THIS IS MY PASSION..............Mental Health & Substance Misuse....

[BETTYBOOP]

. Hi everyone. If you have chosen to enter this thread , then I thank you in advance for doing so. . I make no apologies for it being rather long , and thus it maybe better read in sections. Consider it to be something to "dip in and out off" for a wee while. Many of you reading this will know who I am through having read my previous posts, profile or any of the threads which were running when I was first hospitalised. I can not ever thank any of you enough for your kind thoughts prayers and good wishes. I was and still am still very grateful. You will also be aware that this came about because I was taken hostage by a patient. He physically assaulted me to the point where he almost killed me. All of these recent "events" in my life have given me a great deal of time to reflect on life and how I can return to my job eventually and make things better for people experiencing mental illness or substance misuse issues. I bare no malice towards this patient in anyway, shape or form. I do not wish him dead, hanged or anything else. If he was to be admitted to my ward again tomorrow and I was there he would still be looked after by me. I would not do anything different from what I had been doing. He would still be treated with dignity, respect and compassion despite this recent event.

You see despite the fact that he is NOT actually mentally unwell, according to Scottish Mental Health Law, he is a human being who has had a very troubled background. More importantly, I am a nurse. I am not there to be judge and jury , or to "police" him. I am there to do the best I can for his health needs.

Being a mental health nurse and alcohol and drug nurse specialist is my passion. THIS is what drives me, makes me get out of bed in the morning, let's me live and be very thankful for the life I have had with my amazing parents , brothers and sisters. It also makes me even mere thankful for the fact I can continue to live as I chose and that I have never had to go through the torment that many of these individuals have to endure. Anybody who is a member of this site and who works in health care will almost certainly tell you that there are times when if we don't manage to see a funny side to illness we would never do our jobs and would spend most of our lives crying. This does not mean that we do not have empathy or understanding for the patient and their family. It is just how we learn to cope.

When I first began my training (15 yrs ago) I was going to study general nursing. However, I changed courses half way through . I do not regret a day of making that choice. Sadly, society in general is "ignorant" of mental illness. Despite the media campaigns to "knock down" the barriers and assist society to accept these souls as full members of communities , the stigma often continues. Part of this is because people are very frightened by such illness. Many will automatically think psychopath or schizophrenic. But actually, simple things like obsessive compulsive disorder I'd classes as a mental illness. It is not "simple" for the person suffering it an often has a huge impact in their daily functioning it is not schizophrenia though.

Many people when they hear the word schizophrenia will have visions of some sort of "Jekyll & Hide" character. When the word is roughly translated from the original german it does mean "split personality". It is NOT however the personality split that may believe or is it what many of the ill informed in the media would have you believe. In actual fact it is the cognitive and the emotional parts of the personality which "split". The person looses the ability / need to express emotion. They become "blunted". At the same time they gradually, as the illness progresses, lose their self care skills, writing skills( for many their hand writing becomes very "child like" through time). They loose the ability to cope in everyday situations. People who have "true " schizophrenia are generally only aggressive due to fear. They are more likely to be afraid of you. Think about it this way......if you are trying to get on with your daily life and gradually you start to hear your name being called every now and then. At first it is just a whisper in the background but, every time you turn around nobody is there. Gradually, you begin to hear someone else telling you that this other "person" is going to harm you and they are hiding from you. These two voices become more frequent and louder. Now into the mix add in that you are still trying to get on with your life and you have family and friends still having normal, everyday conversations with you , while the voices are still talking. The brain is now so overloaded with stimuli that you are struggling to "filter" all this information. Then one day you are sitting in your house minding your own business when a complete stranger walks in sits down and starts to tell you about how these two voices are both going to harm you and that your neighbour, friend, or family member is coming to see you but they are going to poison you so you must kill then first and do not eat anything they offer you. You get the picture of how this serious illness, which we have no real cure for can severely "disable" a person??? Sure we can prescribe medication to help "stabilise

" the person. Might not take the voices away completely but it will help "calm it down". Unfortunately, once we get the patient to this point they then think I am well I don't need that medication anymore and they stop taking it.....and the cycle begins all over again. This time though the hallucinations are more aggressive they are worse every time the person relapses into psychosis and this pushes the illness into chronicity.

What also happens in many cases is the person begins to "self medicate", normally with alcohol or illicit substances. This allows them to feel good about them selves, gives them some degree of confidence and makes it easier for them to be sociable and make new "friends". Sadly, like with the majority of substance misusers the actual "addiction" creeps up on them and they are well down that very rocky road before they realise it. Families become destroyed and torn apart. Parents wonder where they went wrong when raising the child and struggle to deal with the stress of wondering where the person is when they do not return home , are they safe, is the police going to chap the door in the middle of the night to bring terrible news.

