ds2 Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 The GED Test The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant) Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head all i can say is wtf? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmemoryofrob Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 Dude, I sooooo just put this on FB! I can't catch my breath! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdr Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 there is no way that can be real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racheal Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 Some of this could be explained by over imaginative minds or phonetically challenged ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DinarLSU Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 (edited) Hate to say it, but this is the sad truth about what our Country has become. If you are uneducated then you only follow by example so the Politicians get your vote and you have no clue what or who you voted for. The" Grand Master Plan" is already underway... God Bless and Geaux RV Edited July 21, 2010 by briantoler 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMissGrits Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 I am toooooo old to laugh like this and NOT pee my pants!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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