The Beer Theory

[Man_Kind]

Beer Theories...

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Babe Ruth

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

Lyndon B. Johnson

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Paul Horning

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

H. L. Mencken

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

George Bernard Shaw

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

Dave Barry

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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!

W. C. Fields

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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

Professor Irwin Corey

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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a support Group Salvation in a can!

Leo Durocher

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One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

[Shabibilicious]

Great thread Mankind. I myself am a whiskey drinker and a golfer. I have thought about this many times since taking up with the bottle years ago. Scotch drinkers created golf and they would do a shot of scotch a hole. There are 18 shots in a bottle of scotch......hence, 18 hole golf course......(myth, but a good story). Now, when I was younger, I would routinely play 27-36 holes of golf a day. That is a lot of whiskey. Now that I am older and suffer back pain. I wish there were only 11-13 shots in a bottle.

GO RV, then BV

[Man_Kind]

Great thread Mankind. I myself am a whiskey drinker and a golfer. I have thought about this many times since taking up with the bottle years ago. Scotch drinkers created golf and they would do a shot of scotch a hole. There are 18 shots in a bottle of scotch......hence, 18 hole golf course......(myth, but a good story). Now, when I was younger, I would routinely play 27-36 holes of golf a day. That is a lot of whiskey. Now that I am older and suffer back pain. I wish there were only 11-13 shots in a bottle.

GO RV, then BV

Shibby !!! How are you ! That's funny stuff . My whiskey days still linger . Started playing golf recently because my days playing ice hockey took it's toll on my knees. Being Irish, Scottish and Italian, I don't see myself slowing down anytime soon with the bottle but , I have toned it down to making my own wine and killing a bottle or two.

Oh, by the way , Miss Rhode Island says hi and she needs to borrow one of your golf balls. Hers got stuck the garden hose.