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Smokey Mtn. Dinar Posted September 16, 2023 Report Share 😂😂 Standing by a cemetery I saw two little kids. They looked very afraid as they were just standing in front of the gates. So I asked them what was wrong and they said to me that they were afraid of cemeteries. So I offered to walk them by the front gate to cross the street and I said to them I hope I made you feel better. And then I said " I used to be afraid of cemeteries when I was alive too." I've never seen two little kids run so fast in my life! 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Smokey Mtn. Dinar Posted September 16, 2023 Report Share A young Arkansan boy goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?" "Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says "and I'll get him in the course." So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't >believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him. So she has him shoot the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited. "Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does". "Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?" The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!" The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville , he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States , and you already know what a lying ***** his girlfriend turned out to be. 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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divemaster5734 Posted September 16, 2023 Report Share Musk is starting to scare me... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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