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Three guys go into a restaurant .....

moose 57

By moose 57,
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moose 57 Rising Star

moose 57

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Three guys go into a restaurant .....

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes!" So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron, to come into the restaurant, was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord.

Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."

For Those Who Understand, No Explanation is necessary.

For Those Who Do Not Understand, no explanation is possible.

 

 

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umbertino Grand Master

umbertino

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Hmmmm... I 've been having a real bad backache  for 4 xxxxing days now...Let's hope.. It's my 1 st time    to experiment such a  pain .. Simply unbearable

 

I know...Gettin' old ( will hit 58 in 25 days)

Edited by umbertino
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moose 57 Rising Star

moose 57

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Hmmmm... I 've been having a real bad backache  for 4 xxxxing days now...Let's hope.. It's my 1 st time    to experiment such a  pain .. Simply unbearable

 

I know...Gettin' old ( will hit 58 in 25 days)

Hey Old fart!!!  lol

Edited by moose 57
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skeetdog Mentor

skeetdog

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Thanks moose...''Top of the Day to ya''... :tiphat:...umbertino hope ya get to feelin' better...when my ol' back starts actin' up...I fine standing in the shower and runnin' as hot of water as I can on it and then switchin' the water to as cold as it can get and just keep this up till it starts feelin' better....it works for me...

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SgtFuryUSCZ Apprentice

SgtFuryUSCZ

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***///

 

Good one, MOOSE !  Spot on !  :twothumbs:

 

UMBE.... [disclaimer] We ain't Docs, :surgeon:  but ya might try this :

... increase your water intake, lay flat on floor,

bend at knees so upper legs are vertical, lower legs/feet up on chair...

Helps separate the vertebra allowing relief for any pinching discs.

 

If it's muscles, increase water intake, find a big 'ol chick who's a defected Russian masseuse!  :lol:  DAH !

 

 

 

 

.

Edited by SgtFuryUSCZ
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DWitte Newbie

DWitte

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Hmmmm... I 've been having a real bad backache  for 4 xxxxing days now...Let's hope.. It's my 1 st time    to experiment such a  pain .. Simply unbearable

 

I know...Gettin' old ( will hit 58 in 25 days)

I know the name of an excellent Neurosurgeon.  This guy is God to me.  I had 3 discs replaced for starters.  Back pain???  Four days????  You're just getting started kiddo.  I had a little over ten years of what you have before I found some relief.  But I do feel for you.  I know how you feel.  Miserable, huh?

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waterman13 Newbie

waterman13

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Posted (edited)

Hmmmm... I 've been having a real bad backache  for 4 xxxxing days now...Let's hope.. It's my 1 st time    to experiment such a  pain .. Simply unbearable

 

I know...Gettin' old ( will hit 58 in 25 days)

I know how you feel, right side of my body is in severe pain, can barely walk, right ankle is shot, can't sleep because of the pain. Will be 56 this year and feel like I'm 100.

Wm13

Edited by waterman13
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umbertino Grand Master

umbertino

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Hey Old fart!!!  lol

Yes... I definitely am.....Smile

 

 Happy Easter to you moose and all DV Members.

 

Buona Pasqua Everybody

Thanks moose...''Top of the Day to ya''... :tiphat:...umbertino hope ya get to feelin' better...when my ol' back starts actin' up...I fine standing in the shower and runnin' as hot of water as I can on it and then switchin' the water to as cold as it can get and just keep this up till it starts feelin' better....it works for me...

Grazie skeet...Will check that out.

***///

 

Good one, MOOSE !  Spot on !  :twothumbs:

 

UMBE.... [disclaimer] We ain't Docs, :surgeon:  but ya might try this :

... increase your water intake, lay flat on floor,

bend at knees so upper legs are vertical, lower legs/feet up on chair...

Helps separate the vertebra allowing relief for any pinching discs.

 

If it's muscles, increase water intake, find a big 'ol chick who's a defected Russian masseuse!  :lol:  DAH !

 

 

 

 

.

 Grazie SGT. Will try that also

I know the name of an excellent Neurosurgeon.  This guy is God to me.  I had 3 discs replaced for starters.  Back pain???  Four days????  You're just getting started kiddo.  I had a little over ten years of what you have before I found some relief.  But I do feel for you.  I know how you feel.  Miserable, huh?

Miserable? that's an understatement for sure.. Took me 1 and  1/2 hrs. last night before finding a decent position in  bed for getting asleep.. Was too tense so my back was stiff and pain was sky-high...Finally I got relaxed  ( right out of pure exhaustion, I guess) and was able to fall asleep. my x-rays are scheduled for April 14 and the Phisiatrist visit on May 19

Edited by umbertino
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moose 57 Rising Star

moose 57

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Posted

Hmmmm... I 've been having a real bad backache  for 4 xxxxing days now...Let's hope.. It's my 1 st time    to experiment such a  pain .. Simply unbearable

 

I know...Gettin' old ( will hit 58 in 25 days)

I thought you were joking 

Hope you get better soon. Backaches really suck.

Thoughts & prayers for you umbertino

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