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90% of Single Woman want to pursue men already in committed relationships


Tiffany23
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Women And Mate Poaching

Published on January 10, 2012 by John R. Buri, Ph.D. in Love Bytes

Are you currently in love?

Let me ask you --- how interested would an unattached female be in poaching your current love interest?

Or putting the shoe on the other foot, if you are not currently in a relationship, how interested would you be in poaching another woman's boyfriend?

It turns out that single women are particularly interested in men who are already in a committed relationship --- they seem to have a distinct preference for mate poaching (much more so than single men).

When presented bio information along with a photo of a relatively attractive man, fewer than 60% of the women surveyed were interested in pursuing this man if he was NOT currently attached.

But if this man was already in a committed romantic relationship, 90% of the single women expressed a strong desire to pursue him.

90%! :o

[bTW: There was not a similar preference among men for attached women over unattached ones.]

Women --- hang onto your man. There is a good chance that someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to snag him.

When asked why they were particularly attracted to attached men, single women responded:

- "Revenge - what goes around comes around"

- "To see if I can - I love a good challenge"

- "It's exciting - you're in the hunt"

- "Because I can - and once I do, it's an ego boost"

- "Because he's already been tested - he's pre-approved"

Real sweethearts, huh?

Remember - 90%! :blink:

Don't you just want to yell: "Go find your own relationship."

Bottom line: research has revealed that poachers rate low in reliability, low in good-heartedness, and low in relationship fidelity.

So if you are looking for a temporary burst of excitement that might also stroke your ego, go ahead - screw over some unsuspecting woman who is already in a relationship. After all, isn't that what she deserves if she is that naïve?

But if you are looking for a stable, healthy, long-term love relationship, be forewarned --- if you poached your man to begin with, guess what - if you were able to poach him, then there is a good chance that he is poachable again.

References:

"Who's Chasing Whom?" by Jessica Parker and Melissa Burkley (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2009, 45, pp. 1016-1019).

"Sex Differences in Perceptions of Benefits and Costs of Mate Poaching" by Alastair Davies, Todd Shackelford, & Glen Hass (Personality and Individual Differences, 2010, 49, pp. 441-445).

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-bytes/201201/women-and-mate-poaching

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I generally receive more interest and attention from other women when I am already in the company of another one. I have one friend in alignment with Tiff that specifically likes to go out with me as a "prop" when we go dancing. After all, we both enjoy looking at and chatting up women! biggrin.gif

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Tiffany you always have the most interesting posts :)

NOT ME...I have never been interested in a guy who was dating or otherwise attached. I guess I grew up with parents who taught me not to covet thy neighbor or the belongings of thy neighbor. Not to say I haven't thought a guy was interesting or attractive while they were dating a friend or someone I knew but poaching is not for me.

That being said....my ex husband was "poached". At the time I was devastated...the woman only went out with married men...but after I got through it I found out that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As for him.....he made his bed and he's discovered that it is not a very comfortable bed :lol:

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Tiffany you always have the most interesting posts :)

NOT ME...I have never been interested in a guy who was dating or otherwise attached. I guess I grew up with parents who taught me not to covet thy neighbor or the belongings of thy neighbor. Not to say I haven't thought a guy was interesting or attractive while they were dating a friend or someone I knew but poaching is not for me.

That being said....my ex husband was "poached". At the time I was devastated...the woman only went out with married men...but after I got through it I found out that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As for him.....he made his bed and he's discovered that it is not a very comfortable bed :lol:

90% ?? Hmmm!

FlintNPebbles, you must be one of the 5%!! (The final 5% are pursuing women). :unsure:

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Quite happy with the choice i've made. I enjoy to flirt with the opposite sex,but at the end of the day I go home to the one I love.

Me too caz,

24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" ;)

so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet :D

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Me too caz,

24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" wink.gif

so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet biggrin.gif

th_smiley_two_thumbs_up.gif NICE th_smiley_two_thumbs_up.gif

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Me too caz,

24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" ;)

so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet :D

Now that Ladies & Gentelmen is what I call Love. I Love my Sweet with all my heart and know exactly where home is,I don't need GPS. Congrats on your 1st 24 years and here's to your next 24. Well done.

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Me too caz,

24 years with the best thing that ever happened to me, but we have a little joke about it and she says "I don't care where you get your appetite from as long as you come home to eat" ;)

so, I live by the adage that home is where the heart (and stomach) is, and hadn't missed a meal yet :D

Almost the same thing I tell my Husband.

It's okay to look at the menu just come home to eat. :)

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Evolution Psychology would predict this. Women instinctively want two things out of a mate: good genes and a good provider. So why go out and test an unproven market (single guys)…when all you have to do is go after a test driven model (married).

Personally, I have found this to be very true…my single GFs MUCH prefer a guy in a relationship than one that isn’t. And I thought it a bit odd that while men prefer having sexual relationships with as many women as they can; they want to settle down with someone that hasn’t been around (much). Double Standards!!!!! :rolleyes:

While women actually don’t seem to mind a man that has been "around", as they believe they can change him. And they especially like going after one that is currently in a committed relationship. :blink:

No wander why the two sexes can’t understand each other!

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I generally receive more interest and attention from other women when I am already in the company of another one. I have one friend in alignment with Tiff that specifically likes to go out with me as a "prop" when we go dancing. After all, we both enjoy looking at and chatting up women! biggrin.gif

I couldn't pass it up, toot toot!

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Evolution Psychology would predict this. Women instinctively want two things out of a mate: good genes and a good provider.

And I thought it a bit odd that while men prefer having sexual relationships with as many women as they can.

Biologists would agree with this hypothesis. With very, very few exceptions, the female of the species has a need for stability, good genes and a good provider.

The male of the species has the need for mating with as many partners as possible to pass along his bloodline.

Hey, it's just the way the good Lord made me! :D

Just kidding. Actually, my wife and I have been married 28+ years, 3 kids and (now with newborn twins!) 3 grandkids.

And yes, I'm allowed to look at the menu, but I stay on my diet.

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Tiff, men get to emotion through sex....... women get to sex through emotion. Guys that understand this "can" have a lot of fun:)

Mak63

While I think what you say Mak is well said and generally very accurate, I had to chuckle of my teenage days 30 years ago when two of the proverbial male lies were " Yes, dear I love you" and "I will respect you in the morning". As I look back, more often than not, these "lies" really weren't lies - just "false" male bravado! I can say that now thirty years later - the wife doesn't give it two thoughts anyhow. LOL!

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While I think what you say Mak is well said and generally very accurate, I had to chuckle of my teenage days 30 years ago when two of the proverbial male lies were " Yes, dear I love you" and "I will respect you in the morning". As I look back, more often than not, these "lies" really weren't lies - just "false" male bravado! I can say that now thirty years later - the wife doesn't give it two thoughts anyhow. LOL!

I was there 30 years ago as welltongue.gif My quote is one of those things that maturity (being dragged through life) bringsbiggrin.gifbiggrin.gifbiggrin.gif Smart guys won't play around if they're married and single guys will have more fun dating if they really understand the ladiescool.gifcool.gifcool.gif

Mak63

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Tiff I like this post but I wonder what was your reason for it!!! I say this because you don't really care for men, you have made it very clear on here!!! If I'm wrong then make your self very clear.....I've read many post where on other girls page on here where you stated you like girls.......... and guys don't get the hint, so please explain your self, thanks in advance....I always wanted to know the questons i asked you!!! Thanks again...

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