I was 32 when I met the love of my life. She was 92

[umbertino]

“Despite the age difference between us, I would forget every day that she was what others considered ‘old’”

 

 

Gregor Collins

 

Friday 27 March 2015 09.30 GMT

 

 

 

I remember the first time we met. I listened to the wheels of her walker rolling down the old carpet of her 1970s redwood bungalow and, moments later, rounding the corner was a spiffy 92-year-old woman who stood up straight, scanned the room like a curious little bunny rabbit, and settled on the new guy: “And you must be Gregor”. She said it with the most delightfully lilting Viennese accent I’d ever heard. It was love at first sentence, something I never thought existed.

 

I was 32 at the time, and an actor. A friend convinced me to interview for a job as caregiver to an elderly woman named Maria Altmann (played by Helen Mirren in the upcoming biopic Woman in Gold). I wasn’t excited about the idea in general - the only time I would ever even consider being a caregiver was to play one on TV. But I went along anyway and was nervous about it. I don’t know. Maybe the deepest part of me sensed something big was about to happen.

 

She wore a colorful silk scarf, a green cashmere sweater and bright white trousers that day. I’d never seen someone so elegant, yet there was something childlike about her too. She had an insatiable curiosity about everything. We sat down together as if we were the only two people in the room. And she listened to me not with her ears but with her heart. On that morning my life changed, and believe me, I don’t just let any girl sweep me off my feet.

 

I set everything aside for the next three years until her death, the first of someone I truly loved in my entire life. Our connection was immediate. It was like we had met in another life. Despite the age difference between us, I would daily forget she was what others may consider old. We both felt like we were in our 20s, and we would admit that to each other regularly, without it ever getting uncomfortable. It was just perfectly magical.

 

My friends were really supportive and were all eager to meet her. I was very selective about who I introduced her to, though. It was like I was taking them to meet my new girlfriend, and all the butterflies that come with that. The last thing I wanted was for a woman with such gentility, who in many ways saw me as perfect, to see me with a bunch of goons.

 

In the beginning, it concerned me that someone might think our uncommon bond was weird or inappropriate, but it wasn’t even remotely the case. Because anyone who knew our relationship understood it, and her family was thankful that their mother had someone like me that made her happy.

 

Maria really meant everything to me. I said to her once: “Maria, you’re like a mother, a grandmother, and a friend to me.” And she responded: “What about a mistress?” We laughed together all day about these kinds of things. There’s no doubt we looked at each other romantically, but not in a physical sense. We were soul mates. Supernatural lovers, if you will.

 

Over the next three years Maria introduced me to a whole new world of art, music and culture, regaling me with incredible stories of her charmed childhood growing up in the preeminent Bloch-Bauer family in Vienna. She told about her harrowing escape from the Nazis in 1938 with her husband, their migration to Los Angeles in 1942, and the epic Supreme Court case to recover her uncle’s paintings by Gustav Klimt. Many anecdotes she told me were filled with details you could never find in history books.

 

Not only did I grow by being exposed to this world of culture, but my relationship with Maria also led me to ask myself difficult questions about life, the pursuit of my dreams and what my future would hold. The most difficult questions were: Why do I love this woman so much? Why does she love me? I struggled a great deal with the second one.

 

In my eyes I didn’t do anything to deserve her love. But she saw things in me I never saw in myself. Like she’d always say: “You’re so elegant.” No one had ever called me that, especially someone who actually was the very definition of the word.

 

Maria died on 7 February, 2011. I stood there and watched her take her last breaths.

 

I didn’t want Maria before I met her, but I needed her once I did. We were exactly what we both needed. At the funeral her daughter Margie came up to me and said: “You were the last great love of my mother’s life.” To hear it said aloud from a family member brought tears of gratitude, and humility - that I had the chance to make someone’s last three years on earth a pleasure. Since I met Maria I’ve done some of the best creative work of my life. She guides me in everything I do. True love never ends.

 

 

 

Celebrating Maria’s 94th birthday together. Photograph: Gregor Collins

 

 

 

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/27/i-was-32-when-i-met-the-love-of-my-life-she-was-92

 

[FlintNPebbles]

What a sweet story.

[Saint]

Love has no boundaries. Very nice story, thanks umbertino

[jobug38]

True love is a wonderful thing.....consider yourself blessed to have experienced it. Most live their entire life without ever experiencing true love! She sounds like she was quite a beautiful human being! May she rest in peace!

[jg1]

Marraige should be for love, but unfortunatly it is done for other reasons.  I was married for 11 years and did not get to feel it. My Xwife married me to get away from her parents, her country and to have security in her life. She then admitted to me she was not inlove with me and I should have know it.         

I guess I should not have been living by Obamas campain slogan. Hope and change.

[umbertino]

True love is a wonderful thing.....consider yourself blessed to have experienced it. Most live their entire life without ever experiencing true love! She sounds like she was quite a beautiful human being! May she rest in peace!

