Silly Smiles ll+ *** Warning Objectionable Material Inside - Enter at your own risk ***

[moose 57]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

THEY LIVE AMONG US!!!!!!!! 

 

My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at McDonald's.

 

 

 

We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since...

 

 

 

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

 

 

 

My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

 

 

 

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

 

 

 

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

 

 

 

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!

 

 

 

Send it along to put a smile on someone's face today!
HAHAHA

 

 

I found this on Face Book and had to Share it over here.  

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

Another Goody From Face Book!

 

 

 

RETIRED HUSBAND

 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

 

 

Dear Mrs. Harris:

 

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

 

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

 

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

 

6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

 

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

 

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

 

And last, but not least:

 

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

 

If you don't send this to your dearest friends; You will be depriving them of some good humor.

 

   

 

Edited July 30, 2020 by Markinsa
Increased font size

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Markinsa]

On 7/27/2020 at 9:58 AM, moose 57 said:

500 words from a guy!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

She's a lesbian...

 

.

[Starrider]

6 hours ago, Markinsa said:

 

She's a lesbian...

 

.

Not me Sorry

 

 

Starr

[Starrider]

 

 

 

Starr

[gregp]

11 minutes ago, Starrider said:

Not me Sorry

 

 

Starr

[gregp]

22 hours ago, moose 57 said:

I’ve been shot too many times! 

[Starrider]

 

 

Starr

[MyLadiesDaddy]

31 minutes ago, Starrider said:

 

 

 

Starr

Is this for real?

[Starrider]

1 minute ago, ladyGrace'sDaddy said:

Is this for real?

Yes

 

Starr

[gregp]

50 minutes ago, Starrider said:

 

 

 

Starr

This is Joe Blows last minute ditch effort, to save his ass from going to prison. Absolutely spineless. Total treason to Gods country. 
 

Thanks Star! 

[moose 57]

[davis411]

1 hour ago, gregp said:

This is Joe Blows last minute ditch effort, to save his ass from going to prison. Absolutely spineless. Total treason to Gods country. 
 

Thanks Star! 

Well this is what our current govt did

Opened the immigration flood gates

free housing 

free money

free free

 

they did this in the course leading up to last election

 

we’ll never guess who all these individuals voted for

 

while many of us voted for change 

cause we don’t get help

[gregp]

5 hours ago, moose 57 said:

Best DV Post Ever!!

[gregp]

13 hours ago, davis411 said:

Well this is what our current govt did

Opened the immigration flood gates

free housing 

free money

free free

 

they did this in the course leading up to last election

 

we’ll never guess who all these individuals voted for

 

while many of us voted for change 

cause we don’t get help

If Joe gets in, the US is toast.  Muslim & Jam in toast. 

[moose 57]

[davis411]

10 hours ago, moose 57 said:

Ok ok ok

that was really ** funny

Edited July 31, 2020 by Markinsa
Language | See Forum Rules

[Pitcher]

Thanks for the Biden Campaign Blunder Starr.  That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen a major Presidential Candidate do besides maybe Dukakis putting on a helmet to ride around in a tank.  What are they thinking.

 

Let’s do the Math.  1 million Muslims vs. 80 million Aging Baby Boomers who are mostly Trump Voters.  Mmmmm.   Not a very strategic video Mr Biden.  What’s next dude, a TV commercial of you eating a taco in a sombrero in El Paso to get the illegal vote.  

 

Please just make a commercial and say you and all your Democratic friends hate Trump.  Tell them that if you don’t win you, Obama, HRC, and half the FBI, The CIA, and Hollywood Elites may end up in jail for breaking the laws to get rid of President Trump.  At least it would be the truth.  That ad above is such a sniffling, whiny, begging, condescending, wimpy, pandering piece of garbage. Is that the man you want as your President. A whiny wimp.  

 

Please make more dumba** ads Mr. Biden.  Please continue to show America who you and the Democrats are and what you want to do to the rest of us Deplorables, Stinky Wal Mart and Flyover people.  

[HeyJonesy]

15 minutes ago, Pitcher said:

 That ad above is such a sniffling, whiny, begging, condescending, wimpy, pandering piece of garbage. 

 

So...  tell us how you really feel.   LOL

 

🤣

p.s.  Agreed.. 

[Pitcher]

I have worked in many Dem campaigns. I’m not liking what the Dems are doing these days. 

[429]

[429]

[coorslite21]

On 7/29/2020 at 11:22 PM, Markinsa said:

 

She's a lesbian...

 

.

 

Not a chance......CL