Bama Girl Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people homeschooled by day drinkers… This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!! Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions! Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – use them! Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!” Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands??? I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are! Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere. Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions. I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?” When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA? 4 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokey Mtn. Dinar Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 Bama Girl, THANK YOU. I just had a great laugh! 😷 😂 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bama Girl Posted April 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 Glad you enjoyed the jokes Smokey, we all need a bit of humor during this virus situation. 😊 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umbertino Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 6 hours ago, Bama Girl said: I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people homeschooled by day drinkers… This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!! Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions! Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – use them! Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!” Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands??? I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are! Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere. Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions. I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?” When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA? Fantastic, BG.......And true dat....I'm usually extra-slim but after a month plus of staying at home I started growing a sort of belly...Never happened before in my life ( I'm about to turn 63) Best and stay safe all of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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