Man_Kind Posted May 4, 2011 Report Share Posted May 4, 2011 Brief Messages Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b!tch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google Dear 2011, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? What happened?! Sincerely, 1985 Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn, Please lknvfdmv.xvn. Sincerely, Stevie Wonder Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin Dear Osama Bin Laden, All turds don’t float, eh sharkbait? Sincerely, United States Dear World of Warcraft, Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity. Sincerely, Parents Everywhere Dear Batman, What was your power again? Sincerely, Superman Dear Customers: Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies Dear Global Warming, You're the best imaginary friend ever! Sincerely, Al Gore Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol Dear Katy Perry, I liked the kiss too. Sincerely, Justin Beiber Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User Dear Giant Spider on the Wall, Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go? Sincerely, Terrified Dear Trash, At least you get picked up... Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant Dear Dr. Phil, Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first. Sincerely, Dr. Pepper 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedog Posted May 4, 2011 Report Share Posted May 4, 2011 Great Laughs!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlldrs Posted May 4, 2011 Report Share Posted May 4, 2011 A good laugh for the morning. Thanks Man_KInd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhYeah Posted May 4, 2011 Report Share Posted May 4, 2011 those are hilarious!! Thanks, needed that this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crnamiss Posted May 4, 2011 Report Share Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks for the laughs, just read it to the crew in the OR and we all got a laugh! Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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