pre deployment fighting

[USNPhoto]

It seems like there are a lot of active duty or vets on this sight so i thought i would petition a little advice. I am a 17 yr sailor and i am getting ready to deploy to japan for a 2 year unaccompanied tour. I am leaving in a couple of days and i am finding that the wife and i can't even hardly talk to each other. i know that most of it is my fault. I didn't have this problem when i went to Afghanistan as we seemed close before i left but this deployment seems different. we are used to being apart cause that is the nature of being in the military but damb i don't want to lose my family just cause i want to finish what is almost my final tour in the military. anyone have some advise or maybe you went through the same thing for a long deployment?

thanks for any answers or help you can provide.

v/r

[Tropics]

Hard to say without knowing what you are fighting about. My first thought is why aren't you taking her with you? She is probably tired of having to deal with all the family stuff by herself.

[USNPhoto]

Hard to say without knowing what you are fighting about. My first thought is why aren't you taking her with you? She is probably tired of having to deal with all the family stuff by herself.

sorry about that i guess i should expound on this. because we have kids in exceptional family member program we agreed that it would be better that the kids stayed where they are so we don't interruptrupt anything. I have been having these feelings that i want to distance myself from them. i asked her if she wanted to go but she said no and that the kids need to stay where they are. i cant argue with that as it seems to work very well for them. it just seems that every day that goes by we seem to fight more and more. i understand that the most important thing is our kids but it doesn't make it any easier. I don't want to leave on such a bad note as to risk loosing what really matters in this world.

[Markinsa]

I'm not married, but this article may be of some use and give you some insight to help. My prayers are with you and your family.

http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Marriage/MarriageAffections.html

[USNPhoto]

I'm not married, but this article may be of some use and give you some insight to help. My prayers are with you and your family.

http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Marriage/MarriageAffections.html

thank you i am going to read that now. i appreaciate the help.

[tommyboy]

Since family is very important, as you say, I think a visit to the base Chaplin is in order. You can both explain to him the situation with your children and your feelings about your upcoming deployment. I imagine your wife may feel Japan is a little more exotic than Afganistan, and she may be having some feelings of insecurity. If it actually comes down to it, the Chaplin could, because of your situation and the fact we are not in any war right now, have you transferred to permanent company where you are right now. After all, you have completed 17 uears of service. I saw this happen many times during my 3 tours in the Navy when people had special needs.

That Chaplin is a pretty powerful dude.

Edited May 8, 2011 by tommyboy

[Markinsa]

Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

-