A Good laugh for Over 50

[moose 57]

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> Should I Really Join Facebook ?

> (Priceless)

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> A good laugh for people in the over 50 group

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> AND really quite true!!

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> When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about

> the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees,

> all without a cell phone that plays music,

> takes videos, pictures and communicates with

> Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for

> Twitter and Facebook , so my seven kids, their spouses,

> 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate

> with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle

> something as simple as Twitter with only 140

> characters of space.

>

> That was before one of my grandkids hooked me

> up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon,

> Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and

> something that sends every message to my cell phone and

> every other program within the texting world.

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> My phone was beeping every three minutes with

> the details of everything except the bowel

> movements of the entire next generation. I am

> not ready to live like this. I keep my cell

> phone in the garage in my golf bag.

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> The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday

> because they say I get lost every now and then

> going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that

> in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's

> red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it

> once and was standing in line at Barnes and

> Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the

> nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to

> take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a

> little loud.

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> I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash

> board, but the lady inside that gadget was the

> most annoying, rudest person I had run into in

> a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would

> sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You

> would think that she could be nicer. It was like she

> could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep

> sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next

> light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was

> not a good relationship.

> When I get really lost now, I call my wife and

> tell her the name of the cross streets and

> while she is starting to develop the same tone

> as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

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> To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to

> learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We

> have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured

> out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to

> run around digging under chair cushions and

> checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry

> baskets when the phone rings.

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> The world is just getting too complex for me.

> They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery

> store. You would think they could settle on something

> themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every

> time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought

> some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking

> confused, but I never remember to take them in

> with me.

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> Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me,

> "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I

> am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at

> me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I

> answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

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> P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I

> sent it to you to allow you to forward it to

> those who are.

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> Us senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets.

> The tv remote and the garage door remote are

> about all we can handle.

[Redwizard]

You hit that nail on the head

[anothernewbie]

I hear ya Moose, I'm still trying to figure out what an IPOD is for!

[RONIN II]

I love it! I'm not 50 yet, but close.

Everytime they ask me "paper or plastic", I ask for berlap.

GPS...to me that's an insult to my intelligence. I'm a firefighter, I'm supposed to know where I'm going. Relying too much on technology will turn your brain to mush!

RONIN

P.S. Ever have someone text you from the backseat? Arrrrgghh!

[Francie26]

I love it! I'm not 50 yet, but close.

Everytime they ask me "paper or plastic", I ask for berlap.

GPS...to me that's an insult to my intelligence. I'm a firefighter, I'm supposed to know where I'm going. Relying too much on technology will turn your brain to mush!

RONIN

P.S. Ever have someone text you from the backseat? Arrrrgghh!

hahahaha That is soooo funny!!! No, I haven't had that happen, but my grandchildren call me on the phone from another room in the house.

[69mustang]

My vcr is still flashing 12:00

[myst]

Oh my.............Am roaring in laughter!~~~~!!!

Have had a couple of those problems.................

thanks for the post Moose.........needed this laughter today!!!

myst

[rvb4jan1]

Oh yes. My granddaughter sent me a text with the directions to her soccor game. The only problem I had was she was sitting in the da_ _ back seat of the car!! I blew a head gasket that day and she thought it was hilarious. Go figure.

[Shinnidan]

buwhahahaah....yup keeping up with the kids regarding new gadgets and aps...becomes tiresome. But i do keep up...for personal reasons. i like to know i can still connect with the kids in some ways. and i make sure i learn all i can so they ask me the questions i can answer...and not vise versa. hehe

[tommyboy]

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push the Coke aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll

water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the

floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up

the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to

do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really

baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

[billy goat]

I can identify with the frustrations of those embracing the technocentric generation. My generation helped put the man on the moon and we got along quite nicely without all the gizmos. Trouble is...the very goals we worked to achieve led to advancements that supposedly benefits the whole of mankind. My only regret is that I didn't invest heavily in the semi-conductor industry. I have become more eccentric because of all of this and find myself left out. I am uncomfortable with new stuff but relish the quiet and solitude my attitude gives me.