THIS IS MY PASSION..............Mental Health & Substance Misuse....

[watercop]

Morning watercrop. I have read your post above and it saddens me that your friend has ended up in this situation. From what you have told me , I imagine she has drank for at least 15 yrs, pretty consistently. She has a yellow tinge to her skin and eyes , even when she has been sober for a while , due to late stage liver failure. She will be quite emaciated because she has a poor nutritional intake, alcohol is far more important. When she is drinking she will become "puffy" in her appearance. Her hands and legs swell due to oedema (fluid retention) and she has a "moon shapes face". When she smiles she actually resembles the man in the moon. ( Pse

udo Cushing syndrome) due to a de compromised liver. She consistently tells you she wants help but continues to drink, has stole to feed her hab it and still expects people to be her friend. ?? This about right ?

Underneath the persistent drinking she probably does want help. You say she thrives in jail. She will because although she might manage to get drugs in the jail she can't get any alcohol and so in affect the jail is actually saving her life. I know that sounds real daft to some people who will read this but alcohol will kill you before drugs do. When in the jail her body is actually being given time to rest and recuperate. Her liver is not being "crippled" hour in hour out by needing to process alcohol. I am assuming your friend has a very poor unsteady gait. (Walk). ? But when in jail this also appears to improve? This nerve damage due to alcohol misuse. Mega vitamin therapy is needed for to help treat this. You see when we drink alcohol we use a vitamin called thiamine to help process it. Thiamine is stored in the brain. Now , if we consistently drink we use up all our reserve of thiamine. Due to the heavy consistent drinking we do not eat properly ....so we do not naturally , automatically replace the thiamine. We can't , our nutritional intake is too poor. Vitamins and "micro" nutrients are essential for many body function that we would never have imagined. So when she is in jail she eats a much improved diet. Hence why her mind is clearer and her gait improved upon release. Sadly she will never have a normal gait due to the nerves being too badly damaged but ongoing , long term vitamin therapy does help improve it.

You have tried very hard to help you friend. You can't truly help them until they want that help you can only try to support them. Remember that any addiction is essentially a behaviour which that person is responsible for. Unfortunately none of them ever believe that something as freely available as alcohol could so easily take over their lives , control their lives and literally become their god. You have probably done her the best favour that you could have ....managed to get her back to jail in a roundabout way you have probably saved her life and for that , although angry at present she will thank you. She might not actually be angry at you. You are just a convenient "target". She is angry at herself, she has failed ....again. She has broke her parole.....maybe deliberately because she knows within herself that she is safer in jail. She is angry because she got caught. She is angry at the world because according to her at times. .....none of this is her fault, the world owes her a living. Which , of course we do not. Hope this explains a little but also makes you feel better and maybe understand a little more. Lizzy.

Thanks Lizzy you are 100% right about her. Its like you know her too. I have today found out that she says she is not mad anymore and I will go see her on Sunday during visiting hours. I am still very reluctant to enable her again. Like you said she steals and borrows and I have a hard time with no. Deep down I am afraid if she gets to far into desperation she will kill her self like my cousin did and she is just like her. I won't ever tell her about my cousin because I am afraid the information will make that option viable to her so I just let her manipulate me.

Thanks for listening and I am Soooooo Happy you are home. And really don't worry about our situation. "This too will pass" as my wonderful mother use to say. That is also a constant that you can count on like change

Cinnamon Roll