Lend a helping hand!

[Tiffany23]

Hi Friends,

I work as a waitress at a local club...things are pretty slow right now with the weather and economy being what it is...so I have to "entertain" the customers to separate them from their dosh (british for $). The best way I've found to do that is to tell them jokes...so I'm soliciting your best bar jokes. I'll leave it to you on what rating it is (G to what ever the Mods will allow) but it has to be relatively short and of course witty. Pls no racist jokes or ones that belittle someone else...

Oh by the way, I need a fresh batch each day, so if you run across one, please please please send it to me via my profile!

Thank you!!!!

[chuckray]

http://www.famousquotesandjokes.com/

[patrick50]

I saw this on a sign driving yesterday maybe one your customers will think about.

Three men walk into a bar

the forth one ducks!

[bald1]

Babys first doctors visit

A woman and a baby were in the doctors examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the babys exam. The doctor arrived and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed. Breast fed she replied..... Well strip down to your waist the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed, the doctor said, No wonder this baby is underweight! You don't have and milk....

I know I'm his Grandma But I'm glad I came.

[Econman33]

Hi Friends,

I work as a waitress at a local club...things are pretty slow right now with the weather and economy being what it is...so I have to "entertain" the customers to separate them from their dosh (british for $). The best way I've found to do that is to tell them jokes...so I'm soliciting your best bar jokes. I'll leave it to you on what rating it is (G to what ever the Mods will allow) but it has to be relatively short and of course witty. Pls no racist jokes or ones that belittle someone else...

Oh by the way, I need a fresh batch each day, so if you run across one, please please please send it to me via my profile!

Thank you!!!!

A 6'3" 240lb cowboy walks in a bar. He goes up to bartender and ask for for a shot of whiskey with a real attitute. He chugs it and slams shot glass on the bar says give me another. He's a real badazz. Slams the second glass down and walks out of the bar. He walks back in the bar and yells " what piece of sh_t painted the balls on my horse yellow. Over in the corner a 6'6" 300 pound guy stands up and says I did. The smaller first cowboy says OK just wanted to let you know the first coat is dry and it is ready for a second coat.

[magawatt]

Two guys were walkling down the sidewalk when a dog in front of them twists around and starts licking it's testicles. One of the guys says "Gee, I wish I could do that." To which his companion replied "Well you'd better pet him first."