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Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local

golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind

if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the


Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do

you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a

beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

"Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a

look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of

his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see

right in the window."

"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ah-ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait

a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her..... He's naked, too!!!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the


"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

"Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his willy off to

teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few


"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand


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