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Irish and break-ins


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Paddy – Hey, Mick. I heard you had a break-in the other night.
Mick – I did, Paddy. I saw two buggers messing around in the shed. Takin’ the kids bikes, they were.
Paddy – Feckers. Did you call the Guards?
Mick – I did. They told me they didn’t have anyone in the area, so to stay indoors.
Paddy – Bloody cutbacks. What did you do?
Mick – I called them back and told them to not bother comin’ as I’d shot the pair of them.
Paddy – Jesus. 
Mick – Next of all, an armed unit of the RRP arrives, quickly followed by two garda cars, an ambulance, a fire engine and the whole area was lit up by a helicopter over the house.
Paddy – Holy God!
Mick – The two boys were still in the shed and they were arrested.

This big detective comes up to me and says, ‘I thought you said you shot them!’

I says to him, ‘I thought you said you’d no one in the area.

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