COSTCO

[Qman]

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Lilly, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my�story).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends ...... it will be their Laugh for the day.

[Darin]

Wow, I think that is the funniest thing I've read on this site to date.... LMAO

I like how it states that the person is no longer able to shop there anymore either. HAHA

[luv2hike27]

now that there is funny!

[jmcofield]

LMAO

SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING MY FATHERINLAW WOULD SAY

AN YES HE IS RETIRED

[Funky Cold Medinar]

LMAO a slight twist.....as you deliver the punch line and she/he stands there shocked and bewildered, aggressively begin humping her/his leg, and as she/he tries to pull away, explain to her/him that's it's best just to let you finish and then growl a little bit, and as they are escorting you out of the building, sniff crotches all the way out and then do the butt drag on thier welcome mat, lol, I guess i have more of a hands/paws on comedy style and always tend to get carried away, lol, tOO funny, thanks for sharing. Countless blessings and endless peace to ALL....GO RV!