Deep Thoughts

[delta22]

For those of us with a weird sense of humour.... you know who you/we are! …Nice to know you're not alone isn't it?

WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL

NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

I have kleptomania,

but when it gets bad,

I take something for it.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Heaven is Where:

The Police are British,

The Chefs are Italian,

The Mechanics are German,

The Lovers are French

and

It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:

The Police are German,

The Chefs are British,

The Mechanics are French,

The Lovers are Swiss

and

It's all organized by the Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah

Set your watch back 20 years.

A bartender is just a pharmacist

with a limited inventory.

I may be schizophrenic,

but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.

Nobody is Perfect.

Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY:

Five million people,

Fifteen last names.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

In Memoriam

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,

it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person,

which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote

"The Hokey Pokey",died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

money isn't everything,

but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion

that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Red meat is not bad for you

Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,

not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE

Sometimes I even put it in the food.

--

A friend is someone who knows all of your faults but still loves you anyway.

Live each day as your last, for we never know our time here on earth. Love and Peace My Friends.

[Tiffany23]

Just for the record, I'm British and I'm an Awesome cook! Just saying...

cute babe...cute

[delta22]

Tiff honey I didn't know you were british,I thought you were an American Admirals daughter! I have no doubt your a great cook ,but sweetheart I have traveled the globe for over 40 years been pretty much all over and have yet to find a country with an english resturant lol ,not talking about a Pub and Pub grub ,but an actuall english resturant,h e l l I can't even remember seeing any in england lol.

[RodandStaff]

Good one's Delta... I love a good laugh!

[umbertino]

Quote

The Chefs are Italian,

End Quote

Thanks for stating that, my Friend...Smile... I ain't no Chef BTW. ... Would love to be as I adore eating well...But I'm afraid I'm still in Survival cooking mode.

Quote

The Lovers are French

End Quote

Any chance we might debate on that one?

Quote

It's all organized by the Italians.

End Quote

Darn... as an Italian.. I can only say that you're totally right... Unfortunately.

Edited January 26, 2012 by umbertino

[Tiffany23]

Tiff honey I didn't know you were british,I thought you were an American Admirals daughter! I have no doubt your a great cook ,but sweetheart I have traveled the globe for over 40 years been pretty much all over and have yet to find a country with an english resturant lol ,not talking about a Pub and Pub grub ,but an actuall english resturant,h e l l I can't even remember seeing any in england lol.

Mum's British, Dad's military..AF babe..he doesn't drive boats.

Yea...most of my dishes are Asian..but I make a mean Shepards pie that would knock ur socks off....at the RV party, I'll make u some!

[Shabibilicious]

First of all......"I wish I had a dime for every dime I have". (Arthur)

Mum's British, Dad's military..AF babe..he doesn't drive boats.

Yea...most of my dishes are Asian..but I make a mean Shepards pie that would knock ur socks off....at the RV party, I'll make u some!

Gross Tiff!!!! What do Shepards taste like?

GO RV, then BV

[delta22]

Tiff honey,I accept the Shepards pie,one of my favorite's . But for me that falls under Pub Grub . Thanks for the offer.

[BrokeNoMore]

I'm crushed. The Canadians got left out.

I guess the Americans did, too!!!

[AKVET]

Delta good laugh enjoyed it.

Tiff I like a good shepards pie but you have to leave the red meat out of it.