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Hilarious things my Mother taught me...

moose 57

By moose 57,
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DIAMOND Apprentice

DIAMOND

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5 hours ago, moose 57 said:

The worst that wasn't funny was when she said "wait till you father gets home"!

No moose, the worst was when momma was gonna whup by bott an I ran from her an climbed a tree, then those feared words wait till ya daddy gets home, an she sits down an starts to wait also, wonder if I had jumped , maybe a a broken arm or even a leg or 2

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nstoolman1 Grand Master

nstoolman1

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My mom would make us go get a switch to whip us with. If we brought back a small branch she would go out in the yard and get a branch and beat us. You learned what size branch to get. You also learned how to blame it on your 6 other sisters and brothers. When my dad was at work she did not shirk from the discipline duties. I swear they talked at night and worked out their strategy for dealing with us.  

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RodandStaff Rookie

RodandStaff

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7 hours ago, Markinsa said:

The suds eventually subsided... But I never cussed at or in front of my mother again. :lol:

One of my most vivid memories is when I attended a Catholic School and in first grade we were all hanging outside in the playground for recess when one young boy pushed another young boy so hard he fell down and rolled into a ground level window and it shattered.  Thankfully no one was hurt...until the Nun came over and swooped up anyone in the vicinity and dragged about 6-7 boys to the office.  Our punishment was to stand out in the hallway next to the water fountain and kiss a bar of soap for a whole class period ( try doing that without licking your lips)... and we were not allowed to wash our lips in the fountain!  Then of course I had to face my Mom when I got home who was taught a Sister can do no wrong.  To top it all off I had to face my Dad when he got home and was informed that we had to pay our share of the damaged window! :unsure:  All that for "being in the wrong place at the wrong time"!!! :blink:

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George Hayduke Rookie

George Hayduke

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6 hours ago, RodandStaff said:

To top it all off I had to face my Dad when he got home and was informed that we had to pay our share of the damaged window! :unsure:  

Lol !  There is no more dreaded phrase for a young boy to hear come from his mothers 'Lips on fire' mouth than, "You wait until your father gets home young man, he's gonna blister your butt!"

I know a lot here can relate to that phrase but in my case the fear and apprehension was mind bending; my father was an Los Angeles Police officer.:huh: Do the words 'Sam Browne' cause you to sit up, tighten your glutes and your face wince a bit...?  If so, then you know what I'm talking about:o Thankfully, it didn't happen often but when it did I made all sorts of behavioral promises to Jesus, some I kept... some I didn't, only He knows:angel:   

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nstoolman1 Grand Master

nstoolman1

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I hear you George H.

My father would walk into the room and we would not know what mood he was in. It was not until we heard the sound of a wooshing belt being removed from belt loops that we knew it was time to scatter. Usually the last kid out of the room got caught. I learned very quickly that sitting close to the tv for better viewing was NOT a good idea. I said to my wife(the daughters were 6 and 2 at the time) "Watch this". I pulled my belt off, making the sound that would make us kids scatter like a covey of quail. The girls just stayed on the floor coloring. I looked at my, and laughed. I said "These kids have not been beaten enough".

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George Hayduke Rookie

George Hayduke

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4 minutes ago, nstoolman1 said:

"Watch this". I pulled my belt off, making the sound that would make us kids scatter like a covey of quail. The girls just stayed on the floor coloring. I looked at my, and laughed. I said "These kids have not been beaten enough".

LOL! ... OR... to you and your wife's credit your little girls had been lovingly disciplined all along and knew not the ways of an angry father with a belt.  Like many young men who grew up in the fifties, we struggled with the ghost of an angry father.  Thankfully, with the guidance of the Lord, that angry father never raised a belt in our household.  I can't vouch for my wife and her 'wooden spoon' though.:rolleyes:

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RodandStaff Rookie

RodandStaff

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24 minutes ago, nstoolman1 said:

I hear you George H.

My father would walk into the room and we would not know what mood he was in. It was not until we heard the sound of a wooshing belt being removed from belt loops that we knew it was time to scatter.

I used to refer to my Dad as "the fastest belt in the west"!  He could  pull it out with one quick motion, then he would fold it in half and snap the two half!  That sound was as scary to us kids as the sound of shotgun being rack is to a burglar...it made our blood go cold!!  :blink:

Edited by RodandStaff
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Highlanderdinar Rookie

Highlanderdinar

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1 hour ago, RodandStaff said:

I used to refer to my Dad as "the fastest belt in the west"!  He could  pull it out with one quick motion, then he would fold it in half and snap the two half!  That sound was as scary to us kids as the sound of shotgun being rack is to a burglar...it made our blood go cold!!  :blink:

Your dad may have had the fastest belt in the west, but my mother had the fastest backhand in the south!

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nstoolman1 Grand Master

nstoolman1

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1 hour ago, RodandStaff said:

I used to refer to my Dad as "the fastest belt in the west"!  He could  pull it out with one quick motion, then he would fold it in half and snap the two half!  That sound was as scary to us kids as the sound of shotgun being rack is to a burglar...it made our blood go cold!!  :blink:

Yes

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umbertino Grand Master

umbertino

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On 21/2/2017 at 7:37 PM, RodandStaff said:

My Mother also taught me that "this is gonna hurt her more than it did me" during a much deserved spankin'...still tryin', after all these years to figure out how over exaggerated that statement was??? :blink: :rolleyes:

True!  Memories.....

Edited by umbertino
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