Some HUMOR for today!! Somewhat Mature.

[DiveDeepSix]

I  was traveling between West Palm Beach and Boca Raton the other day
(south of  Jupiter) when a tire blew out.
Checking  my spare, I found that it, too, was flat. My only option was to flag down a  passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.

The first vehicle to  stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?
"Yes, I  sure do," I replied.

"You a Republican or Democrat?" asked the old  man.

"Republican," I replied.

"Well, you can just go to Hell,"  yelled the old man as he sped off.

Another guy stopped, rolled down the  window, and asked me the same
question.

Again, I gave the same answer,  "Republican."  The driver gave me the
finger and drove off.

I  thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this  area seemed  to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans.

The next  car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.
She smiled  seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat.

"Democrat!" I  shouted.

"Hop in!" replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, I  couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind  blowing through her hair, perfect

breasts  and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.

Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed  on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.

"What's the  matter?" she asked.

"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been  a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw  somebody."

 

 

 

Here's Another:

 

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded library. He asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. Iguess you felt embarrassed, right?
The guy then responded with a loud voice: $500 FOR ONE NIGHT...THAT'S TOO MUCH! All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered in her ear: "I study law, and I know how to screw people."

 

   

 

[WoodChopper]

DDS      Too Funny!