I stole this from a friend who posted it on a different site. -429
Like many others, I have been asked what I did on my Submarine. This is the best response that I have ever seen and thought it was worth sharing.
On my submarine, we did some of the stuff we did. We didn’t do the other stuff we did because if we did do it, it was a secret. So we didn’t do it. Even though we did, but not really.
The medals my shipmates and I didn’t earn for doing what we didn’t do, we did receive, except we didn’t, because we never went where we were and weren’t there when we were, but we did the stuff we didn’t do while we weren’t there not doing it.
As far as what boat I was on, we didn’t go where we went and didn’t do what we did while not doing it.
So, the bottom line, we weren’t on a boat that I won’t mention, not doing what we did, where we weren’t…
I hope this clarifies things.
A fleeing Taliban fighter, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw trees far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier with a small stall.
He was a Para selling regimental ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?”
The para replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only £5 sterling."
The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the Para, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me.
I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Officers Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need.. "
Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration & rasped...
"They won't let me in without a bloody tie!