CONSERVATIVE HUMOR: The Wheel and Beer......

[moose 57]

CONSERVATIVE HUMOR: The Wheel and Beer...
        The  Wheel and Beer . . . .  

        The two most important events in all of the inventions of the world
are beer and the wheel.  
         Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. 
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while
 our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to  the brewery. That's how villages were
formed.   
        The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.  These two were the
foundation of modern civilization and, together,  were the catalyst 
for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:   

         1.     Liberals 

        2.  Conservatives.   

          

         Some  men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ  at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of  what
is known as the Conservative movement.  
        Other men who were less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing  the
sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. 

         This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.   

           

        Some  of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known
as girlie-men.  Some  noteworthy Liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the
meat and beer that Conservatives provided.   
           

        Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.  Liberals are 
symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.  

          

         Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish
but like their beef well done.  Sushi, tofu, and French food are
standard Liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note:
many Liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their
men. Most college professors, social workers, personal injury
attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and
 community organizers are Liberals. Liberals even meddled in our
national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.  
           

        Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are often farmers & ranchers, rodeo 
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
police officers, engineers, corporate  executives, athletes, members
of the military, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works
productively.  Conservatives who own companies hire  other
conservatives who want to work for a living.   

          

        Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
producers and decide what to do with the production.  Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why
most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives  were
coming to settle America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed
and created a scheme of trying to get more for nothing.  Most
recently, Liberals focus heavily on promoting divisiveness and
big government to achieve their selfish ends.
           

        Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted
that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this 
post.  A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the
absolute truth of this history that it will be shared  immediately to
other true believers and to just piss off more liberals.    

          

         And there you have it, let your next action reveal your true
self. 
         I'm going to have another beer.  
 

h.a.n.d.

[RodandStaff]

...Or two!!! 

[SnowGlobe7]

lol love it!!!!!!

[Muleslayer]

8 hours ago, moose 57 said:

   Some  of these liberal men evolved into women.

Shame!

the PC term Is TGirls!