 

Agreed

Marraige should be for love, but unfortunatly it is done for other reasons.  I was married for 11 years and did not get to feel it. My Xwife married me to get away from her parents, her country and to have security in her life. She then admitted to me she was not inlove with me and I should have know it.         

I guess I should not have been living by Obamas campain slogan. Hope and change.

I'm sure there will be true Love in your life ( somebody who loves you sincerely)  if there's not already.

 

It's one ( or "the" ) of the things that make Life worth living for.... Along with  true Friendship.

All the rest is just details...JMHO

Edited March 27, 2015 by umbertino

[UNEEK]

Umbertino -- Absolutely one of your best posts !!  It was a  wonderful story  and so pleasing to read!!  I could not help but  make some comments this morning and come  out of my   silence!  lol 

 

Stories like this  may be rare  but none the less they restore some lost hope in humanity and the innate nature to  touch - to love - be loved - and  show  compassion --  when there is a real soul connection  like these two people had it is just awesome!! 

 

I am not giving up hope for myself to even find myself in  such a  relationship ha ha  !!

 

Thank you for  sharing  Umbertino and  bringing  me out of my shell :)  

 

 Oh BTW JFYI -  my silence has mostly been due to 4  funerals  since the last of December and with a friend in Hospice another is soon to happen --   

 

 

I  enjoy  reading  here (even  contributing  when  I  have something I  feel  will be of interest  to  others)  So while my presence may not be so evident  and my silence is  just know that  I am aware and I  am lurking and care about  all that  happens here  

[umbertino]

Grazie Uneek.. Your comments are always more than welcome

 

I happen to agree with what you stated.

 

 

 Sorry about your losses, my Friend

Edited March 27, 2015 by umbertino

[Muleslayer]

Kudos!

[The Machine]

I was brought to believe that marrige is forever, as the majority in Ireland are ....... hense the reason why I'm still not technically  married lol and divorce is still a rarity in Ireland.

 

I'm with my partner for the past  7 years, she gets on amazingly with my family as I do with her's but we still havent tied the knot

 

to be honest we have talked about it, and neither of us are bothered really. we act as husband and wife & see each other as such.

 

 I'm christian & she's the same ..... I dont know whats going to happen, maybe deep down we just dont want to ruin a good thing, we've seen too many couples who were great together get married only to break up a couple of years after marrige. I dont see us ever splitting up as we were best friends before.

 

as far as were concerned, this (us) is forever ......... and just like going to church, you dont have to go there to pray.

 

tell you what if we get an RV this year youre all invited to a massive church wedding.

Edited March 28, 2015 by The Machine

[pokerplayer]

Been married to hubby for close to 35 yrs now. Been trying for ages to mold him the way I want. He is a cantankerous old fart and refuses to change. Sure don't want to lose him as starting over is not an option.....  

 

  Love who you have as at night when snuggling to a warm body means one thing, ..... LOVE

 

  I am blessed and hope many more are as well

 

pp

[umbertino]

Grazie for your testimonials The Machine & PP

[Jim1cor13]

What a beautiful story Umberto. Thank you very much.

 

Love knows no boundaries when it is real. Wonderful article.

Great testimonies from everyone, thank you for sharing a bit

about your lives. I think I tell my wife at least half a dozen times

a day that I love her. After almost 20 years of being together, she

still smiles with that little girl look. We tell each other that daily, and

often, as I do not think it can be heard too often.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Jim1cor13

[umbertino]

What a beautiful story Umberto. Thank you very much.

 

Love knows no boundaries when it is real. Wonderful article.

Great testimonies from everyone, thank you for sharing a bit

about your lives. I think I tell my wife at least half a dozen times

a day that I love her. After almost 20 years of being together, she

still smiles with that little girl look. We tell each other that daily, and

often, as I do not think it can be heard too often.

Grazie Jim and agreed on all you stated.

[millionaire in training]

Thats a beautiful story.   I love it when I hear testimonies of how people found and fell in love.   It makes me happy to know that all though it doesn't excise for everyone that at least it does excise.   I have not been as lucky as you guys have been but I guess Im still hopeful that maybe one day I'll find someone special .    

 

It sounds to me that what happened to them was something called soul recognition.   That's when two souls recognize each other regardless of age color or gender.

 

It's a beautiful thing.

[umbertino]

Thats a beautiful story.   I love it when I hear testimonies of how people found and fell in love.   It makes me happy to know that all though it doesn't excise for everyone that at least it does excise.   I have not been as lucky as you guys have been but I guess Im still hopeful that maybe one day I'll find someone special .    

 

It sounds to me that what happened to them was something called soul recognition.   That's when two souls recognize each other regardless of age color or gender.

 

It's a beautiful thing.

 You will find Someone Special because you're a beautiful  ( I know you are innerly, which is what matters most..probably also outerly but that really is insignificant in a serious  profound love relationship..yep takes time to  understand that...) Person.

Edited March 31, 2015 by umbertino

[millionaire in training]

Thank You........