Many people reading this will have experienced the above either personally , directly or indirectly, or in a professional capacity. Some will never have experienced any of this and I hope you never have to. But like Forrest Gump said " life is like a box of chocolates ....you never know what you are going to get". Many people will be reading and thinking this will never affect me...my kids would not do such a thing as take drugs , WRONG!! How do you know what your kids are doing when you are not with them? Does "peer pressure" count for nothing? Does today's media not have any influence ? Do pop idols and move actors not have an indirect influence over the younger generation? Of course it does.

I read a thread on here recently from someone who disclosed that her son is currently in prison and misuses drugs. I am not going to offer my sympathy as I am sure the person has had her/his fill of sympathy. I am sad that their sons life has come to this but I also know that people who are that far down the misuse road truly need to hit their own personal. "Rock bottom" before they can actually admit they have a problem. For every one this is different and unfortunately, some people can admit the problem but continue to mis use. They will have many reasons for this. There is a service out there which originally started over 40 yrs ago in America. It is called Phoenix House / Futures. They have residential units as well as day services. We also utilise their services here in Scotland and I am a trained facilitator for the SMART Recovery groups which they also utilise. If you put any of these words in to the search engine you should be able to find more information. .

So .........I can imagine many of you are now sitting saying ...."And the point of this post is???". My point is this I am a nurse. I love my job and I can't wait to get back to it. I hope that what is written above allows some people to develop a fuller , better understanding of some things about mental illness. I would also wish that it helps people become a little more tolerant of the man sleeping in the street or on the park bench. Many homeless people suffer undiagnosed mental illness and also alcoholism. I would wish for it to generate conversation and provoke thoughts and ideas. Drive some of you to learn more and develop greater understanding. To give hope to people who may be experiencing any of the issues raised in this thread. And to offer an olive branch to anyone who needs help.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Best wishes , Bettyboop. X. Please note the word in my signature. It is very, very true.

[fnbplanet]

I sure am glad that you're back! Great read. Heal well, and keep posting!

[wealthhound]

. Hi everyone. If you have chosen to enter this thread , then I thank you in advance for doing so. . I make no apologies for it being rather long , and thus it maybe better read in sections. Consider it to be something to "dip in and out off" for a wee while. Many of you reading this will know who I am through having read my previous posts, profile or any of the threads which were running when I was first hospitalised. I can not ever thank any of you enough for your kind thoughts prayers and good wishes. I was and still am still very grateful. You will also be aware that this came about because I was taken hostage by a patient. He physically assaulted me to the point where he almost killed me. All of these recent "events" in my life have given me a great deal of time to reflect on life and how I can return to my job eventually and make things better for people experiencing mental illness or substance misuse issues. I bare no malice towards this patient in anyway, shape or form. I do not wish him dead, hanged or anything else. If he was to be admitted to my ward again tomorrow and I was there he would still be looked after by me. I would not do anything different from what I had been doing. He would still be treated with dignity, respect and compassion despite this recent event.

You see despite the fact that he is NOT actually mentally unwell, according to Scottish Mental Health Law, he is a human being who has had a very troubled background. More importantly, I am a nurse. I am not there to be judge and jury , or to "police" him. I am there to do the best I can for his health needs.

Being a mental health nurse and alcohol and drug nurse specialist is my passion. THIS is what drives me, makes me get out of bed in the morning, let's me live and be very thankful for the life I have had with my amazing parents , brothers and sisters. It also makes me even mere thankful for the fact I can continue to live as I chose and that I have never had to go through the torment that many of these individuals have to endure. Anybody who is a member of this site and who works in health care will almost certainly tell you that there are times when if we don't manage to see a funny side to illness we would never do our jobs and would spend most of our lives crying. This does not mean that we do not have empathy or understanding for the patient and their family. It is just how we learn to cope.

When I first began my training (15 yrs ago) I was going to study general nursing. However, I changed courses half way through . I do not regret a day of making that choice. Sadly, society in general is "ignorant" of mental illness. Despite the media campaigns to "knock down" the barriers and assist society to accept these souls as full members of communities , the stigma often continues. Part of this is because people are very frightened by such illness. Many will automatically think psychopath or schizophrenic. But actually, simple things like obsessive compulsive disorder I'd classes as a mental illness. It is not "simple" for the person suffering it an often has a huge impact in their daily functioning it is not schizophrenia though.

