingese Pelican Penguin Persian Pheasant Pied Tamarin Pig Pika Pike Pink Fairy Armadillo Piranha Platypus Pointer Poison Dart Frog Polar Bear Pond Skater Poodle Pool Frog Porcupine Possum Prawn Proboscis Monkey Puffer Fish Puffin Pug Puma Purple Emperor Puss Moth Pygmy Hippopotamus Pygmy Marmoset
  10. The Numbers Do Not Lie... 1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen. 2) There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world; However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total, 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each. 3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels East to West. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chiminey, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chiminey, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most. 4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2. 5) 353,430 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now...
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