Vat Da Heck, Ole ?

[Tiffany23]

Vat Da Heck, Ole ?

Ole's car was hit by a truck in an accident. In court, the trucking

company's lawyer was questioning Ole.

'Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, ?'

asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, 'Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had yust loaded my

favorite mule, Bessie, into da.....'

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer

the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm

fine'?

Ole said, 'Vell, I had yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas

driving down da road... ..

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Judge, I am trying to

establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told

the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several

weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he

is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said

to the lawyer, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite

mule, Bessie'.

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Vell, as I vas saying, I had

yust loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving

her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop

sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas trown into one ditch

and Bessie vas trown into da other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't

vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I

knew she was in terrible shape yust by her groans'. 'Shortly after da

accident da Highway Patrolman, he came to da scene.. He could hear

Bessie moaning and groaning so he vent over to her'..

'After he looked at her and saw her fatal condition he took out his

gun and shot her right 'tween da eyes.

Den da Patrolman, he came across da road, gun still smoking, looked at

me and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now vat da heck vould YOU say?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned.' Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

[NotReallyTex]

I had to read it twice :lol: Haven't had my coffee yet.

[Slaydadea]

Vat Da Heck, Ole ?

Ole's car was hit by a truck in an accident. In court, the trucking

company's lawyer was questioning Ole.

'Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, ?'

asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, 'Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had yust loaded my

favorite mule, Bessie, into da.....'

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer

the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm

fine'?

Ole said, 'Vell, I had yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas

driving down da road... ..

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Judge, I am trying to

establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told

the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several

weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he

is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said

to the lawyer, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite

mule, Bessie'.

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Vell, as I vas saying, I had

yust loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving

her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop

sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas trown into one ditch

and Bessie vas trown into da other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't

vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I

knew she was in terrible shape yust by her groans'. 'Shortly after da

accident da Highway Patrolman, he came to da scene.. He could hear

Bessie moaning and groaning so he vent over to her'..

'After he looked at her and saw her fatal condition he took out his

gun and shot her right 'tween da eyes.

Den da Patrolman, he came across da road, gun still smoking, looked at

me and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now vat da heck vould YOU say?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned.' Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Big SMILE Thanks!

[BadCobra]

Plusses! Thanks.

[Marquess]

Good one. I believe I've felt like Bessie on a couple of Saturday mornings.

[patrick50]

you made me laugh all day tiffany!i will try and add one joke

take care have a great day!

there were three guys talking in a pub.two of them are talking about the amount of control

they have over their wives,while the third remains quiet.

after awhile one of the first two turns to the third and says,well what about you,

what sort of control do you have over your wife?

the third fellow says I'll tell you the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.

the first two guys were amazed"what happened then then?they asked,

she said get out from under the bed and fight like a man