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Divorce Agreement

robnhood

By robnhood,
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robnhood Newbie

robnhood

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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, etc:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that i want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sakes of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America can not and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. HERE IS A MODEL SEPERATION AGREEMENT: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but i am sure out two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and sisparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we will take our firearms, the police, the NRA and the military. We will also take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them). We will keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We will keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We will keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. when our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. We will keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You care welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, Political Correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill. We will keep the SUV,s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We will continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We will keep the Battle Hym of the Republic and the National Anthem. I am sure you'll be happy to substitute, Imagine, I'd like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We will practice trickle down economics and you can continue th give trickle up poverty you best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just ignore it. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer whch one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall, Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

REGUARDING THE IRAQ DINAR! We will take a revalued currency tax free, understading that people will be making purchases, paying off debt and helping others. This is how conservitave Americans would choose to stimulate our economy.

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Teresa82 Newbie

Teresa82

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I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! Exactly my thoughts. I didn't believe in divorce until just now! The Liberals should be just fine with this right? I wonder if this was really posed to them, if they would accept it! It's hard to say, but I think they would think twice not to have our security minded on their side!!!!! Thanks ROBNHOOD!

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motox565 Newbie

motox565

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Wait, not so fast!

Have you checked the new health care bill for stipulations that pertain to divorce?

I don't think it's will be legal to do such action without seeing a manditory imposed marraige counselor first....

then the decision lies in the goverment appointed expert hands .... feeew .. thank goodness! .. don't wanna have to make any decisins on our own.

Nobody said marraige was easy ...

Well, .... good luck with your America segregating divorce and all that stuff.

I'm heading for the hills ... :lol:

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tommy17 Newbie

tommy17

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Robnhood this is great stuff ,could not have said it any better. Even better lets add Cuba to that list i'am sure all the liberals would love it down there, being thats what they hope united states would be one day. If you disagree with castro you just come up missing the next day or they just shot you right there in the streets. I wonder how long rosie would last? Castro has been praising are health care, a couple more years under Big Ears he might just want cuba to be are next state.

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