usndiver Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening". The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back. There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache." Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooked Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 You sick, twisted, dimented individual. I knew there was something I liked about you. good stuff. Only slightly "politically" incorrect. Here little pink piggy piggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atheist Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 loved it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhardage Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 TOO funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billbill Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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