Silly Smiles ll+ *** Warning Objectionable Material Inside - Enter at your own risk ***

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[MyLadiesDaddy]

10 hours ago, Smokey Mtn. Dinar said:

Any truckers on here,( Lady Graces Daddy)  will get this. If it wasn't for my son being a trucker, I wouldn't get it! 🤣

 

 

 I think I know that guy 

[sandsoftime]

 

 

 

 

 

[moose 57]

[Markinsa]

A bacon-covered hot dog in a Krispy Kreme donut bun - Would you like to try one?

[Markinsa]

[Markinsa]

[Markinsa]

[Markinsa]

[nstoolman1]

46 minutes ago, Markinsa said:

I get it. 

[md11fr8dawg]

7 hours ago, Markinsa said:

A bacon-covered hot dog in a Krispy Kreme donut bun - Would you like to try one?

Well HELL YES!!!

[nstoolman1]

These crack me up. enjoy

EXCERPTS FROM COURT REPORTERS

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
Q: This condition you have… does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A:! By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
____ __________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?!
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[nstoolman1]

Nothing but the truth.

• Prosecutor: How fast was the car coming toward you?
Witness: I am not a thermometer, so I can’t tell you the speed limit.

• Attorney: What did the doctor tell you was the condition of the body when he performed the autopsy?
Witness: He described it as dead.

• Prosecutor: Do you see the defendant in court today?
Witness: Yes, I do.
Prosecutor: How is he dressed?
Witness: He looks pretty sharp.

• Prosecutor (addressing the court): The People have evidence that the life of the witness is in jeopardy, and it is reasonable to apprehend he will not be able to attend the trial if he is not alive at that time.

• Attorney: Can you explain what “state-dependent memory” refers to?
Witness: Yes. If a law student is drinking while studying for the exam, he would do well to bring beer into the examination, because he’ll be better able to re-create whatever it is he studied if he’s in a similar state of intoxication.
Court: That’s a novel thought.
Witness: You see why I’m no longer teaching at the law school.

• Counsel (to man in hallway): Are you a witness, victim, or defendant?
Man: I’m the guy who did it.

• Q: Were you involved in a romantic relationship with her?
A: I ain’t involved in no romantic relationship with her. I’m married to her.

• Counsel (to witness): Are you telling the truth?
Prosecutor: Objection; irrelevant.

• The defendant said that prior to the offense, he’d hoped to become a physician. But he believes that with a felony conviction, he will be precluded from achieving that goal. So he is now considering becoming a lawyer.

 

[moose 57]

Hey D.V. Friends!

[nstoolman1]

21 minutes ago, moose 57 said:

Hey D.V. Friends!

Guilty.

Hi friend.

[Highlanderdinar]

31 minutes ago, moose 57 said:

Hey D.V. Friends!

I had to reread this and wondered how this didn’t come from @Starrider?!  😂

[moose 57]

26 minutes ago, Highlanderdinar said:

I had to reread this and wondered how this didn’t come from @Starrider?!  😂

Maybe I copied it. Wouldn't be the first time!