moose 57 Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 A NORWEGIAN and a SWEDE entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the SWEDE stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the SWEDE said to the Norwegian, "YA, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one even saw me. Betcha you can't beat that." NORWEGIAN replied: "Ya! You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you some-ting." So they went to the counter and the NORWEGIAN said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see some magic?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The NORWEGIAN said: "Gimme one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The NORWEGIAN asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?" The NORWEGIAN replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate." You just CAN'T beat a NORWEGIAN now can ya. h.a.n.d. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleEye Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 En svensk man hittar jag norska skämt om svenskarna smaklös, offensiv och rentav inte roligt... Chokladkakor Buffévarmrätterna kunde vara... Har du någonsin hört om den norska make? Ole (A Norwegian) was talking with his brother Sven, who lived next door, when Sven said, "Ya know Ole, you and Lena should really get some new curtains." "Vy's dat?" Ole asked. "Vel last night I saw you and Lena, vel you know..." Ole thought for awhile, then said, "Ha-ha Sven, da yokes on you! I vasn't even home last night!" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatshername Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 1 hour ago, George Hayduke said: En svensk man hittar jag norska skämt om svenskarna smaklös, offensiv och rentav inte roligt... Chokladkakor Buffévarmrätterna kunde vara... Har du någonsin hört om den norska make? Ole (A Norwegian) was talking with his brother Sven, who lived next door, when Sven said, "Ya know Ole, you and Lena should really get some new curtains." "Vy's dat?" Ole asked. "Vel last night I saw you and Lena, vel you know..." Ole thought for awhile, then said, "Ha-ha Sven, da yokes on you! I vasn't even home last night!" Som en svensk kvinna jag tror att dess roligt men jag föredrar blonda skämt ! Hej ... när vi blivit polackerna av humor universum? Sven, a furniture dealer from Minnesota, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Sven could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Sven has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moose 57 Posted June 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Whatshername said: Som en svensk kvinna jag tror att dess roligt men jag föredrar blonda skämt ! Hej ... när vi blivit polackerna av humor universum? Sven, a furniture dealer from Minnesota, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Sven could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Sven has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business. that was well worth the read!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 Verkligen? Verkligen en svensk? Finns det inget **** på dessa epiphanies? Galenskaperna... bara vanlig galenskap...! 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatshername Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 Tja , hälften svenska och hälften västeuropeiska byracka ! Men mina pannkakor är att dö för , så jag har att gå för mig ! Skål för dig George ! Förresten ... det ser ut som din negger är tillbaka ! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muleslayer Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 Really? I wants some pancakes! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RV ME Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 17 hours ago, George Hayduke said: Verkligen? Verkligen en svensk? Finns det inget **** på dessa epiphanies? Galenskaperna... bara vanlig galenskap...! Heliga negativ Batman, verkar det din hemliga beundrare är tillbaka igen. Tog hand om det neg för dig. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatshername Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 12 hours ago, Muleslayer said: Really? I wants some pancakes! Comin' right up! You like regular (lingonberry) or Swedish-American (maple syrup)? <-- that's my first ever hyphen! ? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 A friend of mine had a hat that said "I'm Norwegian...but I'm taking pills for it"!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleEye Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 alright will somebody with enough time on his/her hands please do a google translate so the rest of us can get in on the laugh too... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 18 hours ago, Whatshername said: Tja , hälften svenska och hälften västeuropeiska byracka ! Men mina pannkakor är att dö för , så jag har att gå för mig ! Skål för dig George ! Förresten ... det ser ut som din negger är tillbaka ! "vägen blickar gillar din negger är tillbaka !" Japp, tom huvud, svart hjärta och kortvuxen små fingrar som går neg neg neg i mörkret... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 1 hour ago, RV ME said: Heliga negativ Batman, verkar det din hemliga beundrare är tillbaka igen. Tog hand om det neg för dig. Tack broder - somliga bara kan't hantera sanningen... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 2 hours ago, EagleEye said: alright will somebody with enough time on his/her hands please do a google translate so the rest of us can get in on the laugh too... Oh come on Eagle Eye - Google's not necessary - Swede's don't make any sense in any language and the joke is always on them But, if'n you want a translation try http://translation.babylon-software.com/swedish/to-english/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleEye Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umbertino Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 AWESOME.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DinarThug Posted June 5, 2016 Report Share Posted June 5, 2016 7 hours ago, umbertino said: AWESOME.... U Must Be Italian - U Even Use Words That End In A Vowel ... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umbertino Posted June 5, 2016 Report Share Posted June 5, 2016 9 hours ago, DinarThug said: U Must Be Italian - U Even Use Words That End In A Vowel ... Caught..... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genx4me Posted June 5, 2016 Report Share Posted June 5, 2016 On Friday, June 03, 2016 at 8:34 AM, moose 57 said: A NORWEGIAN and a SWEDE entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the SWEDE stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the SWEDE said to the Norwegian, "YA, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one even saw me. Betcha you can't beat that." NORWEGIAN replied: "Ya! You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you some-ting." So they went to the counter and the NORWEGIAN said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see some magic?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The NORWEGIAN said: "Gimme one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The NORWEGIAN asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?" The NORWEGIAN replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate." You just CAN'T beat a NORWEGIAN now can ya. h.a.n.d. ??? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowGlobe7 Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 It's easy Snow - dja know how Norwegian kitties pronounce 'meow'? Exactly! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 On June 4, 2016 at 1:24 PM, EagleEye said: alright will somebody with enough time on his/her hands please do a google translate so the rest of us can get in on the laugh too... It's Greek to me too EagleEye and I'm half "Norveeghun"!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleEye Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 thanks Rod !! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatshername Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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