Many people when they hear the word schizophrenia will have visions of some sort of "Jekyll & Hide" character. When the word is roughly translated from the original german it does mean "split personality". It is NOT however the personality split that may believe or is it what many of the ill informed in the media would have you believe. In actual fact it is the cognitive and the emotional parts of the personality which "split". The person looses the ability / need to express emotion. They become "blunted". At the same time they gradually, as the illness progresses, lose their self care skills, writing skills( for many their hand writing becomes very "child like" through time). They loose the ability to cope in everyday situations. People who have "true " schizophrenia are generally only aggressive due to fear. They are more likely to be afraid of you. Think about it this way......if you are trying to get on with your daily life and gradually you start to hear your name being called every now and then. At first it is just a whisper in the background but, every time you turn around nobody is there. Gradually, you begin to hear someone else telling you that this other "person" is going to harm you and they are hiding from you. These two voices become more frequent and louder. Now into the mix add in that you are still trying to get on with your life and you have family and friends still having normal, everyday conversations with you , while the voices are still talking. The brain is now so overloaded with stimuli that you are struggling to "filter" all this information. Then one day you are sitting in your house minding your own business when a complete stranger walks in sits down and starts to tell you about how these two voices are both going to harm you and that your neighbour, friend, or family member is coming to see you but they are going to poison you so you must kill then first and do not eat anything they offer you. You get the picture of how this serious illness, which we have no real cure for can severely "disable" a person??? Sure we can prescribe medication to help "stabilise

" the person. Might not take the voices away completely but it will help "calm it down". Unfortunately, once we get the patient to this point they then think I am well I don't need that medication anymore and they stop taking it.....and the cycle begins all over again. This time though the hallucinations are more aggressive they are worse every time the person relapses into psychosis and this pushes the illness into chronicity.

What also happens in many cases is the person begins to "self medicate", normally with alcohol or illicit substances. This allows them to feel good about them selves, gives them some degree of confidence and makes it easier for them to be sociable and make new "friends". Sadly, like with the majority of substance misusers the actual "addiction" creeps up on them and they are well down that very rocky road before they realise it. Families become destroyed and torn apart. Parents wonder where they went wrong when raising the child and struggle to deal with the stress of wondering where the person is when they do not return home , are they safe, is the police going to chap the door in the middle of the night to bring terrible news.

Many people reading this will have experienced the above either personally , directly or indirectly, or in a professional capacity. Some will never have experienced any of this and I hope you never have to. But like Forrest Gump said " life is like a box of chocolates ....you never know what you are going to get". Many people will be reading and thinking this will never affect me...my kids would not do such a thing as take drugs , WRONG!! How do you know what your kids are doing when you are not with them? Does "peer pressure" count for nothing? Does today's media not have any influence ? Do pop idols and move actors not have an indirect influence over the younger generation? Of course it does.

I read a thread on here recently from someone who disclosed that her son is currently in prison and misuses drugs. I am not going to offer my sympathy as I am sure the person has had her/his fill of sympathy. I am sad that their sons life has come to this but I also know that people who are that far down the misuse road truly need to hit their own personal. "Rock bottom" before they can actually admit they have a problem. For every one this is different and unfortunately, some people can admit the problem but continue to mis use. They will have many reasons for this. There is a service out there which originally started over 40 yrs ago in America. It is called Phoenix House / Futures. They have residential units as well as day services. We also utilise their services here in Scotland and I am a trained facilitator for the SMART Recovery groups which they also utilise. If you put any of these words in to the search engine you should be able to find more information. .

So .........I can imagine many of you are now sitting saying ...."And the point of this post is???". My point is this I am a nurse. I love my job and I can't wait to get back to it. I hope that what is written above allows some people to develop a fuller , better understanding of some things about mental illness. I would also wish that it helps people become a little more tolerant of the man sleeping in the street or on the park bench. Many homeless people suffer undiagnosed mental illness and also alcoholism. I would wish for it to generate conversation and provoke thoughts and ideas. Drive some of you to learn more and develop greater understanding. To give hope to people who may be experiencing any of the issues raised in this thread. And to offer an olive branch to anyone who needs help.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Best wishes , Bettyboop. X. Please note the word in my signature. It is very, very true.

Awesome post Betty, educating people about mantal illness is so vitally important, and you have showed your great passion by this post!

Even in the health care industry there are not that many that choose to serve in your field. I worked in a psych unit many years ago, an adolesent unit, and I clearly remember a young girl (she had emotional difficulties, and as you know there are many young people in those units with emotional challenges) anyway, she had self image issues, I had a conversation with her one day about that, used myself as an example (weight issue for myself) and as it turned out, when she was released, she wrote me a letter saying how much our conversation meant to her. Wow, as I write this, she would now be in her forties or so, I wonder how her life has been!!

[desimo]

I know that as one professional (retired) to another, networking is important. I have spent about 20 years working dual diagnosis and am a ph.d level therapist. My body no longer lets me work like I used to but my mind still knows what it has learned through the years. I love passing on some of that which only comes through being honed in the field. Oh, and the trenches were late stage alcoholism, crisis interevention, and combat veteran counselor with a speciality in PTSD.

