IT'S SO HOT IN KANSAS....

[Snotrocket]

IT'S SO HOT in KANSAS .....

.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.

.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance

.....hot water comes from both taps.

.....you can make sun tea instantly.

.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.

.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand).

.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.

.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?

.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.

.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY in KANSAS that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

[cris]

ITS SO HOT IN ARIZONA...

...Faucets don't have a hot water dial.

...Freon is the state's second largest import.

...Coppertone is subsidized by the state government.

...When she first visited, Jessica Alba was surprised to find something hotter than herself.

...College students don't bother with garments.

...Neither do senior citizens.

...Al Gore chose it to shoot significant parts of an Inconvenient Truth here.

...Road surfaces are a HazMat.

...Swimming pools are large spas.

...The gasoline almost costs more than water.

...The open desert is coated with a thick sheet of glass.

[Snotrocket]

Okay Cris - you win!

[cris]

Okay Cris - you win!

Lol....just trying to get others to bring in their jokes

like this one

[bamagirl]

I'm not even gonna try to top those, you both described Alabama perfect.... the flippin humidity is killin me!!!

[DiveDeepSix]

Love it, thanks for the laughs. Jessica Alba, ouch, saucer of milk table for two, MEOWW!! :lol:

[pattyangel]

Snotrocket. Stay Cool, no literately, stay cool. Texas went through the same thing last summer. Terribly hot.

Some of the things you mentioned were so funny, but true.

[hame55]

IT'S SO HOT in KANSAS .....

...

OH SNOT.........

It's snot what you think.....you know it figures you live in Kansas, the white bread clueless state....judging from your right wingnut posts, it's the perfect place for you - wher eit boils your brain.

Please stop with these types of posts!

Edited July 20, 2012 by carlablum

[pattyangel]

Hame55, I hope I'm reading your post wrong but I getting some rude vibes from it. Know need to be rude, its all fun. Chill

[Snotrocket]

OH SNOT.........

It's snot what you think.....you know it figures you live in Kansas, the white bread clueless state....judging from your right wingnut posts, it's the perfect place for you - wher eit boils your brain.[/font][/size][/color]

Hey Hame - How do you really feel? I'm flattered that you took the time to crawl out of your OWS hole to lob such a pathetic insult at me AND the great state of Kansas....CLASSY! After all, everyone knows that you pseudo-intellectual libtards on the east coast are so much smarter than the rest of us - LMAO!

[DinarMillionaire]

IT'S SO HOT in KANSAS .....

...

OH SNOT.........

It's snot what you think.....you know it figures you live in Kansas, the white bread clueless state....judging from your right wingnut posts, it's the perfect place for you - wher eit boils your brain.[/font]

Please stop with these types of posts!

Hame55, It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. At least Snotrocket has a brain to boil, which is more than can be said for you. Being a rude pompous jerk to Snotrocket and an entire state was uncalled for and undeserving. You've only shown what the limits of your knowledge outside of the great state of North Carolina are. I don't even give you the distinction of representing a whole state, you're not that important.

[cajunrescuemedic]

In Louisiana, it was so windy the other day I watched a chicken lay the same egg 3 times !!!

[pattyangel]

In Louisiana, it was so windy the other day I watched a chicken lay the same egg 3 times !!!

Canjunrescuemedic....Wow three times, that is to funny. :lmao:

Needed the humor, thanks a bunch.

[divemaster5734]

I had to cancel the day because it's raining too hard.

I melt in anything over 75, can't imagine what it's like for you.

We had a day here of 80 something, then it's time to do a dive.. ahh cool cool water...

Be safe, drink lots of water.

[divemaster5734]

hame55

Wow, REALLY????

Did one of your "alternative lifestyle" progressive partners sneak that in while you were disposing a dead gerbil or did that "just happen" right after you saw obummers new unpopularity rating?

[cris]

ITS SO HOT IN TEXAS.....

You no longer associate bridges with water.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car

It's so hot the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

It's so hot that potatoes cook underground, just pull one out & add butter

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.

Some final words about the great state of Texas

It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.

It's a common misconception that JR Ewing still lives here. That was a TV show people! Come on! Chuck Norris, on the other hand, is a real, karate-choppin' Texas Ranger.