Silly Smiles ll+ *** Warning Objectionable Material Inside - Enter at your own risk ***

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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.

She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'

'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

 

🤣 🤣 🤣 

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[sandsoftime]

That's why everything has a safety label on them...NOW.. you know the rest...of the story

[Markinsa]

5 hours ago, Smokey Mtn. Dinar said:

 

Imagine what this guy could do with two implants?

 

 

[catmax]

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It's Friday!  🤣 

 

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A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.

He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, Morris had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said.

"I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied.

"It's a bet! Let's see what you got."

Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.

Then, nodding to the young man, he said,

"All right. Get in."

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A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his hand out the window to check.

As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed.

Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty, would you like to join me?"

He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal.

As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"

The man hesitated then asked, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

"No," she replied, "only those who catch my eye.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flash light around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flash light off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice....say, ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flash light beam came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’

‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

‘The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.

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AVLtoday

4lio8tlcrf1uhe10l3262  · 

If you were looking for a sign that the snowpocalypse is nigh, we've heard word that Jim Cantore will be stationed in Asheville this weekend.

 

FOX46.COM

It’s Twitter official! Jim Cantore is heading to NC as state braces for up to 12″ of snow in some areas

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