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mrparrot

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Posts posted by mrparrot

  3. We won't Save you Unless you get the Vaccine

    in Politics, 2nd Amendment (Gun Control)

    Posted · Edited by mrparrot
    The strory I replied to involved a Nun and a Doctor...

    Did you hear about the Nun and the Priest and the Donkey...? 

     A young priest wanted to raise money for his church, and seeing that 
     there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse 
     and enter it in the races. However , at the local auction, the going 
     price for horses was so steep that the priest ended up buying a 
     donkey. The priest figured that since he had the donkey anyway, he may 
     as well go ahead and enter it in the races. Much to his surprise, the 
     donkey came in third. The next day the daily racing form carried the 
     headline:
          
     "PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS."
          
     The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the 
     races again the following day. This time the donkey won! The next day 
     the racing form read:
          
     "PRIEST'S ASS OUT IN FRONT."
          
     The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he told the 
     priest not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper headline 
     that day read:
          
     "BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS."
          
     This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid 
     of the animal at once. The priest decided to give it to the nearby 
     convent. The headlines that afternoon read:
          
     "NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN."
          
     The bishop fainted! He informed the nun that she would have to
     dispose of the donkey immediately. She found a farmer who was
     willing to buy  the animal for $10. The next day the paper headlines
     stated:
          
     "NUN SELLS HER ASS FOR TEN BUCKS."
          
     They buried the bishop that afternoon, and on the day following the 
     funeral the headlines read:
          
     "TOO MUCH ASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BISHOP'S DEATH."
    • Haha 6

  4. New Exchange Rate coming out before end of the year !

    in Dinar Rumors

    Posted

    On 12/10/2020 at 7:57 AM, rvmydinar said:

     i never laughed at your post. My concern to you is don't just make an assuption about lop if in reality/real life you can't prove it because the lop has never happened in almost 17 years and the cbi has never intended to lop the iqd for almost 17 years. 

    I've been on this roller coaster ride for over a decade.

    I quit counting the months a long time ago.

    If it ever happens, great. If it never happens, oh well.

    I have zero opinions on how it could go. I just hang out

    in the Lopster Pot because it's warm in here, and I love seafood...

    • Haha 13
    • Upvote 1

  12. Baking soda good for our heath

    in Natural Cures and Health Talk

    Posted · Edited by mrparrot
    Spelling error.

    Ya'll forgot to mention another good use for baking soda.

     

    ***puts on his Teachers Hat***

     

    Got an ant problem?

    Baits don't work? Insecticides don't work? Windex not doing it?

    Flame thrower not doing it?

     

    That's because you're killing only the ones that you can SEE.

    You need to take out the nest AND the QUEEN.

     

    For those of you who fell asleep in Junior High Science Class,

    let's review the physiology of the ant, paying special attention to their

    digestive tract.

     

    The little buggers lack the ability to BURP.

     

    Would anyone like to guess where we're going here...?

     

    ***listens to the crickets because most of the class has fallen asleep***

     

    OK, for the one person who is still awake, only because they're getting paid

    to take notes for the rest of the class...

     

    In a small bowl, mix a 50/50 blend of BAKING SODA and SUGAR.

     

    They will not only eat it, but will haul it back to the nest.

     

    And since they can't burp, the baking soda causes gases to build up in their

    little bodies until they burst like a ballon!!!

     

    Now I can't guarantee that if you put your ear to the ground, that you'll hear

    them popping like a roll of bubble wrap, but it will get the job done.

     

    CLASS DISMISSED!!!

     

    ***gets trampled as the herd runs for the door***

     

     

    • Like 2
    • Thanks 2

  17. TRUTH

    in Off Topic posts

    Posted

    10 hours ago, SgtFuryUSCZ said:

    ***///   

    OMG !  :lol:  Hahahahahahaha...!   :P

    Dear, Dear PARROT ! :P Bless yer lil' 'ol heart !

     

    It's not the "P" factor....

    it's the life form reduced to a chattering, repetitive squawking thing taught to repeat it's master's mantra.

    Perhaps this is a better list for your needs...

     

    Budgerigar — Also known as the Budgie, or Parakeet, this common little bird is capable of learning a large number of phrases and songs. Their voice tends to be low and not always defined, and males tend to train better than females.

