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2000th Post Wins!

cisole

By cisole,
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Aces-n-Eights Newbie

Aces-n-Eights

Posted
Posted

Confucius say: Baseball Makes No Sense. A Man Cannot Walk With 4 Balls. :blink:

:D :D :D

speakin of walkin funny...

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".

"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.

"What's that mean?"

"It means they cut the skin off the end."

"How old were you when it was cut off?"

"My mom said I was two days old."

"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.

"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!" :blink:

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cisole
cisole

Its contest time again! Ok, this one is going to be simple, it will also be fast paced! It’s going to be a battle of the posts! Rules: 1.) You cannot post back to back there must be at least one

BETTYBOOP
BETTYBOOP

We could have a post r.v. party in each others country and host it for the visitors.

umbertino
umbertino

Quote 2.) Keep it PG, we want everyone to be able to participate, refrain from strong sexual references, etc... End Quote you locked the other thread and you tell us this.... Why didn't you leave

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FlyHi Experienced

FlyHi

Posted
Posted

Marriage Software

This is what a guy wrote to a Systems Analyst

(Marriage Software Division):

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as 'Boys' Night out 2.5' and 'Golf 5.3' no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected 'Saturday Rugby 6.3' always fails and 'Saturday Shopping 7.1' runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to 'Girlfriend 7.0', but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the..... C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as 'Flowers 2.0' and 'Chocolates 5.0' or 'HUGS\ KISSES 600.0' or 'TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 1000.0' or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1' (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install 'Secretary 2.1' (Short Skirt Version) or 'One Nightstand 3.2' (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES!

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BJinMontreal Newbie

BJinMontreal

Posted
Posted

:blink: ahh...so wot number are we on today....hmmm....still less than 1000... :huh: *sighs* -_- thought it would be more by the time i did me drive by.... *sighs* -_-

Thirteen posts wasn't close enough for ya Shin?

<hangs head in shame>

:blush:

13 of the top 15 posters can be found on this thread ... and still we do not meet young Ms. Guns' expectations ... *tsk* *tsk* :D

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BJinMontreal Newbie

BJinMontreal

Posted
Posted

:huh: .......*looks at BJ with bewildered face*..... :blink:

at this rate it will take about 3 to 4 days to hit 3000....thats a long time to have a bloging contest, don't you think? lol :lol:

Not really .. our last thread lasted three weeks before we hit post 3,000 - so 3 or 4 days is a walk in the park !!!

And it's the weekend .. so the posts will be dropping fast and funny later tonight.

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smee2 Newbie

smee2

Posted
Posted

"Anyone? ... what’s another word for Thesaurus?"

A thesaurus is a book of synonyms, often including related and contrasting words and antonyms. So to find another word for thesaurus, you might have to look for something dictionary, only a specific kind. I think a phrase would have to be used, more than just one word, like a specific grammatical something or other. I don't think there is another word for thesaurus.

Now, if you are just pushing our buttons, and looking for a word for thesaurus because a thesaurus is a book that lists words that substitute for or replace other words, and not really wanting that other word but waiting for us to catch on to the humor of the question ... well you got me ... I fell for it.

:)

smee2,

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Shinnidan Newbie

Shinnidan

Posted
Posted

Not really .. our last thread lasted three weeks before we hit post 3,000 - so 3 or 4 days is a walk in the park !!!

And it's the weekend .. so the posts will be dropping fast and funny later tonight.

well, there goes me boring work day....if the party don't start until later tonight.... :huh: wait a min.....it is night or late afternoon for you all....from my stand point....hmmmm :blink:

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cooked Newbie

cooked

Posted
Posted

well, there goes me boring work day....if the party don't start until later tonight.... :huh: wait a min.....it is night or late afternoon for you all....from my stand point....hmmmm :blink:

Looking at your profile I wonder if it was you poking me in the but everytime I mentioned Macs caber?

Here little pink piggy piggy :eyebrows:

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umbertino Grand Master

umbertino

Posted
Posted (edited)

Confusion confused confusing confusingly confusedness :blink: :blink: ....that we are not.....

Let me count thy ways.... :D

You suggested 2 songs.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhuG2hCJtsk Beautiful

The other one is " let me count the ways" by Michael Franks which I was unable to locate on youtube ( it used to be there but they do remove lots of stuff for copyright, etc.)

Ok... Found it here...

http://www.mrtzc-download-server1.asia/Listen?a=4906m75824967&b=mDZSY0&c=82cdaf49fe7b&d=651&artist=Michael%20Franks&song=Let%20Me%20Count%20The%20Ways

Edited by umbertino
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FlyHi Experienced

FlyHi

Posted
Posted

"Anyone? ... what’s another word for Thesaurus?"

A thesaurus is a book of synonyms, often including related and contrasting words and antonyms. So to find another word for thesaurus, you might have to look for something dictionary, only a specific kind. I think a phrase would have to be used, more than just one word, like a specific grammatical something or other. I don't think there is another word for thesaurus.

Now, if you are just pushing our buttons, and looking for a word for thesaurus because a thesaurus is a book that lists words that substitute for or replace other words, and not really wanting that other word but waiting for us to catch on to the humor of the question ... well you got me ... I fell for it.

:)

smee2,

Check post #808 two discriptive words were given ...treasury and storehouse...of words of course

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