Here's A Funny for the Ladies

[pattyangel]

Matters not if your female or male...we all can relate.

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week on the Oprah Channel there was a whole “rerun” show on how great menopause will be. Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60, 70 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired moustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms – we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts – we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid -life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

And if you think I'm in "mid-life," BLESS YOU!

I can honestly say I'm holding up okay.

[Tiffani929]

But..but..I don't want to be a flying squirrel in drag !

[bamagirl]

But..but..I don't want to be a flying squirrel in drag !

If the dinars ever RV we won't have to.....we'll be able to afford repairs as needed, lol!!

[Linda]

Thank you Patty...so true, so true...the benefits of longer life are great!!!! lets work on those 'wings' girls...

[Tiffani929]

If the dinars ever RV we won't have to.....we'll be able to afford repairs as needed, lol!!

LOL, damn right Bama! I think we should make a make though than none of us will allow one another to get carried away. We don't want to look like this:

[dog53]

Its just as bad for us men Patty hahahahahaha Instead of our hair slowing down growing it speeds up. Problem is its not on our heads like we want it . Oh no that we keep losing . Its our nose and ears that all of a sudden has taken off like crab grass that's run amuck. It sprouts out in new places where we never even had hair. hahahahaha Getting old ain't for wimps that's for sure.

[pattyangel]

LOL, damn right Bama! I think we should make a make though than none of us will allow one another to get carried away. We don't want to look like this:

Tiffani929, my oh my... now that's a bad case of menopause.

Besides the flying squirrel in drag. I've seen some remarkable moustache's out there.

Dog53, I know what you mean about the sprouting of the hair. My father is king of grab grass. I don't get it he's always been bald. Go figure

[bamagirl]

Lol Tiffani....just a little perk me up as needed not a total overhaul!! (the flying squirrel in drag thing will probably give me nightmares for the next week)

[Tiffani929]

Lol Tiffani....just a little perk me up as needed not a total overhaul!! (the flying squirrel in drag thing will probably give me nightmares for the next week)

LOL right??! That's a new "person" I thought after the stupid Geico high five commercial I'd never look at squirrels the same. I was wrong.