[Maggie123]

Dearest Bettyboop,

Thank You So Much for your compassionate, enlightened and well thought out post.

My heart aches for what happened to you. I admire your ability to forgive this individual so quickly, as we know that is a huge part of "Your Healing". I will try to think of him with respect and compassion also.

I am very greatful for yourself and others that have chosen this field of practice as there is such a need for it in this world of ours. You are doing noble and brave work that many of us would not have the courage to enter. I am sure you deserve to be rewarded with a great deal of passion and satisfaction for the work you do.

MY friend's husband had schizophrenia that he managed to keep under wraps untill he was in his 40's. He did self medicate with alcohol for years. It devastated their lives, ending in divorce and the family ripped apart. My friend actually ended up ill herself from trying to deal with everything. At the time no one understood what was actually going on, myself included. The way you explained it was very helpful for me to put a new perspective on such a confusing and sad time for everyone around the situation. Thank You...

I also appreciate your talking about drug abuse... I was the one who disclosed that my son is in prison and still abusing drugs. As I said then and will say again, he is a bright human being that has made some really bad choices. He is just as worthy of my love now as he would have been had he become a lawyer or doctor. I pray he will learn to love himself more everyday. He has many wonderful qualities. You are right about sympathy not helping, acceptance and understanding go much further. I have had to work hard on myself to drop the guilt and the shame of it all. All I know is... I always did my best as his mother to teach him right from wrong. If there was more that I knew I could have done, I would have "Done IT"... I am looking into Phoenix House in the hope I can direct him there at some point if not now.

I like your signature very much, it touches my heart everytime I see it.

This post is truely appreiciated, not only did it give us valid and important information, it also allowed us to know you better... I honor who you are and everything you do.

[Argyll]

Hey Boop,

Im delighted to have you back, and am still praying for a speedy recovery! As usual with your posts, a Brillant read! What you write about has always been somewhat taboo in society. It's a dark undercurrent from all countries and walks of life. Thank you for keeping/bringing this topic to the fore front. This effects everyone...I dare to say that there hasn't been anybody on here or anywhere that either themselves or someone that they know have been sorely effected by a friend or family member with some sort of affliction. All the best, and GOD's speed to a full recovery!

Argyll

[BETTYBOOP]

I know that as one professional (retired) to another, networking is important. I have spent about 20 years working dual diagnosis and am a ph.d level therapist. My body no longer lets me work like I used to but my mind still knows what it has learned through the years. I love passing on some of that which only comes through being honed in the field. Oh, and the trenches were late stage alcoholism, crisis interevention, and combat veteran counselor with a speciality in PTSD.

Thank you for your comments fnbplanet & wealth hound .

Desimo. I would very much like to here more of what you have to say. My e-mail is on my profile. Yes it is necessary to net work with people and I am very fortunate that the addiction consultants I work with regularly forward me research papers and other b its and pieces. We view addiction as a behaviour here in the uk , where as in the states it tends to be viewed as a disease. I tend to work with a bit of both models which sometimes does not go down well with others. . Tough. I would argue that when the addiction, regardless of what it is consistently impacts on you and others then it has become a bio-psycho-social illness. Yes that person makes their choices and they have a degree of responsibility , but by the very nature of addiction it will control you. Additionally,

as I know you will be well aware, it greatly impacts on the physical and mental health of the person. This also has a huge knock on affect upon society. Society I feel also needs to take some of the responsibility. We as a society, made alcohol a legal substance. We are thus stating that it is acceptable. Now I do drink in moderation but where it goes wrong is how people are educated about the dangers and how from a very young age children are socialised into the use of alcohol. As you will know everything that is currently legal was at some point illegal and vice versus. So , when governments made those decisions that were basically saying this is ok it is ok , but make people aware!! Alcohol is the biggest epidemic Scotland is facing amongst our young people. Especially here in the West of Scotland. Like everything else, it crept up on most of them, they always thought "never happen to me, I will control it not it will control me". Very quickly they were hooked. So, you see folks substance misuse does affect everyone and can manifest itself in anyone of us. These people in many cases don't like what they have become but when that heavily addicted they need to have their "hit" just to be able to function like you and I. Many were wonderful people before this poison took hold of them. It can be frieghtening to me the number of I. V users I see who have limited knowledge of the true dangers and need educated in harm reduction. Desimo I would also be interested to know what you meant about the trenches. And was wondering if you use EMDR with the PTSD patients?? .

[AKVET]

Bettyboop

Glad to see you back and a great read by the way and very informitive. Heal quickly so you can get back to what you enjoy doing. Welcome back.

