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Silly Smiles ll+ *** Warning Objectionable Material Inside - Enter at your own risk ***


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Sven and Ole, long time friends, were both farmers in E Colo. Sven was telling Ole that he wanted to pick up some milkers. Ole recommended caution, as was his want. Sven rather quickly located a farmer up north who had some for sale so in his truck and trailer he headed up there. Upon arrival he inspected the cows and was assured by the owner that they were indeed good milkers and invited Sven to try one out. Sven pulled up the stool and was very surprised that when he pulled on the cows teets that she gave out with a very long loud fart. “Yeah, she does that at times but she gives good milk, said the owner. Sven bought his cows and returned home.
Upon hearing this Ole came right over to inspect. He was very reserved in his inspection of the cows but Sven finally said, “Here, Ole, she’s a good milker. Try her out.” Ole jumped right to the task and when settled he reached under the cow, pulling on her teet and true to form she let out a large fart. Ole was stunned and amazed as he jumped backward off the stool in surprise, loudly exclaiming, “That cow is from North Dakota.” How do you know that?” asked Sven. Ole replied, “My wife is from North Dakota, too!”

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A young teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started out a class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up". After a few seconds, Little Johnny hesitantly stood up. The teacher rolled her eyes and asked Little Johnny, "Do you think you are stupid Johnny?" No' mam! But I hate to see you standing there by yourself....

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A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, "Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17."


On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, "last week I asked you all to read Mark 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand."


Nearly every hand in the congregation went up. Smiling, the preacher said, "You are the very people I want to talk to, Mark has only 16 Chapters

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Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work,
but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one:
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

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