delta22

Two Choices What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.' Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son? The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.' Then he told the following story: Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.' Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way Shay!' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team. 'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.' Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity, or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process? A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats its least fortunate amongst them. You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward May your day, be a Shay Day.

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Babe Ruth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Lyndon B. Johnson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Paul Horning ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." H. L. Mencken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" George Bernard Shaw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.! W. C. Fields ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One night at Cheers, Cliff CLAvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm: "Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

I Miss Bill Clinton !! From a show on Canadian TV, there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton. "Yep, that's right-I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President. Number 1 - He played the sax. Number 2 - He smoked weed. Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women. Even now? Look at him...his wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water. Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada. When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one." The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know." Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes." ... ya gotta love it!

Thanks now that was funny for the rest of us ,I dont think he was laughing !

To Pee or Not To Pee Now here is a proposal worth considering. Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes & the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem). What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. So, here is my question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT----doing drugs while I work. Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could call the program "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"! Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though. Something has to change in this country - AND SOON! P.S. Just a thought, all politicians should have to pass a urine test too!

Maybe he's counting each island in Hawai as a state and Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands,but since he visited 57 with one more to go maybe Kenya ? What a Schmuck,any second grade school child in any third world country has a better grasp of the USA then that idiot.

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot, Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot. There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me, For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born, Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn. We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn, We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.. We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince, And Eddie Fisher married Liz , and no one's seen him since. We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee ' And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me. Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many, And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney . And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me. We fell for Frankie Avalon , Annette was oh, so nice, And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.. We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three, Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me. Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp, And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp. We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T, And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me. We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe. For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me. We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Lead. And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees, Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me. We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars, And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars. And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and '***' meant fancy-free, And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me. We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag, And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag. And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea, And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me. Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks, And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks. And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee, And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me. We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues, We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me. There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill, And fish were not called Wanda , and cats were not called Bill. And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three, And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me. But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say, And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A. They send us invitations to join AARP, We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me. So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans, And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines. And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be, Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me. If you didn't grow up in the fifty's, you missed the greatest time in history.

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Tennessee!

Three men were hiking through a forest... when they came upon a large raging, violent river . Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: ' God, please give me the strength to cross the river. Poof!!! God gave him big arms and strong legs... and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: 'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river' Poof!!! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs... and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river' Poof!!! HE WAS TURNED INTO A WOMAN!!! She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream... and walked across the bridge. Guys, if at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

YES, I'M A GREAT AMERICAN I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American. I am a Master Mason and believe in God. I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way! I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American. I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it! I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to. My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it. I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already. I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This isAMERICA.We like it the way it is! If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. Get a Job and do your part! I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think. I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed inAMERICA! If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know. We want our country back!

This is laughing out loud (LOL) funny. Ira John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John. "Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. "Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school." "We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy. "What did you watch?" asked Marsha. "The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen." "I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!" The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish... All before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We're such slow learners... God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body! God's Pharmacy! Amazing! A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes. A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food. A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function. Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys. Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.. Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them). Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility. Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics. Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts. Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

Be free, ride a Harley everyday. Dr. Monty's orders. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PROOF THAT WE HAVE SOME IDIOTS IN WASHINGTON > > > Georgia Arms is the 5th largest retailer of .223 Ammo in America . They > sell > 9mm, .45, .223 ammunition. They normally buy spent brass from the US > Department of Defense. Spent brass is "one time used" shell cases used by > our Military for training purposes. > > They buy the brass, recondition it, and then reload the brass for resale > to > Law Enforcement, Gun Clubs, Gun Shops, and stores like Wal-Mart. They > normally buy 30,000 lbs of spent brass at a time. > > This week the DoD wrote a letter to the owner of Georgia Arms and informed > him that from now on the DoD will be destroying the spent brass, shredding > it. It will no longer be available to the ammo makers, unless they buy it > in a scrap shredded condition (which they have no use for). > > The shredded brass is now going to be sold by the DoD to China as scrap > metal, after the DoD pays for it to be shredded. The DoD is selling the > brass to China for less money than the ammo makers have been paying, plus > the DoD has to pay to have the brass shredded and do the accounting > paperwork. > > This sure helps the economy now doesn't it? Sell cheaper to China , and do > not sell at all to a proven US business. Any hidden agenda working here? > Obama going after the Firearms Industry and our ammunition!! > The Georgia Arms owner even related a story that one of his competitors > had > already purchased a load of brass last week. The DoD contacted him this > week > and said they were sending someone over to make sure it was destroyed. > Shell > cases he had already bought! > > The brass has no value to the ammo maker if it is > destroyed/shredded/melted. > > The ammo manufacturer only uses the empty brass cases to reload different > calibers, mainly .223 bullets. > > The owner of Georgia Arms says that he will have to lay off at least half > of > his 60 workers, within 2-3 months if the DoD will no longer sell spent > brass > cases to the industry. Georgia Arms has 2-3 months of inventory to use, by > summer they're out. > > If the Reloading Industry has to purchase new manufacture brass cases, > then > the cost of ammunition will double or even triple, plus the government wants to > add > a 500% tax on each shell. > > You can read the information and see the DoD letter to Georgia Arms here: > The Shootist Site > <http://www.theshootist.net/2009/03/dod-ends-sale-of-expended-military.html>'>http://www.theshootist.net/2009/03/dod-ends-sale-of-expended-military.html> > http://www.theshootist.net/2009/03/dod-ends-sale-of-expended-military.html

Man I remember when Banks used to compete and offer all kinds of freebies and dinnerware etc. to open an account with their branch. Now they nickel and dime you to death with all their B.S. fees. They mismanage and outright steal our money and expect us to just keep coming back for more. Well here is an idea that I put forward for consideration. Stop using banks for a month or so, just think if you pay your bills online most charge a fee,pay by phone same thing,yet if you mail a check no fee. Well as inconvineant as that might be ,if we all did it for a couple of months,use up whats in the account stop making deposits,use money orders etc. withdraw all savings for awhile (hell they aren't paying intrest worth a damn ) then I think that one they will feel it in cash flow and two they might realise that we do have the power to take back control. Another option is going back to making the gov. send hard copy checks thru the mail,no more direct deposit for awhile,so the banks would lose the use of your money there also. Believe me if enough people did it they would feel it.

