mrparrot

Kap...I think I heard someone tell someone else to start warming up the lobster tank. Don't know, but you might want to get your swimming trunks on! It's plenty warm in here as it is. That's why I stay in here...

I just got the One Week Badge, the One Month Badge, and the One Year Badge, and listed as a Newbie, but the profile says that I've been a member since 2009. So what's up???

Did you hear about the Nun and the Priest and the Donkey...? A young priest wanted to raise money for his church, and seeing that there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However , at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that the priest ended up buying a donkey. The priest figured that since he had the donkey anyway, he may as well go ahead and enter it in the races. Much to his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day the daily racing form carried the headline: "PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS." The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again the following day. This time the donkey won! The next day the racing form read: "PRIEST'S ASS OUT IN FRONT." The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he told the priest not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper headline that day read: "BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS." This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid of the animal at once. The priest decided to give it to the nearby convent. The headlines that afternoon read: "NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN." The bishop fainted! He informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey immediately. She found a farmer who was willing to buy the animal for $10. The next day the paper headlines stated: "NUN SELLS HER ASS FOR TEN BUCKS." They buried the bishop that afternoon, and on the day following the funeral the headlines read: "TOO MUCH ASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BISHOP'S DEATH."

I've been on this roller coaster ride for over a decade. I quit counting the months a long time ago. If it ever happens, great. If it never happens, oh well. I have zero opinions on how it could go. I just hang out in the Lopster Pot because it's warm in here, and I love seafood...

For the three of you that laughed at my post, congratulations on still having a sense of humor after all these years. For those of you who are experiencing a pinching, bunching, or tightening sensation in the panty area, please, enhance your calm. You're reading WAY TOO MUCH into my comment...

***crawls up to the edge of the Lopster Pot*** If it sounds too good to be true... ***crawls back down to the bottom of the Lopster Pot***

Did anyone pay attention to the first part...? Dear Client, Iraq signs with the U.S International Development Finance Corporation (DFC) a memorandum of understanding (MOU) to support the private sector in Iraq for $ 1bn over the next four years. Does this mean that Iraq gets to drag their backsides for another four years...?

Things have always been in motion. Backwards is a motion, too... 😄

Trump wants the country back to work by Easter. Iraq wants a government formed in two weeks. I'm surprised that Luigi hasn't put two and two together yet... 😄

Confession time... I am the reason why we have not only been waiting for so long, but also why we will continue to wait. Allow me to explain. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. The moment I sell mine back to my broker, the RV will happen...

For those of you who are ALWAYS late to everything, I have your "Get Out Of Jail Free" card... "The early bird may get the worm, but the SECOND mouse ALWAYS get the cheese.:. I'd rather have the cheese...

Ya'll forgot to mention another good use for baking soda. ***puts on his Teachers Hat*** Got an ant problem? Baits don't work? Insecticides don't work? Windex not doing it? Flame thrower not doing it? That's because you're killing only the ones that you can SEE. You need to take out the nest AND the QUEEN. For those of you who fell asleep in Junior High Science Class, let's review the physiology of the ant, paying special attention to their digestive tract. The little buggers lack the ability to BURP. Would anyone like to guess where we're going here...? ***listens to the crickets because most of the class has fallen asleep*** OK, for the one person who is still awake, only because they're getting paid to take notes for the rest of the class... In a small bowl, mix a 50/50 blend of BAKING SODA and SUGAR. They will not only eat it, but will haul it back to the nest. And since they can't burp, the baking soda causes gases to build up in their little bodies until they burst like a ballon!!! Now I can't guarantee that if you put your ear to the ground, that you'll hear them popping like a roll of bubble wrap, but it will get the job done. CLASS DISMISSED!!! ***gets trampled as the herd runs for the door***

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but someone is messing with you. Mr. Brando passed away 15 years ago... Born: April 3, 1924, Omaha, NE Died: July 1, 2004, Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, Los Angeles, CA

Sensuous. Sensuous up, can you get me another beer?

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 99.9%. It's called wedding cake....