Lexophilia

[FlyHi]

LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?  I don't know but they are clever and will give you a few groans as well! Why, a lexophile of course .
 
How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it. 

 

Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer! 

 

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.

 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

 

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool 

 

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

 

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

 

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

 

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

 

When chemists die, they barium.

 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

 

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

 

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

 

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 

Broken pencils are pointless.

 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.

 

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

Velcro - what a rip off!

[bigwave]

Thanks HiFly - someone is very creative! 

[Shabibilicious]

Awesomely Ugh-worthy, FlyHi.....Thanks.  

GO RV, then BV

Edited April 25, 2016 by Shabibilicious

[Jaxinjersey]

Shabs' opinions cover some splintering points when he's sitting on the fence!  

[Shabibilicious]

14 hours ago, Jaxinjersey said:

Shabs' opinions cover some splintering points when he's sitting on the fence!  

Ahh Jax.......my little one sided coin buddy.  

GO RV, then BV

Edited April 26, 2016 by Shabibilicious

[Jaxinjersey]

2 hours ago, Shabibilicious said:

Ahh Jax.......my little one sided coin buddy.  

GO RV, then BV

Good one Shabs!  How about this instead...

Jax has balanced multi pronged stances, while hoping the bouncing ball of reason is grasped at the right time!  

[Shabibilicious]

3 minutes ago, Jaxinjersey said:

Good one Shabs!  How about this instead...

Jax has balanced multi pronged stances, while hoping the bouncing ball of reason is grasped at the right time!  

Shabs believes Jax just referred to his grasper of the reason ball self in the third person.  

GO RV, then BV

[Jaxinjersey]

Oooops!  Multi posted!  Sorry!   

 

[Jaxinjersey]

8 minutes ago, Shabibilicious said:

Shabs believes Jax just referred to his grasper of the reason ball self in the third person.  

GO RV, then BV

It's just a game Shabs... just a game!  

[Shabibilicious]

2 hours ago, Jaxinjersey said:

It's just a game Shabs... just a game!  

You don't have to tell me twice.  

GO RV, then BV

[umbertino]

AWESOME! Grazie

[umbertino]

21 hours ago, bigwave said:

Thanks HiFly - someone is very creative! 

Agreed