This is the best analogy yet! Leave it to Maxine to come up with a solution For the mess that America is now in economically. I bought a bird feeder. I hung It on my back porch and filled It with seed. What a beauty of A bird feeder it was, as I filled it Lovingly with seed. Within a Week we had hundreds of birds Taking advantage of the Continuous flow of free and Easily accessible food. But then the birds started Building nests in the boards Of the patio, above the table, And next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was Everywhere: on the patio tile, The chairs, the table .. Everywhere! Then some of the birds Turned mean. They would Dive bomb me and try to Peck me even though I had Fed them out of my own Pocket. And others birds were Boisterous and loud. They Sat on the feeder and Squawked and screamed at All hours of the day and night And demanded that I fill it When it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even Sit on my own back porch Anymore. So I took down the Bird feeder and in three days The birds were gone. I cleaned Up their mess and took down The many nests they had built All over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like It used to be .... Quiet, serene.... And no one demanding their Rights to a free meal. Now let's see. Our government gives out Free food, subsidized housing, Free medical care and free Education, and allows anyone Born here to be an automatic Citizen. Then the illegal's came by the Tens of thousands. Suddenly Our taxes went up to pay for Free services; small apartments Are housing 5 families; you Have to wait 6 hours to be seen By an emergency room doctor; Your child's second grade class is Behind other schools because Over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a Bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank Talk to me in English, and People waving flags other Than 'Old Glory' are Squawking and screaming In the streets, demanding More rights and free liberties. Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government To take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, Just continue cleaning up the poop -- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hotmail is redefining busy with tools for the New Busy. Get more from your inbox. See how.

JOE LEGAL vs. JOSE ILLEGAL You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal". Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California . Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted. Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table". Ready? Now pay attention... Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has $31,231.00. Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200..00 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has $31,200.00. Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $24,031.00. Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00. Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00. Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00. Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631.00. Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $ 31,200.00. Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00. Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00. Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc. Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month. Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work. Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family. Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children get a government sponsored lunch.. Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home. Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay. Do you get it, now? If you vote for or support any politician that supports illegal aliens... You are part of the problem! It's way PAST time to take a stand for America and Americans!

Subject: FW: ass Kickin > > > Rules for Kickin' Ass > > Rules for the Non-Military > > Make sure you read #13 > > Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our > great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the > military. > > For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are > a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: > > > 1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) > during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass. > > 2.. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag > in protest - kick their ass. > > 3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the > highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing > otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans > fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. > Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make > this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks > their ass. > > > 4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. > Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling > Others that you used to be 'Special Forces'. > > Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were > seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and get your > ass kicked. > > > 5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, > 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such > ignorance > deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt). > > 6. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard 'non-military', > inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass. > > > 7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on > > your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your > heart. > Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be > carrying her > - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe > ass-kicking. > > > 9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying > it! > If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your > ass! > > 10. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines*), 'Grunt' (*Army*), > 'Squid' (*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers'(*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of > endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service > member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them > could get your > ass kicked. > > 11. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the > military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and > religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please > remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, > marines and airmen > far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for > our > military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our > Country > would get it's ass kicked. > > > 12. It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of > the press. > > It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. > > It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom > to demonstrate. > > It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, > and whose coffin > is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag. > > AND ONE MORE: > > 13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish - > KICK THEIR ASS. >

FYI Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks dog. #1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural. #2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it. #3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases. #4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged. #5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals. #6. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area. #7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease. #8. Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene. #9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent. #10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state. Texas : #1. Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. Buzzards eat dead coyote. And you wonder why California is broke????

That was funny,thanks for making me spew my coffee all over the keyboard.

Sorry Zig,there were pictures there. I am not very adapt with this computer stuff and havent figured out how to add the pics. Sorry, I am from the pen and paper era.

By Lou Pritchett, Procter & Gamble A LETTER FROM A PROCTER AND GAMBLE EXECUTIVE TO THE PRESIDENT* THE LAST SENTENCE IS THE MOST CHILLING Lou Pritchett is one of corporate America 's true living legends- an acclaimed author, dynamic teacher and one of the world's highest rated speakers. Successful corporate executives everywhere recognize him as the foremost leader in change management.. Lou changed the way America does business by creating an audacious concept that came to be known as "partnering." Pritchett rose from soap salesman to Vice-President, Sales and Customer Development for Procter and Gamble and over the course of 36 years, made corporate history. AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA Dear President Obama: You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me. You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you. You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support. You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American. You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll. You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core. You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others. You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.. You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America ' crowd and deliver this message abroad. You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector. You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one. You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves. You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world. You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations. You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals. You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people. You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient. You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do. You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaugh's, Hannity's, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view. You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing. Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years. Lou Pritchett * * This letter was sent to the NY Times but they never acknowledged it. Big surprise. Since it hit the internet, however, it has had over 500,000 hits. Keep it going. All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing. It's happening right now

Grandmammi your responce is so out of line with what the article expresses that I wonder if you can comprehend what you read . By the way the same goes for your responce to 3 cheers for obama.

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?" The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00. Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket." She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?" Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet." This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot!

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day. 7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.. 8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?" 10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. 11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. 13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck. And last, but certainly not least: 14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff. Ultimate True Test: Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who's the happiest to see you.