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Bama Girl

Just For Grins

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To carry a dog named Shark to the beach is a bad idea

 

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

 

My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.

 

Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.

 

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

 

I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and said, "Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?"

I said, "What are the options?"

She said, "Yes and No."

 

I said to the gym instructor, "Can you teach me to do the splits?"

He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

 

I'm on a wine diet.

I've lost three days already.

 

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

 

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

 

😊

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Now that's just funny. :lol: After a long and rugged day at work it's really nice to come home and read something 

funny and lighthearted. 

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Great jokes, BG....Thanks

 

Hope all is well with you and yours

 

 

Big brotherly hug from Italy

 

 

Best

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