     

    Monk Parakeet — Also called the Quaker Parakeet, this colorful little bird is actually a small parrot. They are known for being very clever and social, developing large vocabularies of phrases and words.

     

    Indian Ringneck — Very clever little birds, Indian Ringnecks can develop a large vocabulary, and speak very clearly in sentences. Not so much for mimicking the pitch of a human voice, they more often speak in their own bird voices, though they can carry the mood of the phrase.

     

    Eclectus — Known for being especially gender dimorphous -- the male is green and the female bright red -- this parrot is able to verbalize distinctly and mimic the tone and mood of language. While its capabilities are strong, these abilities depend entirely on training from an early age.

     

    Hill Myna — This pretty little black bird has an amazing capacity for mimicking human voices, with a varied range of pitch and tonality.

     

    I do hope this is the last time we'll have to address this subject.

    Bird poop can be rather difficult to remove from ones hair while one

    is enjoying a day at the park... 

    EvilSmile.jpg

    • Haha 4
    • Upvote 2

  18. TRUTH

    in Off Topic posts

    Posted

    10 hours ago, SgtFuryUSCZ said:

    ***///   

    OMG !  :lol:  Hahahahahahaha...!   :P

    Dear, Dear PARROT ! :P Bless yer lil' 'ol heart !

     

    It's not the "P" factor....

    it's the life form reduced to a chattering, repetitive squawking thing taught to repeat it's master's mantra.

    Now, "Pink Fairy Armadillo" is a great one for "snowflakes"...!  :lmao::twothumbs:

    And what in the name of sam hill is a "Pond Skater"...? :facepalm1::huh:

    And we're probably not old enough for you to have 'the talk' with us about "Puss Moths".... :o^_^

     

     

     

    .

    https://a-z-animals.com/animals/pink-fairy-armadillo/

     

    https://a-z-animals.com/animals/pond-skater/

     

    https://a-z-animals.com/animals/puss-moth/

     

  19. TRUTH

    in Off Topic posts

    Posted

    1 hour ago, SgtFuryUSCZ said:

    Party parrots.... useful idiots... kommie tools....

    Anyone you know.....?!   :lol::P

     

    And as far as whose REALLY "lost it"... you just described all the little gremlins who tread the boards

    lobbing little LIE BOMBS and then scurrying for cover of the standard kommie mantras...

    Day in & day out... must get paid by the pound for that garbage !  :jester:

     

    .

    .

    Really? Again?

    Didn't we just have this conversation less than a month ago...?

     

    The next time you need an animal that starts with the letter p,

    could you PLEASE consult this list? Thank you.

     

    Pademelon

    Panther

    Patas Monkey

    Peacock

    Pekingese

    Pelican

    Penguin

    Persian

    Pheasant

    Pied Tamarin

    Pig

    Pika

    Pike

    Pink Fairy Armadillo

    Piranha

    Platypus

    Pointer

    Poison Dart Frog

    Polar Bear

    Pond Skater

    Poodle

    Pool Frog

    Porcupine

    Possum

    Prawn

    Proboscis Monkey

    Puffer Fish

    Puffin

    Pug

    Puma

    Purple Emperor

    Puss Moth

    Pygmy Hippopotamus

    Pygmy Marmoset

    • Haha 9
    • Upvote 1

  22. Yes Virginia, there is a St. Nick..he's dead though

    in Politics, 2nd Amendment (Gun Control)

    Posted

    The Numbers Do Not Lie...

     

    1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified,
    and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer
    which only Santa has ever seen.

    2) There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world;
    However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children,
    that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total, 378 million according to the
    Population Reference Bureau.
    At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes.
    One presumes that there is at least one good child in each.

    3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones
    and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels East to West.
    This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
    That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second
    to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chiminey, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
    presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chiminey,
    get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house.
    Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth
    (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations),
    we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles,
    not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc.
    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound.
    For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky
    27.4 miles per second.
    A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most.

    4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element.
    Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks
    (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described
    as overweight.
    On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
    Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2),
    and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer.
    We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh,
    to 353,430 tons.
    Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

    5) 353,430 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance.
    This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
    The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each.
    In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them,
    and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
    The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds.
    Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity.
    A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

     

    In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now...

    • Thanks 1
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