Women of the World - Unite!

[moose 57]

  Women of the World - Unite!
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us
for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -drop
us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us
do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and
their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't
left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a
man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by
lightning. We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet,
the cabbage soup diet and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across
America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the
hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware
stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no
problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,
please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended
families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is
for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.
We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or
without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we
crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain. I'm going
to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!

 

sorry guys, this one is for the girls!- gotta love em!

 

 

 

Edited August 25, 2015 by moose 57

[SgtFuryUSCZ]

***///

 

Yup...  'OlGals.... Misson-focused, Driven, Capable !

God Bless Us Everyone !   

 

Thanks YerMOOSEness ! 

[umbertino]

Quote

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.

End Quote

lol

 

[nstoolman1]

This gave me the sweats just reading it. I grew up and now live in a sea of estrogen. The tribes would not stand a chance. 

[MyLadiesDaddy]

This gave me the sweats just reading it. I grew up and now live in a sea of estrogen. The tribes would not stand a chance. 

I know what you mean about a sea of estrogen.

I've had to buy a Harley, leathers, and grow a goatee just to remember I'm a man.

But hey I wouldn't trade all my girls for all the tea in China. And I have great home security.LOL

[jobug38]

Moose I resemble those remarks above.... Also something for the gov. To think about if Isis knew the army and marines we're all women they would give up immediately because they believe if you get killed by a woman in battle you go straight to h***!

[umbertino]

This gave me the sweats just reading it. I grew up and now live in a sea of estrogen. The tribes would not stand a chance. 

Good one...Didn't know you are a "she"... Ciao

[umbertino]

Sorry.. I misread your post.. I do apologize

[Xtaxguy]

Moose, I forward about 90% of your homilies to my friends and extended family; but, I cannot decide on this one.  My daughters, closely surrounding age 50 would certainly do one of two things:  do as you suggest, or water board me.

[moose 57]

Moose, I forward about 90% of your homilies to my friends and extended family; but, I cannot decide on this one.  My daughters, closely surrounding age 50 would certainly do one of two things:  do as you suggest, or water board me.

Give credit where credit is due! I just did.  I will take the water board if needed!!! 

 

whoops- what's the water board? might think before volunteering   lol

 

serious- what is the "water board"

Edited August 25, 2015 by moose 57

[millionaire in training]

This gave me the sweats just reading it. 

Me too and Im a woman.   Wow we sure sound scary.  Very funny Moose. And very true.      

 

So men look out there just may be one standing right behind you ready to pounce on you.........    

 

serious- what is the "water board"

I suggest you Google it.  Too long to explain.

[Texstorm]

I know what you mean about a sea of estrogen.

I've had to buy a Harley, leathers, and grow a goatee just to remember I'm a man.

But hey I wouldn't trade all my girls for all the tea in China. And I have great home security.LOL

" Tupelo Honey" Great song ! Now you got that one stuck in my head. LOL

[nstoolman1]

Sorry.. I misread your post.. I do apologize

No problem. My wife says she doubts there is a feminine side tp me. She says I am a neanderthal all the way. 

[moose 57]

Me too and Im a woman.   Wow we sure sound scary.  Very funny Moose. And very true.      

 

So men look out there just may be one standing right behind you ready to pounce on you.........    

I suggest you Google it.  Too long to explain.

I knew that- didn't click, just got back from salmon fishing, tired as heck

[umbertino]

Give credit where credit is due! I just did.  I will take the water board if needed!!! 

 

whoops- what's the water board? might think before volunteering   lol

 

serious- what is the "water board"

It's a water sport