Hot day in MN

[moose 57]

It was a hot day in Minnesota .

Helga hung out the wash to dry and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hotter dan hell today," she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street .

She passed a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?"

So she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink.

"Ya know," Helga said in a timid voice, "I don't usually go into bars, but today I vill make an exception.. It is zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer."

"Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked.

Helga blushed and timidly replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yur viener?"

[Nadita]

very funny... Do you have any jokes about olie and svet...?

Minnesota nice ")

[kiteman]

It was a hot day in Minnesota .

Helga hung out the wash to dry and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hotter dan hell today," she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street .

She passed a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?"

So she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink.

"Ya know," Helga said in a timid voice, "I don't usually go into bars, but today I vill make an exception.. It is zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer."

"Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked.

Helga blushed and timidly replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yur viener?"

A few day later ol' Helga notice a little bit of skin irritation on her face, probably from all the heat and persperation from the last few days. So she calls her girlfriend Marta and tells her of her predicament. Marta tells her she should have a milk bath down at the local spa.

So off to the spa ol' Helga goes. She goes in and tells the lady at the desk about her situation and the young lady tells her she has an open appointment.

Please go back to room 3 and await your assistant. Ol' Helga is lovin' the spa experience so far. Nice people, nice place, easy access. " I could get used to this" she says to herself.

So she's awaiting in room three when her technician comes in.

"Yes Miss Helga, I'm going to need you to disrobe and recline in this nice tub we have here for you".

Ol' Helga meekly undresses, trying to hide her wares from the young female technician, and slinks into the tub. The young spa worker is reading over Olga's paper work and says "Ah, a milk bath today I see. That will be very refreshing after the last few days!"

"Ya" Olga replies.

"Would you like that Pasturized" the young tech asks.

"NAH, just up to me boobs, I can splash it from there!"

[DRV1804]

Im from Minnesota and can totally hear that accent!!!! LOVE IT LOL

[krome2ez]

Uff da !

3/4 Norvegian here.

Pass the lefse, eh.

Not a Minnisoda (miss spelled intentionally) thing, but still funny....

Bagpipes at a funeral

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently I'm still lost.... it's a man thing

l

[dinarsoulmate]

Thanks, Moose, for the good ole Minnie story. I am originally from there, but, am a transplanted Arizonan now. I'm half German, but appreciate all the Norwegian humor!