[Maggie123]

Bettyboop,

I am curious... what is EMDR ? Would you please explain it for us laypeople and perhaps a little more about PTSD as I know it is prevalant in our society, not only for our Vet's, but also others that have experienced trama in all walks of life...

Thanks for sharing what you have no doubt worked very hard to learn

Desimo I would appreciate you input as well, Thank You Both

Edited November 19, 2011 by Maggie123

[umbertino]

Great post, my Friend.

[MovieMaker]

Bless you, your family, and ALL you do. Glad you are back.

[Danan]

What a beautiful post, Betty. I was so angry with this individual when this happened, and I have to admit as you probably know from catching up on the Crazy Side thread that a couple of us wanted to do the same physical harm to him. I should have known better, as a bail bondsman (even tho I am female) I have seen what drugs have done to the children of this country. Some of the most beautfiul talented kids have come through my office and it makes my heart hurt to know the path they have chosen. I salute you and thank each and everyone of you for doing the heartbreaking job that you have chosen.

[BETTYBOOP]

To all who viewed or posted on this thread........thank you ! . As you will have gathered , from what I have written this is a subject very close and dear to me. I hope people will have questioned themselves enough to look in to things of this nature a bit more and thus develop tolerance , understanding and compassion. Maggie I will e-mail you in person re your question. . Due to this thread I have received several personal e-mails from people I did not know , here at D. V. They have discussed their illness with me and that of family members / friends. I thank you all for your communication and I will reply in person very soon , if I have not done so already. . It was very brave of you all to be so open with a complete stranger. May your health and confidence continue to improve. . Boop. X

[Francie26]

Betty Boop, Girl!!

I taught college English for many years, and I found that I had to love my students to do that work. They came to me from all walks of life, from all levels of growth, maturity, sanity, and need. While I had to hold them accountable to be sure they did their assigned work and did well on their tests, and while I was very demanding of them academically, I also loved most of them. I'm not sure what there was about me that so many of them trusted enough to tell me their personal stories, but they often did. Some of them still stay in touch with me even though I've been retired a few years. I held many of them while they cried, and sometimes cried with them, but then we would dry our tears, and I would walk with them to the counselor's office and make sure they met the counselor and had an appointment for later.

I tell you this, not to take your story to a new level, because I know none of my experiences can even begin to do that. But I wanted to tell you how much I respect your work and you for doing it. You take love to several higher levels. Most people simply couldn't do that. I hit the edge in my own work, and even that was hard enough for me. I called all my students "my kids," and some of "my

kids" were in stark agony. My heart hurt for them because life is just far too short for that much pain. But I could only go so far to help them because I wasn't trained to do it, so the best I could do was to care deeply and make sure they were put in touch with someone whose training did give them the information to help. That's where you and others like you come in.

Welcome back. I admire and respect you and your work, and I pray you are safe while doing it in the future.

Francie26

[GI_Jane]

Betty,

You are such a beautiful person. To forgive the man who harmed you so quickly is awesome. I can honestly say, I don't know if I could do that. And, as you know, I am a nurse also. I have not really dealt with mental health issues in the capacity you have. Mine have been more PTSD related. I myself suffer the effects of PTSD. Yes, I am on medication for it. Nothing strong, but medication none the less. I suffered for over 7 years with it until I finally realized what it was and took myself to mental health to get help. I'm not ashamed of it and everyone I work with knows about it. I feel that if I can help at least one person by telling my story, then I have done what I set out to do.

Every day I deal with soldiers that have been to war and their addictions and demons. Three weeks ago a man that was in my unit was found dead of unknown ( at least to me ) circumstances. Two weeks ago, my friend killed himself after a "stand off" with the police. Not much of one though. He had killed himself before they got there. He always called me when he was in his panic stage and couldn't handle things anymore. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of the desert and he couldn't call me. This is part of my life ever since the war started. There have been so many that I couldn't even go into all of my friends and fellow soldiers that have been there.

I have spent almost three years in Iraq myself working in a Combat Hospital and I can attest to the fact that everyone that goes over there comes back changed. Both for the better and the worse. And, yes, as Betty has said. You have to find humor in it or you'll go crazy. Unfortunately, the family doesn't understand and the soldier will only talk with people that have been there. Getting the public informed of all aspects of mental health might actually help. And, I salute you Betty for all that you do for us!

to you my friend. Looking forward to hanging out with you in Scotland after the RV. I've never kissed a blarney stone!

Hi pink piggy piggy!

[BETTYBOOP]

Morning folks !

