Silly Smiles ll+ *** Warning Objectionable Material Inside - Enter at your own risk ***

[Shabibilicious]

 

GO RV, then BV

[MyLadiesDaddy]

DON'T  BE AN IDIOT 

 

[nstoolman1]

 

 

 

8 minutes ago, Shabibilicious said:

 

 

 

GO RV, then BV

 

First three=Funny

Bottom right one is the same as fat shaming. My body, my choice. Works for pregnant women(I don't agree) but I am running with it. 

[MyLadiesDaddy]

[MyLadiesDaddy]

Just now, nstoolman1 said:

 

 

 

 

First three=Funny

Bottom right one is the same as fat shaming. My body, my choice. Works for pregnant women(I don't agree) but I am running with it. 

That's not how Communist think. Do as they say, or they kill you. 

[Shabibilicious]

6 minutes ago, nstoolman1 said:

 

 

 

 

First three=Funny

Bottom right one is the same as fat shaming. My body, my choice. Works for pregnant women(I don't agree) but I am running with it. 

 

In this forum it's just for fun.....or so I thought.

 

 

GO RV, then BV

Edited June 8, 2021 by Shabibilicious

[Shabibilicious]

 

GO RV, then BV

Edited June 8, 2021 by Shabibilicious

[MyLadiesDaddy]

3 hours ago, Shabibilicious said:

 

In this forum it's just for fun.....or so I thought.

 

 

GO RV, then BV

It was, but some people simply pollute everything they touch.

 

[nstoolman1]

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking
buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to
their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he
caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and
he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back
pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and
looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and
began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw
blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and
stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head
and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be
the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops
of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot
eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror

[nstoolman1]

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(Calculation) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.
 

Now think about this:

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(Calculation) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI
 

 

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
 

 

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention

[nstoolman1]

Guy goes into a bar and sets his dog on the bar.
Bartender: "What's this?"
Guy: "It's my dog."
Bar: "But what's wrong with him?"
Guy: "Oh, he was born with no legs."
Bar: "Huh, What's his name?"
Guy: "He doesn't have a name."
Bar: "You're telling me that you have a dog with no legs and he doesn't even have a name!?"
Guy: "Look, he can't come if you call him, anyway."

[nstoolman1]

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

 

[nstoolman1]

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him
a card with the letters: ' C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?"the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

[nstoolman1]

 

[nstoolman1]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 60th
birthday. She spends $15,000 andfeels pretty good about the results.
On her way
home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to
the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how
old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 60," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
the counter
girl the very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 60."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops
in a drug
store on her way down the street. She goes up to the
counter to get
some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. !


The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 60, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old
man waiting
next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when
I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old
a woman was. It
sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put
my hands under your
bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how
old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets
the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the
hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins
to feel
around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and
weighs each breast and he
gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts
together and rubs them
against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
his hands,
and says, "Madam, you are 60."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was
incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

 

 

When you just wanna do a little fishing

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[Smokey Mtn. Dinar]

[nstoolman1]

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears;
“ You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side
You know what?”
“What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you’re bad luck.”

[nstoolman1]

Pat had been in business for 25 years.

Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

''Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 5:00." "Great", says Pat, "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you, be some drinkin'." Not a problem," says Pat. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right," says Pat. "I'll be there, Thanks again." "More'n likely be some wild sex, too," "Now that's really not a problem," says Pat, warming to the idea. I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" "Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."

[nstoolman1]

Jose & Carlos are panhandling on the street. Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day. Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.

Jose says "Look at your sign. It says: I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support".

Carlos looks at Jose's sign.

It reads "I only need another $10.00 to move back to my country".

[nstoolman1]

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut
he asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money
from you. I'm doing community service this week." The florist is pleased
and leaves the shop.

Next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a
thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay
his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm
Doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank
you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to
pay his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you.
I'm doing community service this week." The Republican is very happy and
Leaves the shop.

Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a thank you
card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business" and
"Becoming More Successful."

Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay
his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm
Doing community service this week." The Democrat is very happy and
leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference
Between left and right.