Silly Smiles ll+ *** Warning Objectionable Material Inside - Enter at your own risk ***

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Caution in regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit.

Before you come to Alabama to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially around Lake Martin! There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...

So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our woods, river bottoms, or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.

Our lakes are full of gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guy wearing speedos

Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes

Mountain lions have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.

The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.

Snakes don’t even get me started on the copper headed rattle moccasins here and the diamond back water Cobras

The poison ivy has overtaken all other vegetation

We have had bear sightings at every park and town they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms.

Watch out for the jackalopes; they have been extremely aggressive this season.

We have Bigfoot invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.

Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.

Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some Alabama grasshoppers.

Scorpions have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.

I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.

Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.

Oh and no one is vaccinated!

Come at your own risk!

I hear Arizona and New Mexico are really nice though

 

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[divemaster5734]

[divemaster5734]

[divemaster5734]

[divemaster5734]

I wonder why this was never mentioned during the 90's.

The plague mentioned was around 1350AD.

Around 700 years ago, which means the antibodies were passed along to new generations.

Some of us could have been immune the whole time.

Why would this be buried?

[divemaster5734]

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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.

She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'

'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

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