Francie & G. I. Jane, thank you for your great responses. +1 to you both. Francie , you were kind and generous with your time and efforts to your kids. Your were and I am sure you still are understanding and compassionate to their needs when they get in touch with you. You were savvy enough to recognise when they needed more "specialised" help than you could give and that is , in itself , a wonderful step in the right direction. Do you ever wonder how many young lives you may have saved just by taking that action? . I have an auntie whom the family say I am very like. She is a retired maths teacher and often speaks of her "kids". She still tutors privately from her home and she is in her late 70's. I am sure you would both get on very well. .

G. I. Jane, it was very brave of you to disclose on an open thread that you have experienced the traumas of war and how it has manifested in PTSD. I am sorry for your suffering but, also immensely pleased and proud that you recognised your need for help, and that you were insightful enough to realise you needed to address it. many people, too many in fact, shy away from the issue of mental illness. It gets "swept under the carpet" around the world. Our soldiers are now on their way home. You jane have again highlighted how much the trauma of war WILL have had some impact on these young men and women. PTSD can manifest years after the event and so in the years to come many of the vets, regardless of where they have been posted or the country they serve, will need mental health services. Sadly, many will "slip through the net".

This is partly why when Adam was asking for charity's to benefit this Christmas I was so very keen that a mental health charity was at least considered. I am not an American , as you will all be aware. However, due to experiences here in Scotland, with our servicemen & women I unfortunately know what is coming to some of your service personnel. . So I thank everyone who voted for mental health in the charities poll. I also send Adam a huge hug and lots of kisses for being so generous to the charities. It was also part of the reason I created this thread. To highlight my passion. To bring mental health and addiction into the main playing field because sadly as a society, we need to ensure that these issues are addressed by our governments.

I have worked in two of the most dangerous male prisons in Scotland. I can not name names on an open forum but google Scotland,s most dangerous killers/ prisoners / gangsters and read who they are. Let me assure you some of the people on those lists I have nursed them. There is only one of them I ever felt threatened or intimidated by , but that was for personal reasons. I do not know what the American prison system is like in regards to supporting prisoners and their families but here it is actually pretty good. There are a great deal of people in our prisons who should be in hospitals receiving care and treatment and vice versus. Some people reading this will think .......if they did it they deserve to be in prison. In many cases this is very true but there is also people who have committed crime due to mental illness and they are already imprisoned due to this. These are another group who require care and treatment and thus need the very specialised care of our secure hospital system. The state hospital for Scotland and Northern Ireland is only a twenty minute drive from where I live. I have also been in here when I was a student. This was not optional it was part of the course. It is an incredible place , with many very talented patients within it. They are also highly disturbed and extremely dangerous but they are still someone's son or daughter. So you see when you have nursed some of the people that I have, it is not too difficult to forgive the man who assaulted me. On average 1 person in every 4 of the population will, at some point in their lives, experience a mental illness. This site alone has almost 36000 members ........think about that........not counting the number of guests who visit here on a regular basis. :).

[blessedman]

Thanks for shedding some light on these subjects and for your compassion and understanding that so many others lack.

I have been in recovery since July 25th 1987 (but who's counting) and have lived the nightmare of alchohol, drug addiction and depression .

My PTSD didn't manifest till I was 12 yrs out of Nam and along with my other malady's I ended up homeless and lost everything...... family, career, friends and my self respect to the point of becoming suicidal.

I found recovery in AA and am so grateful to the many who have helped me along the way and for the opportunity and privelege to give back that was freely given to me.............and most importantly to my higher power..............I know I wouldn't have recovered without something bigger than me I tried many times to quit by myself but to no avail. There is help and I'm for whatever works, the 12 steps where my salvation and the most effective means to recovery (IMHO) that I've experienced and have helped and seen so many others get their lives back.

Through recovery I have been given back everything I lost and I consider it a miracle because we were divorced 7 yrs, I keep telling her she finally realized she couldn't live without me, LOL!!! It's like we have had two marriages, one lived in the darkness and pain of addiction and disease and the other in recovery.......... we are very lucky and so blessed.

Anonymity is very important to me and I am glad we have places like this that I can share my experience strength and hope with others without breaking it. If anyone is looking for help just know it's available in a variety of programs..............of which some are free!

Thanks again for the important and wonderful work you do.....................the world is a better place because of people like you.

BTW I was born in Birmingham and I'm not sure if alcoholism is genetic ....................................seems like it has affected a lot of other "brummies"..............LOL.

Edited November 21, 2011 by blessedman

[tacticalmedic69]

Healthcare is a calling...I am glad you responded. Thank you.

[BETTYBOOP]

Blessedman !!! WOW!!!! :woot: what a result ! I am so , so pleased for you and your family. May your good health and wellness continue. Thank you so much for being so open and honest. I support every word in your post.

