TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

[rtrusty]

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life,but it broke .

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder .

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe .

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes .

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

1 7. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up .

18 . Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken .

24 . He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26 . Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music .

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on .

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few !

[Tiffany23]

Bravo!