FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

[delta22]

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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT’S ALSO A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here....you don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

That's why they call it “fur”-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,

(2) don't ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;

(7) don't smoke or drink,

(8) don't want to wear your clothes,

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children......

[AKVET]

Delta22

I'll have to copy and post at my house the two dogs I have control the place. Cute read.

[Billb]

Nice post thx hope you don't mind, reposted on my facebook.

[aliciadogz]

I have 9 dogz and one cat.it sure match my house.most of all them sleep in bed.thanks for post.

[precious1]

Oh my Gosh, that was soooooooooo totally funny and true!!

IF anyone needs a really good (?) alarm cat, borrow my 19 yr old cat! He feels it neccesary to wake up the household by 4 am. He also circles the livingroom starting at 7 pm yowling time to go to bed! grrrr. He is a grumpy old man!( but beloved , just the same!)

[Kathleen]

Love it ..cats Shakespear & Maxine are truly in this story

[RodandStaff]

Great post Delta... but I gotta say though that I had a girl husky once that used to hang out with some pretty "seedy looking characters" every now and then when it was... that "time of the month"! Don't know if they smoked or drank... but they always used to like hanging out behind the dog house just out of sight, one time I did catching them "wrestling"... ifun ya know what I mean! So yeah, sometimes the problem children can have four legs!

[TexasGranny]

Definitely borrowing this for my facebook page

When I built this house it was built "pet friendly"

they have constant access in and out - always let me know when it is 9PM and time for their nightly ritual to get ready for bed.

Also make sure I don't miss their middle of the day treat time either

It's my fault I guess for having 5 in the house - 4 of which sleep in my king size bed too.

I do have one that sleeps in a crate - until he catches on anyway.

They are my babies and are treated as such