Just another day

[Qman]

Just another day...........

$5.37! That's what the

kid behind the counter at

Taco Bell said to me.

I dug into my pocket

and pulled out some lint

and two dimes and something

that used to be a Jolly Rancher.

Having already handed the kid

a five-spot, I started to head

back out to the truck to grab

some change when the kid

with the Elmo hairdo said

the hardest thing anyone has

ever said to me. He said, "It's

OK. I'll just give you the senior

citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was

talking to and then heard the

sound of change hitting the

counter in front of me. "Only

$4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am

56, not even 60 yet? A mere

child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked

out to the truck wondering

what was wrong with Elmo.

Was he blind? As I sat in the

truck, my blood began to

boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I

opened the door and headed

back inside. I strode to the

counter, and there he was

waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word,

he held up something and jingled

it in front of me, like I could be

that easily distracted! What am

I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without

your car keys, eh?" I stared

with utter disdain at the keys.

I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly

makes a man elderly! It could

happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to

the truck. I slipped

the key into the ignition, but it

wouldn't turn. What now? I

checked my keys and

tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple

beads hanging from my rear

view mirror. I had no purple beads

hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came

into focus. The car seat in the

back seat. Happy Meal toys spread

all over the floorboard. A partially

eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo

biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out

of the parking lot, relieved to finally

be leaving this nightmarish stop in

my life. That is when I felt it, deep

in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!

My stomach growled and

churned, and I reached to grab my

burrito, only it was nowhere to be

found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my

courage, and strode back into the restaurant

one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in

youth and black

nail polish. All I could think was, "What

is the world coming to?"

All I could say was,

"Did I leave my food and drink in here"?

At this point I was ready to ask a Boy

Scout to help me back to my vehicle,

and then go straight home and apply for

Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to

the truck, and suddenly a young lad

came up and tugged on my jeans to get

my attention. He was holding up a drink

and a bag. His mother explained, "I think

you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little

boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK.

My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing

85 in a 40 MPH Zone. Yes, I was racing some

punk kid in a Toyota Prius.

And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be

driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me

halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of

cold food and a $300 speeding ticket.

I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered

up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found

my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies

on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those

of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth....It's the only planet with chocolate !!!!!

[Slaydadea]

Thanks again! And the large type!

[DIAMOND]

At one point in my life this would have been funny, but it has become all to real, lol, oh an thanks also for the large print