moose 57 Posted October 18, 2017 Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 CONSERVATIVE HUMOR: The Wheel and Beer... The Wheel and Beer . . . . The two most important events in all of the inventions of the worldare beer and the wheel. Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages wereformed. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These two were thefoundation of modern civilization and, together, were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1. Liberals 2. Conservatives. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ atnight while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of whatis known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were less skilled at hunting learned to live off theconservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing thesewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became knownas girlie-men. Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include thedomestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, andthe concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided. Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons. Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most preferwhite wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fishbut like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food arestandard Liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note:many Liberal women have higher testosterone levels than theirmen. Most college professors, social workers, personal injuryattorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are Liberals. Liberals even meddled in ournational pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because itwasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still providefor their women. Conservatives are often farmers & ranchers, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, membersof the military, airline pilots, and generally anyone who worksproductively. Conservatives who own companies hire otherconservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" theproducers and decide what to do with the production. Liberalsbelieve Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is whymost of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives werecoming to settle America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamedand created a scheme of trying to get more for nothing. Mostrecently, Liberals focus heavily on promoting divisiveness andbig government to achieve their selfish ends. Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be notedthat a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of theabsolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately toother true believers and to just piss off more liberals. And there you have it, let your next action reveal your trueself. I'm going to have another beer. h.a.n.d. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted October 18, 2017 Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 ...Or two!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowGlobe7 Posted October 18, 2017 Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 lol love it!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muleslayer Posted October 19, 2017 Report Share Posted October 19, 2017 8 hours ago, moose 57 said: Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Shame! the PC term Is TGirls! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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