Which of these 3 jokes is your favorite?

[Tiffany23]

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline.

I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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A cowboy walks into a bar and sits down next to a very attractive woman,

He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?"

Well, it says you"re not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing"s an hour fast."

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A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the closet floor.

"You b*stard," the man says," my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Which one is your favorite?

[Munsch]

I would have to say the 2nd one about the watch.

[venetia]

I like them all!!!

[Kandi77]

I would have to say the 2nd one about the watch.

I agree!!! #2, though all funny!!

[Mntnman]

Great Jokes!

I like the fast watch joke best!

[caz1104]

Me,I liked no#1 the best. I know sic right?..............................................................GO RV 2011 BABY!!!! P.S. got any good Lil Johnny jokes?

[Kandi77]

Me,I liked no#1 the best. I know sic right?..............................................................GO RV 2011 BABY!!!! P.S. got any good Lil Johnny jokes?

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"

[Soldiering4U]

I am going with #2 and I am using that line at the bar next time... that is if my wife will let me go... LOL

[caz1104]

One night Lil Johnny went to sleep and dreamt that his Uncle Bob had died. He woke up and that evening his dad got a call stating that Uncle Bob had died. The next night Lil Johnny went to sleep and dreamt Aunt Mary had died. again the next evening his dad got a call stating that Aunt mary had passed. Lil Johhny tells his dad about his dreams and his dad says "thats just a coincidence". The next morning Lil Johnny tells his dad "last night I had a dream that my dad had died". His dad was terrified,he had the worst day of his life. He took every precaution to ensure his safety. He drove slow to & from work,ate nothing in fear of poisoning. When he finally gets home his wife asks how his day went "much worse than yours I'm sure" he replied. I don't know said Lil Johnny's mom, "the milkman dropped dead on the front porch today!"

[Dogmatic1]

I'm with Caz, I like the first one, too! But, mostly because, when I initially read it, I thought Tiff was depressed and wanted to get her mind off of her thoughts and was thinking of jokes to put out. As I read on, I figured out it was the first of three jokes, so needless to say I was relieved to see that it wasn't Tiff's poor broken heart! Yeah!

But, all three are very funny!

And Caz, that joke was too cute! Poor lil' Johnny!

[bamf1414]

definately gotta go with the second one, I may have to give it a shot at the bar next time I go, Ill let ya know if it works or if I get smacked off my stool

[bkpadre38]

I would have to say #2.

[Funky Cold Medinar]

ALL 3 were very funny, but #2 made the milk squirt out my nose Thanks for posting and the laughs greatly appreciated.

Countless blessings and endless peace to ALL....GO RV!