[RodandStaff]

We have grown to love you more and more Bettyboop/Elizabeth... but especially now for sharing your passion. Wow, very good job in relaying your thoughts and "lessons of life" learned through many years of service. Darling, I really appreciate you doing what you do, mental illness/dependency it has left a shadow on many of us... no exception here. I don't know where to begin, and I don't want to get long winded so I will try and keep it brief.

First, and I think I speak for many "family members" here at DV... and if I overstep and speak too freely, please forgive me ahead of time... but it is out of love that I speak. There is a phrase I love.... "Be wise as a serpent, but innocent as a Dove". Honey... your our DV dove... for sure! What I need to say is simple... be as careful, and wise as you possibly can be in working with all your patients, and in life in general. Life has gotten kinda crazy out in this big ol' world, yes, there are a ton of good, good folks out there... and I will never give up hope that things can, by God's grace get better. But there are always a few that ya gotta always keep an eye on... some two eyes if you know what I mean. I am not going to lecture you dear... you are probably already doing everything you can to protect yourself already... but consider this a friendly reminder to be wise in all your dealings so if possible something like this won't happen again. I know that is asking a lot... you can't tell a fireman to "avoid hot spots", a policeman to "steer clear of trouble", or a soldier to "stay out of harms way", when by the sheer definition of their job spells risk. I know it, and you know it... what you do involves some risk. I wanna thank you for doing what you do dear... seriously, from the bottom of my heart! Just know we are pulling for you and praying for a speedy recovery and continued safety.

Now on another note, and I am not trying to contradict you in any way, just sharing some personal experience. I have found that some of the root cause can be spiritual, not all of course, there are folks that can be helped with meds or other various therapies, but I know several who were virtually tormented, and through prayer and I would say God's grace, they got serious relief. So this body of ours is and amazing creation (imo).. and on the one hand it can be as complicated as any super computer, while on the other hand it can be as simple as telling someone ya love them that will make all the difference in the world. I don't think I am telling you anything sweetie that you didn't already know, just a reminder... we love ya, and care about you... so take care... and get in shape for the big party dear... it's coming ya know!

Edited November 21, 2011 by RodandStaff

[BETTYBOOP]

My dear R&S. Thank you for your very kind and generous words. . I completely take on board what you have said about keeping myself safe. You will have read about how I have worked in two of the most dangerous prisons in Scotland. During this time evert prisoner I cared for treated me with respect and dignity. As I have said I have only ever felt threatened and intimidated once, and that was for personal reasons. The man who attacked was an opportunist and their was no indication or any fore warning that this was going to happen. This is the worst assault I have had in 15 yrs. Pretty good going if you consider the places I have worked and the people I have cared for. I promise I will take care. But I will be going back to my job. You have heard how if you fall off a horse you should get up and straight back on ? Well this is abit lime that for me. I need to go back to work. I need to step foot back inside the place where the attack took place. This what will bring me closure. I know this because I have witnessed people kill themselves and I have not been ab le to reach them in time and I find closure by reliving the event where it happened and spending time reflecting.

Now as for the R. V party. Will your wife mind if I steel you for the evening ??? .

. Additionally , you are completely correct. Spirituality plays a huge part in healthcare and medication is not always the answer. Here in scotland , under scottish mental health law, each hospital which has a mental health unit within it must employ a chaplaincy service for that unit. These services are available for patients , staff and family if need be. .

[RodandStaff]

. I promise I will take care. But I will be going back to my job. You have heard how if you fall off a horse you should get up and straight back on ? Well this is abit lime that for me. I need to go back to work. I need to step foot back inside the place where the attack took place. This what will bring me closure.

Now as for the R. V party. Will your wife mind if I steel you for the evening ??? .

Thank you for the assurances dear.... I knew you would understand, and yes... I totally understand, you have to face fear in the eye to overcome it! Will be praying you conquer it completely!

As for "stealing me"... ha!... my wife stole my heart a long time ago ... but that don't mean I don't have love for others. You better at least save me a dance (though I have two left feet! ) and I would love to talk more about Alcohol and Drug rehabilitation. We get to visit with guys who are part of the Salvation Army ARC program almost every week... love those guys. They got up and shared last week how many days there were sober... one guy new to the program said it had been two days... the most he had gone without being drunk in many years... each journey is started with a single step!

I seriously think we all have to start making some plans to have some sort of gathering post RV, don't you... any suggestions??? How is the rehabilitation coming along? That may effect your plans I am sure. Best wishes my dear!

[BETTYBOOP]

Thank you for the assurances dear.... I knew you would understand, and yes... I totally understand, you have to face fear in the eye to overcome it! Will be praying you conquer it completely!

As for "stealing me"... ha!... my wife stole my heart a long time ago ... but that don't mean I don't have love for others. You better at least save me a dance (though I have two left feet! ) and I would love to talk more about Alcohol and Drug rehabilitation. We get to visit with guys who are part of the Salvation Army ARC program almost every week... love those guys. They got up and shared last week how many days there were sober... one guy new to the program said it had been two days... the most he had gone without being drunk in many years... each journey is started with a single step!

I seriously think we all have to start making some plans to have some sort of gathering post RV, don't you... any suggestions??? How is the rehabilitation coming along? That may effect your plans I am sure. Best wishes my dear!

Affect my plans ?!?! Tell me you are having a laugh ?!? Take more than a wee rumble with a patient to keep me away!!! With your two left and my two right feet I am sure we will muddle by on the dance floor. I don't mind where we go. Have passport ......will fly. Even if it takes superman to get me there.

The project you spoke of sounds really interesting and yeah I would love to discuss the topic further. Baby steps.....one day at a time. I am sure the guy felt like sh*** but real pleased he had even managed to get as far as day 2. Oh almost forgot. Rehab going well. No body brace. Walking everyday. .

[watercop]

Thank you Betty/LizzyPizzy We here at our house are so glad you are back and getting better. We prayed for you and worried more than a little which to some may be strange because we don't know you personally but we felt like we do. This is very timely because some one very dear to me is struggling with alcohol addiction and this week I think she almost died from drinking too much. She is now in jail which I am in a way responsible. As you may have seen on some of the other posts, I don't drink and so I am the designated driver. When I found her passed out, unresponsive and I couldn't wake her and I know she has hepatitis C and as I am very unfamiliar with someone that drunk, I called an ambulance and the police came with them and now she is back in jail. I haven't talked to her because I know she is mad at me but I have checked on her much. I have done all that I can but I feel like she needs to want help. For the last two months I have driven her to her AA meetings and even stayed with her in them some times. I now realize she was only going to them as part of her probation. I really want her to want my help. I know she will die if she keeps drinking. She has reached the point where she has used up everyone who ever loved her. She thrives in jail. I will check on the places you mentioned but she needs to want to get the help. What can I do?

Thanks again, Cinnamon Roll

[BETTYBOOP]

Morning watercrop. I have read your post above and it saddens me that your friend has ended up in this situation. From what you have told me , I imagine she has drank for at least 15 yrs, pretty consistently. She has a yellow tinge to her skin and eyes , even when she has been sober for a while , due to late stage liver failure. She will be quite emaciated because she has a poor nutritional intake, alcohol is far more important. When she is drinking she will become "puffy" in her appearance. Her hands and legs swell due to oedema (fluid retention) and she has a "moon shapes face". When she smiles she actually resembles the man in the moon. ( Pse

udo Cushing syndrome) due to a de compromised liver. She consistently tells you she wants help but continues to drink, has stole to feed her hab it and still expects people to be her friend. ?? This about right ?

Underneath the persistent drinking she probably does want help. You say she thrives in jail. She will because although she might manage to get drugs in the jail she can't get any alcohol and so in affect the jail is actually saving her life. I know that sounds real daft to some people who will read this but alcohol will kill you before drugs do. When in the jail her body is actually being given time to rest and recuperate. Her liver is not being "crippled" hour in hour out by needing to process alcohol. I am assuming your friend has a very poor unsteady gait. (Walk). ? But when in jail this also appears to improve? This nerve damage due to alcohol misuse. Mega vitamin therapy is needed for to help treat this. You see when we drink alcohol we use a vitamin called thiamine to help process it. Thiamine is stored in the brain. Now , if we consistently drink we use up all our reserve of thiamine. Due to the heavy consistent drinking we do not eat properly ....so we do not naturally , automatically replace the thiamine. We can't , our nutritional intake is too poor. Vitamins and "micro" nutrients are essential for many body function that we would never have imagined. So when she is in jail she eats a much improved diet. Hence why her mind is clearer and her gait improved upon release. Sadly she will never have a normal gait due to the nerves being too badly damaged but ongoing , long term vitamin therapy does help improve it.

You have tried very hard to help you friend. You can't truly help them until they want that help you can only try to support them. Remember that any addiction is essentially a behaviour which that person is responsible for. Unfortunately none of them ever believe that something as freely available as alcohol could so easily take over their lives , control their lives and literally become their god. You have probably done her the best favour that you could have ....managed to get her back to jail in a roundabout way you have probably saved her life and for that , although angry at present she will thank you. She might not actually be angry at you. You are just a convenient "target". She is angry at herself, she has failed ....again. She has broke her parole.....maybe deliberately because she knows within herself that she is safer in jail. She is angry because she got caught. She is angry at the world because according to her at times. .....none of this is her fault, the world owes her a living. Which , of course we do not. Hope this explains a little but also makes you feel better and maybe understand a little more. Lizzy.